How do I go about becoming a long-distance lorry driver?

Nope. Only just makes the top ten.

Which would pretty much get one out of Britain.
We need a song about chunneling one’s way to long-distance driving.

Yes, that would take you to France, and from France you can drive to other European countries. All the countries in Europe are reachable by vehicle. This means routes can easily be long distance.

“Old man lying by the side of the road
With the lorries rolling by,
Blue moon sinking from the weight of the load
And the buildings scrape the sky,”

Don’t let it bring you down - Neil Young