# How do I get my daughter to adopt the work ethic? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2010, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906 "2010-09-07T10:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/81 "2010-09-08T20:05:23Z")
I’m thinking I could get a job as a reverse stripper - “Put it on! Put it all on!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/82 "2010-09-08T20:21:26Z")
I suppose it could be worse. A few minutes ago I was chatting with a fellow who is in his fifties. He was just laid off and has no job prospects. One of his daughters is on welfare and keeps having babies. She abandons her babies with him. He now has four of them. She refuses to get fixed. She refuses to get a job. She refuses to clean or do laundry. But she keeps cranking out babies that he gets stuck raising. He now has himself, his wife, his two adult daughters, and the four babies of one of them all living in his two bedroom home that he can not longer afford to keep. Which comes to my suggestion (this time a serious one): how about putting together a program that evaluates her for physical and psychological problems, and also introduces her to the welfare system, showing her exactly what it is that she can expect should her present course not change, and also showing her how to survive in that system, so that hopefully she can have the best life possible given her abilities and ambition, rather than being lost in the welfare system or falling through the cracks? ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/83 "2010-09-08T20:29:42Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m thinking I could get a job as a reverse stripper - “Put it on! Put it all on!” 😃 :: tips **Cat Whisperer** $20 to get dressed :: 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/84 "2010-09-08T20:33:39Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > > [@Dogzilla](#): > > > > Once again… there’s always stripping. 😉 > > Not unless she picks up her socks: > [Times Higher Edcation:](http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=26&storycode=413285&c=1) > > > [@](#): > > > > According to a study at the University of Leeds, one in four lap dancers has a degree, while nine out of 10 have at least completed a further education course. The study, by Teela Sanders and Kate Hardy, also found that of 300 dancers interviewed, 14 per cent used their earnings to help fund an undergraduate degree. The researchers concluded that arts graduates were most likely to turn to stripping “after being unable to find other work”. But it may be a mistake to think that the dancers are wasting their education. Dr Sanders said on 27 August: “These women do work hard for their money - you don’t just turn up and wiggle your bum.” From what a few friends who used to work as strippers told me they had a) A lot of free time and b) A lot of money, so going to school was a very common thing. Not so much like the stereotype of a girl stripping to put herself through school, but a stripper going back to school because she only works three nights a week for a few hours and was pretty bored the rest of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/85 "2010-09-08T20:56:40Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > From what a few friends who used to work as strippers told me they had a) A lot of free time and b) A lot of money, so going to school was a very common thing. Not so much like the stereotype of a girl stripping to put herself through school, but a stripper going back to school because she only works three nights a week for a few hours and was pretty bored the rest of the time. I just read Candy Girl, which is a book about a year in the life of a stripper. The writer says she’s never worked with so many people who all had college degrees before she started working at the strip clubs. The strippers I know (from pole classes) are either highly educated or dedicated mommies who have time to do things like, volunteer in their kid’s school library. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/86 "2010-09-08T21:33:29Z")
Totally off topic, but from your posts on your pole dancing classes **Dogzilla** , you’ve encouraged me to take one (once they come to my area; for now they’re only in the suburbs). Aside from the thigh bruising, you say it’s a fantastic workout and it sounds really fun! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/87 "2010-09-09T01:05:44Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I suppose it could be worse. A few minutes ago I was chatting with a fellow who is in his fifties. He was just laid off and has no job prospects. One of his daughters is on welfare and keeps having babies. She abandons her babies with him. He now has four of them. She refuses to get fixed. She refuses to get a job. She refuses to clean or do laundry. But she keeps cranking out babies that he gets stuck raising. He now has himself, his wife, his two adult daughters, and the four babies of one of them all living in his two bedroom home that he can not longer afford to keep. > > Which comes to my suggestion (this time a serious one): how about putting together a program that evaluates her for physical and psychological problems, and also introduces her to the welfare system, showing her exactly what it is that she can expect should her present course not change, and also showing her how to survive in that system, so that hopefully she can have the best life possible given her abilities and ambition, rather than being lost in the welfare system or falling through the cracks? So, hypothetically, what could he get for those healthy babies she keeps making? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/88 "2010-09-09T01:06:50Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > > I’m thinking I could get a job as a reverse stripper - “Put it on! Put it all on!” 😃 > > :: tips **Cat Whisperer** $20 to get dressed :: > > 🆒 WooHoo! I think I’ve found a new career. Make it $30, and I’ll put on a parka! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/89 "2010-09-09T01:45:11Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I suppose it could be worse. A few minutes ago I was chatting with a fellow who is in his fifties. He was just laid off and has no job prospects. One of his daughters is on welfare and keeps having babies. She abandons her babies with him. He now has four of them. She refuses to get fixed. She refuses to get a job. She refuses to clean or do laundry. But she keeps cranking out babies that he gets stuck raising. He now has himself, his wife, his two adult daughters, and the four babies of one of them all living in his two bedroom home that he can not longer afford to keep. > > Which comes to my suggestion (this time a serious one): how about putting together a program that evaluates her for physical and psychological problems, and also introduces her to the welfare system, showing her exactly what it is that she can expect should her present course not change, and also showing her how to survive in that system, so that hopefully she can have the best life possible given her abilities and ambition, rather than being lost in the welfare system or falling through the cracks? Sorry **Muffin** , but you’re living in a fool’s paradise. Society wants people like this to suffer, and for the score to be settled. We’ll not be satisfied unless the work ethic (and there \*is \*only one) can be taken right out of her degraded little hide. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/90 "2010-09-09T02:34:25Z")
Weren’t you already reprimanded and told to sit the corner? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/91 "2010-09-09T02:43:07Z")
No. All I did was say I’m a sponge and a layabout. I sit in enough corners because of that, thank you. It wasn’t me as such that **twickster** warned off, so much as the line of discussion I started. It became disruptive mostly because others joined in and took the focus off the OP’s issue. If I bear any blame, it’s only because I was compelling enough not to ignore. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/92 "2010-09-09T02:59:46Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > No. All I did was say I’m a sponge and a layabout. I sit in enough corners because of that, thank you. > > It wasn’t me as such that **twickster** warned off, so much as the line of discussion I started. It became disruptive mostly because others joined in and took the focus off the OP’s issue. If I bear any blame, it’s only because I was compelling enough not to ignore. Though once a mod has asked you to take it elsewhere, you should pack up your charisma and move it to a new thread. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/93 "2010-09-09T03:02:47Z")
Told twice - I’m gone. Be excellent to each other, y’all. It’s all we’ve got. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/94 "2010-09-09T03:06:05Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Sorry **Muffin** , but you’re living in a fool’s paradise. Society wants people like this to suffer, and for the score to be settled. We’ll not be satisfied unless the work ethic (and there \*is \*only one) can be taken right out of her degraded little hide. I suppose that depends on where you live, and of course I have no idea what the social support system is like where the OP lives. When people in my district get booted out of social housing, they have a right to appeal to an administrative tribunal that I sit on, and in my private practice I make a point of always carrying a few legal aid files, so I am well aware of how the social support system works where I live. The people whom I have come across who run it for the most part are dedicated to doing the very best they can to assist the needy, not to degrade them or to cause them to suffer. I would hope that is the same where the OP lives, but I really can’t say. What I often see is people who have little or no understanding of the social support system get the short end of the stick when compared against those who know how to play the system, in a system that is somewhat rigid and under reasonable financial constraints, and which regularly gives rise to Tuttle / Buttle problems that could be solved or prevented in the first place if the needy person had a clue as to what to do, or had a “worker” to guide them through the system. The OP’s daughter is un-motivated, un-skilled, and apparently giving up on further education, which suggests that if she does not pull up her socks, she will either continue to be a dependant of her parents, or she will be a dependant of the system. With any luck, getting to understand what lies out there for her in the social support system if she does not pick up her socks might help motivate her to become more self-sufficient. If she is unable to get her act together, then she is going to be a dependant of the social support system, so she had best learn how to survive in the system, rather than be ground down by the system. ---
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/95 "2010-09-16T08:33:14Z")
Just a brief update. We give our daughter a list of chores to do each day while we are at work, which grudgingly she does. Each week we make sure she has applied for at least one job, my wife is taking her into town on Friday to sign up with an employment agency. I am waiting for her to give me a copy of her CV so that I can help make it as good as possible, given the limited qualifications and experience that she has to put on it. Hopefully we will see some progress soon. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/96 "2010-09-16T08:53:40Z")
Good job! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/97 "2010-09-16T12:15:58Z")
I love updates! Thanks, **Walker**. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/98 "2010-09-16T13:36:45Z")
Its a start. ---
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/99 "2010-09-17T11:37:14Z")
Thanks all, will keep the updates coming as and when anything interesting occurs. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906/100 "2010-09-17T11:43:53Z")
> [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](#): > > I am waiting for her to give me a copy of her CV so that I can help make it as good as possible, given the limited qualifications and experience that she has to put on it. Jeez, even people with friggin’ _PhDs_ don’t really stand a chance to find something (even menial) in this economy, so a unexperienced lazy girl out of highschool ? Her _CV_ ? It could be written on a post stamp. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-daughter-to-adopt-the-work-ethic/552906.md?page=6)