# How do I get someone to stop asking me about my weekends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 23, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928 "2013-08-23T00:50:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/21 "2013-08-23T02:52:56Z")
It’s just office small talk. Everyone knows I have a very long commute to work each day, and I always get asked about it. “So, are you still commuting from Ottawa?” “How was the drive today?” “I can’t believe you drive every day!” It goes on, and on, and on every day. These people mean well, and are just striking up a conversation. Your colleague is doing the same. No big whoop. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/22 "2013-08-23T02:54:26Z")
> [@OleOneEye](#): > > Okay, now I’m curious. Has she “escalated” with other people, that you know of? Also, “enemy”? You don’t want to explain your private life. What are you afraid she’ll do? She hasn’t, but I’ve known others who have, and she seems like the type. I’m not worried about anything serious. My greatest fear is that I will get into an undignified fight with her over petty nonsense. E.g. “you never do anything during the weekend” - _mind your business_ - “you’re mad because you don’t have any plans” - etc… It’s unprofessional and there is no way to come out of something like that looking good. > [@WhyNot](#): > > She doesn’t care what you did over your weekend. She wants you to ask her what she did over her weekend. I wish. She never has plans either. I think she just wants to go through the motions of a conversation, but doesn’t realize/care that she’s invading my privacy. > [@monstro](#): > > In order to keep from boring myself with the truth, often I make up lies. Not the kind of “funny” lies that a person would know are fake. But realistic lies involving trips to arts festivals and hook-ups with old friends from college and hiking adventures out in the wilderness somewhere. I figure that lying about shit that no one cares about anyway is completely harmless. I can’t lie to the coworkers who I actually like. And if I just lie to her and not everyone else, then it’ll look like I’m afraid of her opinion. My strategy right now is plausible deniability. I don’t talk about my weekend, and people can’t really tell if I have no plans, or if I have plans, but don’t really want to talk about them. > [@](#): > > The more you post, **Lakai** , the more I feel like you’re me and I’m you. I absolutely detest questions about my weekend plans. Or the post-mortem questions on Monday. I know that this is just harmless, well-intentioned chitter-chat, but it just feels incredibly nosy and unnatural to me. I don’t care what other people did over the weekend. So it’s really hard for me to figure out why anyone who be sincerely interested in mine. Well, I care about what some people do on their weekend. They are usually the ones that don’t insult me when I don’t want to talk about my weekends. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/23 "2013-08-23T02:56:55Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > “I’ll be minding my own business. You?” > > I’ve used this in real life. I wish I had the balls to say that. Instead: Do you have plans for the weekend? Sleeping late Saturday! How was your weekend? It was restful. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/24 "2013-08-23T02:56:59Z")
Well, what \*do \*you do on the weekends? You don’t just stare at the wall, right? Right? Come on, tell us. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/25 "2013-08-23T03:02:42Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > They are usually the ones that don’t insult me when I don’t want to talk about my weekends. You’re worried about looking good to someone who insults you? Can you cultivate “frosty” if you’re worried about being undignified? Or you could pretend to be so engrossed in your work that you didn’t even hear her come in. This only works if you can restrain yourself from looking up when you hear your name. I’ve done this one when I’m in the break room at work and someone wants to make chit chat and I don’t. They start talking to me from somewhere in my peripheral vision, and I just continue eating. If they continue, I just look up from my food, and say, “Oh, were you talking to me?” in a not very inviting tone. Then I go back to eating my lunch. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/26 "2013-08-23T03:05:23Z")
> [@OleOneEye](#): > > Or you could pretend to be so engrossed in your work that you didn’t even hear her come in. This only works if you can restrain yourself from looking up when you hear your name. I’ve done this one when I’m in the break room at work and someone wants to make chit chat and I don’t. They start talking to me from somewhere in my peripheral vision, and I just continue eating. If they continue, I just look up from my food, and say, “Oh, were you talking to me?” in a not very inviting tone. Then I go back to eating my lunch. I did this today. It works! ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/27 "2013-08-23T03:05:23Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > E.g. “you never do anything during the weekend” - _mind your business_ - “you’re mad because you don’t have any plans” - etc… And I wouldn’t even say, “mind your business”. What would happen if you just stared at her for a few seconds when she said, “You never do anything during the weekend”? ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/28 "2013-08-23T03:14:38Z")
Well, my plans involve various deviant sex practices. Care to learn more? ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/29 "2013-08-23T03:29:32Z")
> [@OleOneEye](#): > > You’re worried about looking good to someone who insults you? > > Can you cultivate “frosty” if you’re worried about being undignified? > > Or you could pretend to be so engrossed in your work that you didn’t even hear her come in. This only works if you can restrain yourself from looking up when you hear your name. I’ve done this one when I’m in the break room at work and someone wants to make chit chat and I don’t. They start talking to me from somewhere in my peripheral vision, and I just continue eating. If they continue, I just look up from my food, and say, “Oh, were you talking to me?” in a not very inviting tone. Then I go back to eating my lunch. “Frosty” won’t work for me. The goal isn’t to completely avoid her. My work life will be easier if I can rely her for favors. I want to stay friendly with her, but I don’t want her prying into my personal life. > [@OleOneEye](#): > > And I wouldn’t even say, “mind your business”. What would happen if you just stared at her for a few seconds when she said, “You never do anything during the weekend”? I’ve stared her down before. She once asked me if I “liked” another coworker who I was friends with. I told her she was being inappropriate. She agreed and apologized. This time the behavior seems less egregious. I don’t know if it warrants a stare down. ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/30 "2013-08-23T03:35:42Z")
I still like my idea of a humorous non reply. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/31 "2013-08-23T03:39:59Z")
“Same as every weekend: I’m putting on my rubber suit and going out to fight crime.” ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/32 "2013-08-23T03:54:50Z")
> [@Yorikke](#): > > Well, my plans involve various deviant sex practices. Care to learn more? Yep, “I do unspeakable things to myself with a hand mixer until the wee hours of the morning then sleep the sleep of the just surrounded by my anatomically correct sock puppets.” should do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/33 "2013-08-23T04:03:06Z")
I get asked by many, many people what I did / will do over the weekend. Generally it’s friendly, pointless smalltalk: a simple question anyone can ask of anyone. Sometimes it’s a person who’s excited about their plans for the weekend and is hoping you’ll say “…how about you?”. I don’t mean to threadshit but I just don’t see this as a big problem. She hasn’t been rude (yet). I’d probably just give a “meh”-like answer, while thinking about other things (or if I’m at my desk give a stock answer while continuing to work). ETA: Oh, and in terms of theories, if she often says she has no plans, perhaps she wants to meet up outside of work? You know, she wants to make friends, but is unusually bad at it. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/34 "2013-08-23T04:04:21Z")
Print up a calendar with “Lakai’s Weekend Plans” as the header. Then mark every weekend “Do nothing”. Hand it to her and say “Since we seem to do this every week, I thought you might find this handy. It also covers Monday morning’s conversation as well. I’ll let you know if something changes, so we can skip it from now on.” ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/35 "2013-08-23T04:09:57Z")
Can you get away with, “Oh, same thing I always do. You?” Contains no real information, sounds friendly, and deflects the question back on her. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/36 "2013-08-23T05:28:59Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > “Frosty” won’t work for me. The goal isn’t to completely avoid her. My work life will be easier if I can rely her for favors. I want to stay friendly with her, but I don’t want her prying into my personal life. Do you want to stay friendly or do you want to keep it strictly professional? It might be easier to rely on her for professional favors if you only talk to her about work-related matters. “Friendly” in the workplace is overrated. “Friendly” creates needless drama. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/37 "2013-08-23T05:38:38Z")
“I had an arms deal in Tangiers. Or a cake in the oven. I don’t remember which.” ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/38 "2013-08-23T05:50:39Z")
When someone asks a personal question, ask that person, “Why do you need to know?” ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/39 "2013-08-23T06:03:17Z")
I still don’t personally see it. “Get up to much over the weekend?” for me is at the level of “How are you?” or “Great weather we’re having right now”. It doesn’t _really_ cross the personal professional line because it’s just smalltalk. Saying “you never have any plans on the weekends” may or may not cross the line, depending on specifics. It may just be said because the person can’t think of any other comment. Just continuing the smalltalk a little longer. If they went on to say, “Don’t you have a partner? Or friends?” then clearly **that** would cross the line, and at _that_ point you should get mad, but there’s been no mention of anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928/40 "2013-08-23T06:10:32Z")
“No offense. But I like to keep my work life and my personal life separated.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-get-someone-to-stop-asking-me-about-my-weekends/666928.md?page=3)