# How do I fake my way through a super bowl party? **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 3, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957 "2011-02-03T00:06:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/41 "2011-02-03T08:27:09Z")
Everyone will be intoxicated by half-time. Just enjoy the food and drink and say “blitz” or “dime package” occasionally. You’ll be o.k. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/42 "2011-02-03T10:45:24Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > If you play your cards right, you might even poke the girl. How will playing cards help? ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/43 "2011-02-03T11:44:04Z")
I had to deal with this during the World Cup. Just cheer when other people cheer, and if you’re drunk enough you’ll do that anyway. I doubt that the trivia bores will want to talk to you, anyway - they’ll seek out people equally boring and start swapping factoids. Just make sure that you’re not sitting near them, otherwise you’ll want to strangle the universe before half time. If people start asking how you’re enjoying yourself, just assume that they don’t really care and are making small talk, and the same rules apply. “Great party, woo!” or, “It’s so exciting, thanks for inviting me,” depending on who’s asking. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/44 "2011-02-03T14:29:49Z")
> [@Jules\_Andre](#): > > At some point, nod your head admiringly, read the name on the back of the jersey most recently shown on close up, and say, “You know what’s best about \_\_\_\_\_\_? He’s just a FOOTBALL player.” > > This works in every sport btw (with obvious adjustments). And you’re guaranteed to hear it at least once sometime during the game. Maybe not say it after that, though. Unless that last player shown was Roethlisburger, in which case you’ll get some eye rolls and may even start an unintentional debate. When the topic of Roethlisburger’s sexual assaults comes up, just avoid it. You could maybe say, “he just LOOKS like a douchebag.” You’d be right. You could also mention that it’s pretty amazing that the Packers have overcome their lack of a running game since the injury of Ryan Grant. You could point out that championship teams usually run a more balanced offense than Green Bay’s. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/45 "2011-02-03T14:33:15Z")
If there is a long running play, say “Great block!” If one team is down by 8 points and has the ball late in the game, say “If they score, they’ll have to go for 2” ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/46 "2011-02-03T14:36:21Z")
I went to a Super Bowl party in Leeds, England, where fully 95% of the attendees had no idea what was going on. Since this was Leeds, everybody faked their way through it by drinking heavily. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/47 "2011-02-03T14:46:53Z")
Yeah, no need to try to fake it. Just enjoy the party. Some will be into the game, some into the commercials, some just like you there for simply the party itself. I’ve got a German couple coming over to mine who just want to experience this American pastime with their new friends. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/48 "2011-02-03T15:20:16Z")
Do what we do. Bitch about the Browns. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/49 "2011-02-03T15:31:58Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Do what we do. Bitch about the Browns. Note: all bitching about the Browns must include “except for Joe Thomas”. Did you know he was in the Pro Bowl again? Third time in four years. He got a big bonus for it. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/50 "2011-02-03T18:35:11Z")
Yeah, I HATE football and even I know it’s always “holding”. Also, “What they really need to do is put some points on the board!” ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/51 "2011-02-03T19:15:06Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > Wear a CFL jersey, and every few minutes say, “What kind of a wuss needs _four_ downs?” This! I also like to yell for an onside kick whenever my team is down by only a few and they are kicking… high risk, high reward! ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/52 "2011-02-03T20:07:10Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > This! > > I also like to yell for an onside kick whenever my team is down by only a few and they are kicking… high risk, high reward! Surprisingly similar to my strategy, which is “C’mon, statistically you get MUCH better outcomes from going for it on 4th and 5. Don’t punt, you pussies!” ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/53 "2011-02-03T20:18:00Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Surprisingly similar to my strategy, which is “C’mon, statistically you get MUCH better outcomes from going for it on 4th and 5. Don’t punt, you pussies!” You might enjoy reading a new book, **Scorecasting** , by Jon Wertheim (of Sports Illustrated) and Tobias Moskowitz (professor of finance at the University of Chicago). One chapter focuses on a high-school football coach in Arkansas who’s been very successful while following some very unorthodox strategies (always go for it on fourth down, always onside kick, never kick field goals, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/54 "2011-02-03T20:38:53Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > You might enjoy reading a new book, **Scorecasting** , by Jon Wertheim (of Sports Illustrated) and Tobias Moskowitz (professor of finance at the University of Chicago). One chapter focuses on a high-school football coach in Arkansas who’s been very successful while following some very unorthodox strategies (always go for it on fourth down, always onside kick, never kick field goals, etc.) I might, except my fandom of football is entirely limited to “make snarky comments about doing unorthodox plays” and “don’t embarrass myself in fantasy football when my little brother asks me to fill out his league”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/55 "2011-02-04T00:21:39Z")
Throw in a few of [these](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbs8OTEauHc&feature=player_detailpage#t=4s). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/56 "2011-02-04T00:46:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Surprisingly similar to my strategy, which is “C’mon, statistically you get MUCH better outcomes from going for it on 4th and 5. Don’t punt, you pussies!” 4th and 1 or 2 wouldn’t surprise me too much, but 4th and 5? Could we see a cite? Of course, if I saw someone going for it on 4th and 20, I’d still cheer. You’ve got to respect balls. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/57 "2011-02-04T00:54:14Z")
My perhaps limited understanding of football seems to indicate that if you are going for it on 4th and 20 you are probably desperate and already losing (or have already lost), so having balls is probably not a factor. 😉 -XT ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/58 "2011-02-04T00:55:39Z")
Here is what I do: drink beer, eat food and yell when every one else yells. Drink beer. If the guy holding the ball is running, I yell _run run run_. Drink beer. If the ball is thrown, I yell: _Catch it catch it catch it_! Drink beer. If someone else is yelling one of those things I yell: \*Don’t drop it, don’t drop it. \*When the other team has the ball I yell: _Hit him, hit him_. Drink beer. You can never go wrong bitching about the refs, especially if your team is losing. (If you check out the Steelers thread, you can get some first-class whining and bitching. Seems the refs always favor the Steelers or something.) Drink beer. When my team is trying a field goal or a punt I yell: _Kick it!_ And one last thing, and this is important: drink beer. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/59 "2011-02-04T00:58:50Z")
Remember that a Super Bowl party is much less about the Super Bowl than about the party. If you can’t get interested in the game as much as your companions do, be interested in them instead. Enjoy their enjoyment. Act happy or sad when they do, and it might even rub off on you a little. And you can always talk about the commercials. They’ll have more air time than the football. You can laugh about how long the pregame show is, too (I’m pretty sure it’s started already). ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957/60 "2011-02-04T01:51:22Z")
Be sure to show [your sweet style](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f27IqVo5-Oc). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-fake-my-way-through-a-super-bowl-party/569957.md?page=4)