# How do I cancel my account? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 6, 2013, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648 "2013-12-06T05:03:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/81 "2013-12-07T00:30:06Z")
Stop me or I’ll post again! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/82 "2013-12-07T00:31:28Z")
Wait. Stop. Don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/83 "2013-12-07T00:35:57Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Stop me or I’ll post again! OMG, it’s the mad poster!!! ---
**Author:** ![Molotok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Molotok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Molotok)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/84 "2013-12-07T00:56:38Z")
**TroutMan** , get out of my recycling bin. You’re making it stink! ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/85 "2013-12-07T01:17:49Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Can you carry a tuna? Then you know what to do. _I love to singa About the moona and the tuna and the springa…_ ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/86 "2013-12-07T01:18:49Z")
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/87 "2013-12-07T01:25:55Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. Whoa! Just saw that as the latest post in that weird tuna-fish thread. Great minds think alike. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/88 "2013-12-07T01:27:21Z")
No. Stop. If you don’t, we’ll be cruisin’ through the Gulf Stream any minute. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/89 "2013-12-07T01:28:01Z")
Since we’re going off the deep end here: What did the WWII Japanese Admiral say when someone put tuna in _ **his** _ recycle bin? Toro! Toro! Toro! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/90 "2013-12-07T01:32:22Z")
In fairness to the OP though, I myself like a woman with a clean can that doesn’t smell all tuna fishy. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/91 "2013-12-07T01:37:39Z")
Step 1) Buy a membership. Step 2) Request a custom title of “account canceled” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/92 "2013-12-07T01:38:58Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > In fairness to the OP though, I myself like a woman with a clean can that doesn’t smell all tuna fishy. How do you feel about a woman who bleaches her can? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/93 "2013-12-07T01:49:44Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Stop me or I’ll post again! > [@Eutychus](#): > > OMG, it’s the mad poster!!! We’re gonna post ya, Sheriff. But we’re gonna post ya slow! We’re doing George Carlin’s “Seven Words” now, right? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/94 "2013-12-07T02:00:49Z")
nm ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/95 "2013-12-07T09:01:04Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > How do you feel about a woman who bleaches her can? Over here, beauty shops – I kid you not – routinely offer “nipple bleaching.” I haven’t heard of anyone bleaching her can. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/96 "2013-12-07T11:00:02Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Over here, beauty shops – I kid you not – routinely offer “nipple bleaching.” I haven’t heard of anyone bleaching her can. Then you haven’t been paying attention! > **[Anal bleaching: Have you? Would you?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=542297)** > > Anal Bleaching. Yes, it’s true, it’s out there, people are doing it, and some are experiencing significant side effects and complications. Others swear it is the best thing since sliced bread, and are proud to show the results to friends and... > **[Is anal bleaching for you?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=436744)** > > Anal Bleaching After having read the article, I must conclude that no, it’s not for me. Despite their assertion that the phenomenon now goes far beyond “the young jet set and the detail-oriented gay community.” Any dopers feel that this process... And am I the only one … concerned?.. that those two threads were created by Qadgop the Mercotan, two years apart? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/97 "2013-12-07T11:56:22Z")
Now now, let’s keep this thread classy. No need to bring up anal bleaching please. Can we get back to the ball peen hammer wielding monkeys? ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/98 "2013-12-07T12:12:47Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Now now, let’s keep this thread classy. No need to bring up anal bleaching please. Can we get back to the ball peen hammer wielding monkeys? Damn. And I was just about to tell a great story about when I had my anus bleached by ball peen hammer-wielding monkeys ☹ ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/99 "2013-12-07T14:53:53Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I don’t want to cancel my account, but I do want to stop posting. > > How do I do that? > > ??? > [@XT](#): > > I’ve found the best way (mind, I’ve never tried this) is the cold turkey trunk monkey method. Basically, you get some cold turkey and make a sandwich, then when you sit down to post your trunk monkey hits you in the forehead with a ball peen hammer every time you start to type. It’s similar to the fool proof method I told the OP about (contrarian arguments about created parallel universes aside), but you need to invest in a personal home trunk monkey…and a ball peen hammer, or get the trunk monkey with the optional hammer attachment, which is what I’d recommend. > > If you stop posting we can take that as proof that it works as advertised. That worked! Errr… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648/100 "2013-12-07T15:04:03Z")
> [@RobDog](#): > > Damn. And I was just about to tell a great story about when I had my anus bleached by ball peen hammer-wielding monkeys ☹ FYI, \*every \*story about having one’s anus bleached by ball peen hammer-wielding monkeys is a great story. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-cancel-my-account/675648.md?page=6)