# How do I cancel my account? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 6, 2013, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648 "2013-12-06T05:03:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/41 "2013-12-06T15:57:39Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > In case the OP’s concern is that she keeps getting email notifications about posts to the thread: click near the top where it says “Thread Tools” and select “Unsubscribe from this Thread”. But just realize, we’ll probably still keep talking about you. If that’s a problem, the OP should get some of Burt’s Bees Ear Burn Cream. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/42 "2013-12-06T16:17:53Z")
it’s all tuna over the dam now. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/43 "2013-12-06T16:24:27Z")
> [@Suil\_Dubh](#): > > youi jerkk i just truied thaat iout asnd not onlys isd my ascounnht5 noty cancdeeled bnut myu keyuboarrd is alll stickkyy You probably used the generic store brand, didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/44 "2013-12-06T16:30:10Z")
I don’t want to cancel my account, but I do want to stop posting. How do I do that? ??? ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/45 "2013-12-06T16:33:59Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I don’t want to cancel my account, but I do want to stop posting. > > How do I do that? > > ??? I’ve found the best way (mind, I’ve never tried this) is the cold turkey trunk monkey method. Basically, you get some cold turkey and make a sandwich, then when you sit down to post your trunk monkey hits you in the forehead with a ball peen hammer every time you start to type. It’s similar to the fool proof method I told the OP about (contrarian arguments about created parallel universes aside), but you need to invest in a personal home trunk monkey…and a ball peen hammer, or get the trunk monkey with the optional hammer attachment, which is what I’d recommend. If you stop posting we can take that as proof that it works as advertised. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/46 "2013-12-06T16:50:57Z")
> [@XT](#): > > … you need to invest in a personal home trunk monkey…and a ball peen hammer, or get the trunk monkey with the optional hammer attachment, which is what I’d recommend. You fell for that scam? You can pick up a used ball peen hammer on Craigslist for like half what they’re charging at the trunk monkey store. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/47 "2013-12-06T16:53:36Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > You fell for that scam? You can pick up a used ball peen hammer on Craigslist for like half what they’re charging at the trunk monkey store. you’d actaully use a used ball peen hammer from craigslist? that stinks like tunafish left in a recycle bin overnite! ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/48 "2013-12-06T16:54:28Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > You fell for that scam? You can pick up a used ball peen hammer on Craigslist for like half what they’re charging at the trunk monkey store. Yeah, but is it certified for large scale cranial impact with super dense (nearly neutron star caliber) 'doper foreheads??? What’s your Craigslist hammer rated for, anyway? I bet after less than half a dozen hits it’s not going to be able to survive the average 'dopers head, and then what will you have? They will be right back here posting with a warming turkey sandwich, that’s what! Besides, where are you going to get the monkey from on Craigslist?? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/49 "2013-12-06T16:56:20Z")
> [@XT](#): > > Yeah, but is it certified for large scale cranial impact with super dense (nearly neutron star caliber) 'doper foreheads??? What’s your Craigslist hammer rated for, anyway? I bet after less than half a dozen hits it’s not going to be able to survive the average 'dopers head, and then what will you have? They will be right back here posting with a warming turkey sandwich, that’s what! > > Besides, where are you going to get the monkey from on Craigslist?? casual encounters - errr… or so I’ve heard from a friend of a friend. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/50 "2013-12-06T17:13:42Z")
I stopped posting years ago, in an alternative universe filled with ball peen weilding trunk monkeys. It’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/51 "2013-12-06T17:13:57Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > 95% humor, 5% possible truth - that the OP figures there will be some cost to stay registered here. I think she just wants to slam the door on the way out. And we won’t let her slam the door. We’re childish, that way. > [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Oh, dear Jebus. _Thank you!_ > > **Knead** > Whose day has been made Yeah, I hadn’t ever thought of taking my bins to the self car wash. I may try that next summer, if the wrong trash bag breaks. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/52 "2013-12-06T17:21:49Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > You fell for that scam? You can pick up a used ball peen hammer on Craigslist for like half what they’re charging at the trunk monkey store. Whatever you do, don’t use the ball peen hammer and then try to give it to someone as a gift. Nobody likes used gifts. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/53 "2013-12-06T17:34:12Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > People on this board can immediately tell when they’re being played. Yeaaaah… not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/54 "2013-12-06T17:38:19Z")
Love me some Streisand Effect. I had totally forgotten I even posted in that thread until now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/55 "2013-12-06T17:44:18Z")
This sequence is the funniest part of the thread: > [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Nobody is going to dig up your posts and embarrass you. > [@Green\_Bean](#): > > FYI – Here is a link to the thread that seems to have precipitated this request: [My neighbor threw tuna fish in my recycling can - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=709603) ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/56 "2013-12-06T17:46:07Z")
Gives truth and meaning to the phrase: You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t even (officially) quit the game. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/57 "2013-12-06T18:31:01Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Gives truth and meaning to the phrase: > > You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t even (officially) quit the game. 😛 The only way to win is not play the game - which is like forfeiting, but no one knows about it - which is really like losing. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/58 "2013-12-06T18:35:48Z")
If you think about the Game you have lost the Game. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/59 "2013-12-06T18:44:33Z")
**How do I cancel my account?** I think you have to pay a jealous neighbor to do it for you while you go out on a date with your new boyfriend. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/60 "2013-12-06T18:53:43Z")
[Same way you’d end a conversation. Stop talking, walk away.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=707490) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648.md?page=4)