# How do I get my EX Back **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761 "2010-12-29T23:36:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nathaniel1994](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@nathaniel1994](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nathaniel1994)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/1 "2010-12-29T23:36:01Z")
Ok well im 16 and i dated my love for 7months before we finally broke up… but it was my fault it was because before i didnt tell her i use to like a girl before i actually met her and she was upset about that because that girl was my best friend while i was going out with her. and she forgave me for that but then when I was boxing with my friends they all saw one of my neighbors and judged her like shes hot and all that but i didnt say anything and she got mad cuz i didnt mention that part of my day because i forgot and after the first incident i told her id tell her everything that happens in my day but i forgot about that one detail and its probably because I didn’t really care for what my friends were thinking or even looked at my neighbor… Ok and now after we’ve been broken up she tells me tat i dont make her happy like i use to and that i dont listen, but honestly i listen to everything she says and some interest in what happen in her day, but she says that i dont look at her the same anymore… I just don’t understand what she means I haven’t changed, but recently she met a guy and she likes him and she called me today crying saying she doesn’t know if she should let me go and i wanna spend time with her to show her that i can make her happy… I miss her… i just dont know what to do can someone help me? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/2 "2010-12-29T23:51:28Z")
> [@nathaniel1994](#): > > Ok well im 16 and i dated my love for 7months before we finally broke up.. but it was my fault it was because before i didnt tell her i use to like a girl before i actually met her and she was upset about that because that girl was my best friend while i was going out with her. and she forgave me for that but then when I was boxing with my friends they all saw one of my neighbors and judged her like shes hot and all that but i didnt say anything and she got mad cuz i didnt mention that part of my day because i forgot and after the first incident i told her id tell her everything that happens in my day but i forgot about that one detail and its probably because I didn’t really care for what my friends were thinking or even looked at my neighbor.. Ok and now after we’ve been broken up she tells me tat i dont make her happy like i use to and that i dont listen, but honestly i listen to everything she says and some interest in what happen in her day, but she says that i dont look at her the same anymore.. I just don’t understand what she means I haven’t changed, but recently she met a guy and she likes him and she called me today crying saying she doesn’t know if she should let me go and i wanna spend time with her to show her that i can make her happy.. I miss her.. i just dont know what to do can someone help me? I… I… I tried to break into paragraphs, but it’s one long sentence! First get some of [this](http://www.google.com/search?q=decaf+coffee&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a#q=decaf+coffee&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbo=u&tbs=shop:1&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wf&biw=1024&bih=554&fp=9bef8cda26d1a6ec). Then kid, listen these things happen. Sometimes you gotta let go. It’s hard, but it’s life. ---
**Author:** ![nathaniel1994](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@nathaniel1994](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nathaniel1994)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/3 "2010-12-30T00:07:07Z")
Ok well im 16 and i dated my love for 7months before we finally broke up… but it was my fault it was because before i didnt tell her i use to like a girl before i actually met her and she was upset about that because that girl was my best friend while i was going out with her. and she forgave me for that but then when I was boxing with my friends they all saw one of my neighbors and judged her like shes hot and all that but i didnt say anything and she got mad cuz i didnt mention that part of my day because i forgot and after the first incident i told her id tell her everything that happens in my day but i forgot about that one detail and its probably because I didn’t really care for what my friends were thinking or even looked at my neighbor… Ok and now after we’ve been broken up she tells me tat i dont make her happy like i use to and that i dont listen, but honestly i listen to everything she says and some interest in what happen in her day, but she says that i dont look at her the same anymore… I just don’t understand what she means I haven’t changed, but recently she met a guy and she likes him and she called me today crying saying she doesn’t know if she should let me go and i wanna spend time with her to show her that i can make her happy… I miss her… i just dont know what to do can someone help me? ---
**Author:** ![conurepete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@conurepete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/conurepete)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/4 "2010-12-30T00:12:10Z")
Punctuate. Women love punctuation. ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_Jackal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clockwork\_Jackal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_Jackal)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/5 "2010-12-30T00:12:53Z")
> [@nathaniel1994](#): > > Ok well im 16 and i dated my love for 7months before we finally broke up.. > > but it was my fault it was because before i didnt tell her i use to like a girl before i actually met her > > and she was upset about that because that girl was my best friend while i was going out with her. > > and she forgave me for that but then when I was boxing with my friends they all saw one of my neighbors > > and judged her like shes hot and all that > > but i didnt say anything and > > she got mad cuz i didnt mention that part of my day because i forgot and > > after the first incident i told her id tell her everything that happens in my day but i forgot about that one detail and > > its probably because I didn’t really care for what my friends were thinking or even looked at my neighbor.. > > Ok and now after we’ve been broken up she tells me tat i dont make her happy like i use to and that i dont listen, > > but honestly i listen to everything she says and some interest in what happen in her day, > > but she says that i dont look at her the same anymore.. > > I just don’t understand what she means > > I haven’t changed, but > > recently she met a guy and > > she likes him and she called me today crying saying she doesn’t know if she should let me go and > > i wanna spend time with her to show her that i can make her happy.. > > I miss her.. > > i just dont know what to do can someone help me? Ok, post broken up into…well…not sentences but complete thoughts perhaps? Seriously, is it so hard to type in complete sentences? Sigh. This is where I say “Kids nowadays! And get off my lawn!” ☹ Ok, you want some advice? She broke up with you. There’s really not much you can do. Besides, you’re sixteen. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and all that. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/6 "2010-12-30T00:14:17Z")
The first thing you need to do is find the shift button. ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_Jackal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clockwork\_Jackal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_Jackal)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/7 "2010-12-30T00:14:21Z")
> [@conurepete](#): > > Punctuate. Women love punctuation. Punctuation makes me hot. And capitalization totally makes me horny. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/8 "2010-12-30T00:16:23Z")
ITT: women love periods. Er wait… ---
**Author:** ![nathaniel1994](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@nathaniel1994](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nathaniel1994)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/9 "2010-12-30T00:29:08Z")
Alright i’m sorry I didn’t use correct grammar I just wanted that all out of my brain and well it came out like that. It was all of my thoughts bunched together I guess. ---
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/10 "2010-12-30T00:37:32Z")
I’m almost 24 and I have no ex to even try to get back. Be glad you have a memory at all. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/11 "2010-12-30T00:39:31Z")
Hook up with her at your ten-year high school reunion after you’ve both married other people and divorced them. Worked for me … . ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/12 "2010-12-30T00:46:10Z")
I speak from bitter experience here - if you moon after her and whine like a pussy you will drive her away to the point of total irretrievability. If you are to stand a chance, you need to let her know she’s missing out on something great, not having something whiney and sad, in her face, that she could have any time she wanted. Don’t contact her for a long while. No IM, no Facebook, no email, no texts. If you see her, just act cool and happy and be polite to her. If she contacts you, do the same. It will hurt like shit, and you’ll fool yourself that you’re being mean to her, but ignore that feeling. If you feel the need, have a chat with her saying that you miss her, that you are innocent of what she suspects, but that since she doesn’t want you, you’re hurting right now and you can’t be near her. Then do it. In the meantime, work on yourself. Take up a new hobby, learn a musical instrument, concentrate on your education, if you’re not fit, get fit - take up running, whatever. Then, when you’re feeling better about yourself, gently get back in touch - 3 or so months down the line. And not in a full-on way, just gently suggest being friendly again. There are zero guarantees to this, but I think it probably stands the best chance of succeeding. You might find during this period of reconciling your own feelings, though, that your priorities change and that maybe she isn’t the best thing since sliced toast. Or you may even meet someone else who is. That’s my advice anyway. That and continue the good punctuation, spelling and capitalization you’ve already started to improve on in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/13 "2010-12-30T00:47:50Z")
You’ve just arrived at the buffet, why do you want to commit to the fried chicken for so long when there’s all kinds of other dishes to be had? Let her go. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/14 "2010-12-30T00:52:25Z")
16? That’s old enough to start working on your pilot’s license. Chicks dig pilots. Learning to fly will either A) Get your girl back; B) Get you a better girl; or C) Neither. But if C, then you’ll still know how to fly. 😃 Seriously, what **jjimm** said. Be active, be interesting, feel good about yourself. Don’t be needy. Be ‘needed’. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/15 "2010-12-30T01:13:55Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > I’m almost 24 and I have no ex to even try to get back. Be glad you have a memory at all. **Mookie** , this is the last time I’m telling you to keep your pity/attention-seeking posts in your depression thread. If you do it again, I’ll start issuing warnings for ignoring moderator instructions. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/16 "2010-12-30T01:14:47Z")
Never take advice from the internet, even mine, since no-one ( prolly including the participants [eg: you and she] ) knows the truth about any given situation. Still, generally when something is over, and you’ve been rejected, walk away. Her decision has to be taken as final. If a love has to be fought for, it’s not true love. > [@nathaniel1994](#): > > …and that i dont listen Women always say this. It’s best not to listen when they do. > [@](#): > > …but honestly i listen to everything she says That sounds like fun. > [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > …but it’s one long sentence! Quite brilliant really… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/17 "2010-12-30T01:18:53Z")
> [@conurepete](#): > > Punctuate. Women love punctuation. ! So there. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/18 "2010-12-30T01:32:57Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **Mookie** , this is the last time I’m telling you to keep your pity/attention-seeking posts in your depression thread. If you do it again, I’ll start issuing warnings for ignoring moderator instructions. > > **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator I actually think that, for once, it was appropriate. Yeah, we could do without the “pitiful me” part, but he has a point: rather than being upset about the breakup, the OP be happy for the times you had together. As for my advice: the one surefire way not to get back with your EX is to constantly keep trying. When you break up, you have to give the wound time to heal. Go out, hang out with your friends, or even go looking for other girlfriends. When you are happy again, then you can evaluate whether you want to get back with your EX, and be realistic about the possibilities. Right now, the wound is too fresh. And the last thing you want to seem is desperate. Plus, by the time you’ve gotten yourself feeling better, you may realize that you don’t really want to get back with her in the first place. Heck, you may have found someone else who is better for you. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/19 "2010-12-30T01:35:42Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > ! > So there. but can you interroBANG\*\*‽\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-my-ex-back/565761/20 "2010-12-30T01:43:49Z")
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