# How do I choose a porno for the Afghani woman across the street? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2002, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028 "2002-08-22T03:26:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/1 "2002-08-22T03:26:03Z")
I find myself in a singularly bizarre situation I have made friends with a few of my neighbors, including the Pakistani family next door and the Afghani family across the street. (well, the wife and kids of that one, never met the dad). Today I was talking to the woman across the street because her son was spitting on Dominic. After that she sort of lowered her head and asked me if I had any “of those R dvds”. “R rated movies?” I asked. She nodded. “with the sex” she said. “Do you mean regular movies with sex in them, or porno movies?” she meant porn. She wanted to borrow one. Her friend had told her about them and she was amazed and had to see for herself. I don’t know where any of ours are (and they’re all on VHS anyway, and they only have a dvd player) so I’ve found a local rental place that rents adult dvds… …so now what do I choose as the first porno this woman will ever see? This is a woman who wears traditional muslim attire, whose marriage was arranged by her parents, and who would be killed in her home country for even talking about porn, undoubtedly. I’m guessing that she isn’t going to tell her husband about this! So I’m thinking that All Anal Day on the Farm probably isn’t the best choice… …but what is? How on earth do I choose? [probably specific suggestions won’t work because I’ll be limited to the 150-or-so dvd selection at the rental place] ---
**Author:** ![loupdebois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e495f1/32.png) [@loupdebois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loupdebois)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/2 "2002-08-22T03:30:43Z")
Honestly? Pick the absolute tamest thing you can find. Playboy is good for that… a couple of nude women taking a bubble bath together is probably enough for a first-time experience. Make sure to tell her where you got it, and that she should look at the selection herself next time if she wants to find what’s to her… tastes exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/3 "2002-08-22T03:42:07Z")
Right into lesbianism? Hmmm, since it seems her goal is to see it for herself getting something that doesn’t actually show everything, or … well I mean at least straight intercourse might leave her still wanting to see more. I’d say something artsy with some sort of a plot. Maybe something soap opery might do. Or you could invite her over to see the edited versions on pay-per-view cable. She wont see any erect penises but it will certainly let her know what’s there and whether she’s absolutely sure she wants to see everything. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/4 "2002-08-22T03:43:25Z")
I’ll second that advice. You want to go with something very, very tame. I know a woman who grew up in our more sexually liberated American society, and she became physically sick the first time she saw actual, explicit porn. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/5 "2002-08-22T04:03:44Z")
I’m thinking of taking the laptop over there and showing her a few clips that we have downloaded and seeing what she thinks… ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/6 "2002-08-22T04:07:00Z")
Youza! Opal, she may be modest enough to not exactly want to look at porn with the neighbor lady! I must say, you have some of the most interesting neighbors 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/7 "2002-08-22T04:11:27Z")
I disagree. I say get a full-on hetero-only hard-core title. Nothing too kinky (like group or female-female). But, hey, if she wants porn, I say give her _porn!_ Erect penises, money shots, BeeJers, the whole she-bang. Happy ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/8 "2002-08-22T04:47:16Z")
Ha! Strangely enough, I would agree with **Happy**. She wants sex, show her sex. She sounds hungry for it almost, sheltered from the kinkier parts of society. Go all out, let he know what else is out there. ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/9 "2002-08-22T05:03:53Z")
Zalman King would be proud. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/10 "2002-08-22T05:45:37Z")
I say take her along to the video rental place and show her the selection. Let her pick one out. Frankly, I would NOT take the laptop over and show her a few clips. Hubby comes home unexpectedly, or children walk in unexpectedly, and you’re in the midst of a wierd, difficult to explain situation. People have been killed over such things. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/11 "2002-08-22T07:22:55Z")
Am I the only one who thinks Opal’s situation itself has the makings of a porn movie?!?! I mean, come on. It’s got girl-on-girl skin flick written all over it! All you two need is a camera, a shag carpet and a sleezy director in a leather jacket and cowboy boots yelling instructions at you like, “C’mon, Opal, at least try to look like you enjoy having sex with a woman.” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/12 "2002-08-22T07:26:10Z")
This thread is better suited for **IMHO**. I’ll move it for you. * * * **Cajun Man** - SDMB Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/13 "2002-08-22T07:26:51Z")
Candida Royall had a line of vids she produced that were supposidly for women. “Femme Productions” were the line. I saw some of these and they weren’t to bad. They focused more on the “relationship” rather than the exercise aspect of sex. (Don’t get me wrong, they were hard core. But, the participants seemed to enjoy what they were doing. For an introduction, this would beat out “Gay Boys in Bondage.” 😃 Let us know how she reacts. I am curious how someone with such a different cultural background reacts. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/14 "2002-08-22T07:38:26Z")
Could it be that she wants to learn how sex in America is done? You could make her husband a happy man if she learns about girl/girl, swallowing, and anal. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/15 "2002-08-22T07:51:19Z")
Wow, what an amazing story. I think I’d go with some of the softer, “couple-oriented” stuff. There is plenty of stuff out there that shows penises and all kinds of fun stuff but stays away from close up penetration, facials, and other potentially disturbing stuff. Although there is nothing wrong with some good old fashioned porn, it might be a bit much for someone who hasn’t spent her youth watching scrambled playboy channel after her parents went to sleep and that sort of thing. If she is watching this out of curiousity or for shock value, she’ll come away satiated without thinking we are too depraved around here. And if she is watching it to get off- well when I first discovered porn, even the tame ultra-softcore stuff you can rent at blockbuster would do the trick. If you can get a hold of Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni’s book of short stories **Arranged Marriages** , the story _Affair_ deals partially with a pretty sheltered woman’s first exposure to porn, and would probably be a good read in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/16 "2002-08-22T10:12:32Z")
I’m thinking standard hardcore is the way to go. I think that is what she is curious about. I don’t think she is looking to get aroused, just to see “what it is about” really. ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/17 "2002-08-22T10:30:07Z")
Keep us posted, OpalCat. Social Studies was never this interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/18 "2002-08-22T11:56:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stuyguy \* > \*\*Am I the only one who thinks Opal’s situation itself has the makings of a porn movie?!?! I mean, come on. It’s got girl-on-girl skin flick written all over it! > > \*\* Maybe, but there’s already too much plot and character development. I, for instance, would have hit the FF button long ago. If you decide to go on the lighter side, I’d suggest “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”: Great movie with beautiful people and lots of tastefully done sex, albeit shamefully tame by hardcore standards. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/19 "2002-08-22T18:16:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\* > This is a woman who wears traditional muslim attire, whose marriage was arranged by her parents, and who would be killed in her home country for even talking about porn, undoubtedly. I’m guessing that she isn’t going to tell her husband about this! > \*\* ``` Let me be the first to say, **God Bless America!** ``` ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028/20 "2002-08-22T19:14:23Z")
I’d say to rent her something along the lines of what one might find on SpectraVision. You know, soft core. Not showing insertions, etc. If she wants something harder 😛 then she’ll ask for it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-choose-a-porno-for-the-afghani-woman-across-the-street/125028.md?page=2)