# How do I cancel my account? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 6, 2013, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648 "2013-12-06T05:03:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/21 "2013-12-06T12:29:48Z")
I see the OP got a warning in the prior thread so all she needs to do is keep on insulting other posters like she did there and the ban hammer will fall. Or she could just go away. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/22 "2013-12-06T13:49:10Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > I see the OP got a warning in the prior thread so all she needs to do is keep on insulting other posters like she did there and the ban hammer will fall. > > Or she could just go away. I guess that would be the Drama Queen test, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/23 "2013-12-06T13:56:11Z")
We really don’t do bans on request. I guess it’s just spite: it’s funny to watch a poster _demand_ a ban as a protest against the awfulness of the SDMB, and then see them come back a week or two later and pretend nothing happened. I’m sorry if you had a bad experience, **mayaonfiya222** , but if you don’t want to post here anymore, just log out and stop posting. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/24 "2013-12-06T14:03:18Z")
But then someday, you’ll be walking down the street, minding your own business, and some perfect stranger will walk up to you and say, “Hey, aren’t you that **mayaonfiya222** freak who posted that stuff about bleaching your recycling bin on the SDMB?” Just pretend you don’t know what they’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/25 "2013-12-06T14:19:03Z")
You want your account canceled? It’s difficult, but I know a guy who knows a guy who can make it happen. 500 bucks sounds reasonable, so I’ll take a grand. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/26 "2013-12-06T14:40:16Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Squirt mustard into your USB ports until the computer goes dark. _USB port_? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/27 "2013-12-06T14:47:11Z")
Press Ctrl+Z lots and lots of times until you get to the registration screen, then press Ctrl+Z one more time. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/28 "2013-12-06T14:47:35Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > We really don’t do bans on request. I guess it’s just spite: it’s funny to watch a poster _demand_ a ban as a protest against the awfulness of the SDMB, and then see them come back a week or two later and pretend nothing happened. I’m sorry if you had a bad experience, **mayaonfiya222** , but if you don’t want to post here anymore, just log out and stop posting. I think s/he is worried you’ll keep billing for membership. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/29 "2013-12-06T15:03:24Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I think s/he is worried you’ll keep billing for membership. She’s a guest, she hasn’t paid anything. (Or did I just get whooshed?) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/30 "2013-12-06T15:04:29Z")
Ironically, the SDMB cancellation fee consists of rotting tuna. It’s right there in the registration agreement. Didn’t any of you jabronis read that thing? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/31 "2013-12-06T15:05:17Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What you need to do is ramp up to a spectacular flame-out. Do whatever it takes to make this happen! Something like “fuck you, cuntlapping moderators, I hope you all die! Here’s a link to my website: discountbathsalts.biz. If you delete it (or any of my sock accounts), I’m gonna sue the Creative Loafing for a million dollars! Now who else here likes kiddie porn?” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/32 "2013-12-06T15:05:59Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I think s/he is worried you’ll keep billing for membership. > [@WhyNot](#): > > She’s a guest, she hasn’t paid anything. (Or did I just get whooshed?) I’m not sure if it’s a whoosh or not, but **mayaonfiya222** is a guest and she hasn’t paid anything or provided any information that could be used for billing. If you buy a membership and get banned, you don’t get your money back, but your subscription isn’t renewed automatically and you wouldn’t get charged again after it expires. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/33 "2013-12-06T15:07:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Why don’t you just stop posting? You can’t. If you try Marley’s goons show up and threaten your pets until you post. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/34 "2013-12-06T15:08:35Z")
Good grief guys, can’t you EVER give a straight (dope) answer?? There is only one way in the sidereal universe to cancel your account on the Straight Dope. It’s not being banned…that just means you get the tag BANNED on all your posts, but you are still here, still part of the system. It’s not to stop posting…again, your posts will still be with up. It’s not even to be banned and expunged as a sock puppet or spammer…the Mods keep secret files on those and play them at their annual gathering, laughing and pointing at the socks and spammers (it might be the drugs, I’ve heard those gatherings can be pretty wild and wooly). No, the only fool proof method is to build a time machine and go back to when you were first going to log in and, using a ball peen hammer, hit yourself squarely in the forehead just before you press enter to submit your username and password for an account on the board. This will stop you from ever joining in the first place, thus ensuring that your account is canceled. If you don’t have access to a time machine then try the hammer anyway. It might help. You need to hit yourself really, really hard with it though. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/35 "2013-12-06T15:16:32Z")
> [@XT](#): > > Good grief guys, can’t you EVER give a straight (dope) answer?? There is only one way in the sidereal universe to cancel your account on the Straight Dope. It’s not being banned…that just means you get the tag BANNED on all your posts, but you are still here, still part of the system. It’s not to stop posting…again, your posts will still be with up. It’s not even to be banned and expunged as a sock puppet or spammer…the Mods keep secret files on those and play them at their annual gathering, laughing and pointing at the socks and spammers (it might be the drugs, I’ve heard those gatherings can be pretty wild and wooly). No, the only fool proof method is to build a time machine and go back to when you were first going to log in and, using a ball peen hammer, hit yourself squarely in the forehead just before you press enter to submit your username and password for an account on the board. This will stop you from ever joining in the first place, thus ensuring that your account is canceled. > > If you don’t have access to a time machine then try the hammer anyway. It might help. You need to hit yourself really, really hard with it though. No - that is not the correct answer - if you do that - you simply split the universe - now there is a timeline where you are a member of the dope (wishing you were’nt) and a universe where you are not a member of the dope and wishing you were. If the universes ever collide - its a paradopes of epic proportions that may wake the master from his slumber… and no one wants that. Well, maybe I do How many hits to gget back 8 years and a month? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/36 "2013-12-06T15:22:23Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > She’s a guest, she hasn’t paid anything. (Or did I just get whooshed?) 95% humor, 5% possible truth - that the OP figures there will be some cost to stay registered here. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/37 "2013-12-06T15:24:17Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > You can check in, but you can never leave. In space, no one can hear you in space. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/38 "2013-12-06T15:24:44Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > FYI – Here is a link to the thread that seems to have precipitated this request: [My neighbor threw tuna fish in my recycling can - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=709603) Oh, dear Jebus. _Thank you!_ **Knead** Whose day has been made ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/39 "2013-12-06T15:41:36Z")
Come on guys. All you have to do to delete your account is stop entering this sequence of numbers into your computer every 108 minutes: 4-8-15-16-23-42. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/40 "2013-12-06T15:44:47Z")
In case the OP’s concern is that she keeps getting email notifications about posts to the thread: click near the top where it says “Thread Tools” and select “Unsubscribe from this Thread”. But just realize, we’ll probably still keep talking about you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648.md?page=3)