# How do I get rid of an annoying roomate? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 27, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093 "2001-02-27T19:52:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![VanLandry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eb9ed0/32.png) [@VanLandry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanLandry)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/1 "2001-02-27T19:52:21Z")
I live in an Apt. in Boston with three other people(myself, two other guys, and one babe :D. Well, about a month ago the babe decided to move out ☹ and puts an ad online for a replacement. Well in moves the new guy(I’ll call him Flanders), and he is the most annoying, never shuts up, zero personality, person I’ve ever met. And my other roomates agree. He has signed the lease and I realize this is a huge part of it, but is there anyway we can legally force him to move out? According to a general lease contract, and if we get approval from the landlords, is there anything that we can do just on the basis that he’s annoying as all hell? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/2 "2001-02-27T20:15:51Z")
Why legally force when you can convince him to leave on his own? [500 Ways To Annoy Your Roommate](http://www.illuminated.co.uk/humour/roommate.html) Some selections: > [@](#): > > 42.Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter “Gotta save space,” twenty times while twitching violently. > > 175.Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, “Oh, she’s around here somewhere.” > > 228.Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, “We’ll continue this later,” while eyeing your roommate suspiciously. > > 246.Make pancakes every morning, but don’t eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your “pancake farm” isn’t evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes. > > 249.Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your roommate that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel. And there was also the standup comic who said he got rid of his roommate by standing in the door of roomie’s bedroom, naked, with an axe, muttering “Oh, MAN, this is gonna be sweet!” ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/3 "2001-02-27T20:28:07Z")
Since it is in everybody’s interest to try to get along, you might try just talking to him. Explain that some personality conflicts have arisen & make some suggestions as to what your new roommate might try doing to be less annoying (Note: for the actual conversation, find a better word for “annoying”). If he continues to be annoying, eventually you will all be thoroughly annoyed and then nobody will be able to live there, so it is in everybody’s interest to do some problem solving now. As long as your issues aren’t pet peeves, you stand a chance of coming to terms. However, if you are irritated because he cleans his ears with his car keys or hangs his panty hose on the shower curtain rod, I’d tell _you_ to get over it. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/4 "2001-02-27T20:39:08Z")
Arsenic has always worked for me. But if poisoning isn’t your thing, you can always go the “Be a jerk” route. Act like a total ass to him. Take his stuff, call him names for no reason, listen in on his phone calls, etc. And if neither of those work, try talking with him. You may find he’s not so bad. jb ---
**Author:** ![Scruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Scruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruff)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/5 "2001-02-27T21:03:10Z")
Well, if all else fails, [this place](http://www.bostonrentals.com/) will rent you an industrial size woodchipper to dispose of the body. But at least wait until the ground thaws first… :eek: Of course, I’m only kidding ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/6 "2001-02-27T21:27:07Z")
A good shovel and a bag of lime always worked for me… [sub][Foghorn Leghorn]That’s a joke, son. A joke, get it…?[/Foghorn Leghorn][/sub] Seriously, rather than forcing him out, maybe help him get a life. He may actually find someone and move out without any further action. Failing that, once he get’s a life, maybe he’ll have something to say. Or, If you’re _really_ feeling evil, put him in touch with an Armed Forces Recruiter or two. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/7 "2001-02-27T23:18:05Z")
Well, there’s three of you and one of him. Just have a whole lot of “group activities” and pointedly exclude him. Monopolize the TV, kitchen, and all the other common areas. Turn the bathroom into your new reading area and develop a secret knock w/ your other ‘good’ roomies. (Take turns standing watch.) Eat his food as soon as he buys it, even if it means inevitable bloating and weight gain. Alternatively, leave notes (again, rotate among your other good roomies) informing him that _insert name_ has stuck his penis in _bad roomie’s food item_. (Note: Be on the lookout for retribution in kind. Closely analyze consistency of cream cheese and mayo.) Have the locks changed for some legitimate sounding reason. Make three sets of keys. Do not (obviously) give one of these to the annoying guy. Use roommate’s towels to clean the bathroom and other common areas. Leave them on the floor when you’re done. In short, just live by the anti-golden rule: whatever you wouldn’t want done to you, do unto him. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/8 "2001-02-27T23:45:46Z")
ah, arent we all a bit funny today… Go fetch a book, Tenant’s Handbook, about $20 from your bookstore or online…It’ll give you your rights in situations like this. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-rid-of-an-annoying-roomate/56093/9 "2001-02-28T00:23:05Z")
ya know, everyone has overlooked the simplest and most obvious way to get rid of an annoying roommate. Move out. Move YOURSELF out. Go find a new apartment. You don’t have to do anything immoral or illegal to get away from an asshole roommate.