# How Do I Get Rid of a Woodchuck? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 2, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209 "2004-07-02T13:52:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/1 "2004-07-02T13:52:27Z")
I am devastated…my garden has been destroyed! Pes: eaten to the ground…tomato plats: totally defoliated…cucumber vines…eaten…morning glory leaves…stripped off and eaten. The perpatrator is a large woodchuck, who lives in a neighbor’s yard. He digs under the chicken wire and stares at me…I’ve tried moth balls and red pepper flakes…even pegging rocks at him. This ground hog has ruined my garden…and it is too late to replant…what can I do? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/2 "2004-07-02T14:09:05Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15906](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15906) Salvation lies within. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/3 "2004-07-02T14:13:21Z")
What would Chuck Wood do? (WWCWD) Chuck Wood would chuck the woodchuck over the dam, that’s what Chuck Wood would do. Paid for by the Committee to Overuse Like Sounding Words. ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/4 "2004-07-02T14:14:03Z")
What can you do? In my experience, very little. I live along a golf course, and the woodchucks (a.k.a. groundhogs) are a permanent fixture in the neighborhood. They can burrow under just about any barrier you can imagine, and they don’t seem to be deterred by any sort of repellant substances. You have two choices. First, you can pretend that he’s a pet, and that you’re feeding him. Second, you can get a large have-a-heart trap, the kind that closes a door on the little devil without hurting him, then transport him many, many miles to someplace with a lot of large, open, grassy fields. One word of warning, from a neighbor of mine: once you’ve trapped him, put the trap in a big garbage bag before putting it in your car, unless you’re eager to clean out your trunk afterwards. A stressed-out woodchuck does not make for a fastidious traveling companion. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/5 "2004-07-02T14:14:52Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Pes: eaten to the ground… :eek: You can _grow Pes’s?_ How do they get them all the same shape so they fit into those goofy dispensers? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/6 "2004-07-02T14:21:58Z")
Ah, yes…the Nazi Groundhog thread. A deserved classic. As to how to get rid of him…shoot the bastard. ---
**Author:** ![justwannano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ab992/32.png) [@justwannano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justwannano)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/7 "2004-07-02T16:03:31Z")
Shoot him,get a good dog,or call a pest control specialist. Its also possible to trap them. Use a #3 or 4 foothold trap. When you catch him then shoot him. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/8 "2004-07-02T16:21:39Z")
Plenty of suggestions here: > **[Caddyshack (1980) - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080487/)** > > Caddyshack: Directed by Harold Ramis. With Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe. An exclusive golf course has to deal with a brash new member and a destructive dancing gopher. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/9 "2004-07-02T21:56:19Z")
I suggest a 1920’s Style Death Ray. A fine old American Tradition. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/10 "2004-07-02T22:08:48Z")
Ground ground hog hog. That is, catch him, dispatch him, and grind him up (ground ground hog.) Then take him to a pork farm and feed him to one of the porkers (ground ground hog hog.) ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/11 "2004-07-02T22:10:08Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > I suggest a 1920’s Style Death Ray. Actually, a [ZOT Gun](http://www.ofb.net/~jlm/oracle/oracle.460.05) would be [more appropriate](http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Internet%20Oracle). ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/12 "2004-07-03T07:17:14Z")
Easy. String him along for a few months with witty banter, lots of flirting and physical contact. Wait 'til his feelings cross the line from simple infatuation to actual love. Then tell him you just want to be friends. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/13 "2004-07-03T07:26:03Z")
I imagine that he would simply cease to be a problem after a while. I mean, seriously, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck??? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/14 "2004-07-03T13:19:31Z")
How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/15 "2004-07-03T15:34:19Z")
- - - If you can stand to pull a trigger then shooting it is the safest, fastest way. Get yourself a rifle in 22WMR or 17HMR, or if noise is an issue, get a 22LR rifle and use Aguila SSS ammunition–shoots a very heavy, long bullet at a rather slow speed, hits just as hard as usual but doesn’t make much noise out of a rifle. The SSS ammo kinda “lobs” because it goes so slow, so you need to take some practice shots and aim for the noggin. If you think the neighbor might be alarmed at the sight of this then you could inform them first. - If it’s illegal then… ummmm… -you do it from inside your house, out a window that looks out over the garden, so none of your neighbors will see you shooting. Try looking with your shootin iron at the ready during the early-morning hours. …And always remember: _there are many problems that violence won’t solve_. Fortunately, this isn’t one of them. ~ ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-a-woodchuck/253209/16 "2004-07-03T17:06:45Z")
Remember, too, that woodchucks are not solitary creatures. You may have to dispatch several of them.