# How do I hate thee, let me count the ways **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2013, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239 "2013-11-19T06:49:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/1 "2013-11-19T06:49:18Z")
[I’ll start using my middle finger](http://static3.businessinsider.com/image/528806816bb3f70c5f31f502-960/middle-finger-statue-detroit.jpg). LOL. So some guy in Detroit is pissed that his wife has an affair and decides he’ll buy the house next to the one she lives in with her new beaux. But the fun doesn’t stop there. [He spends $7k on a statute of a huge hand with bird flipped and facing in the direction of the ex’s house (see first link above)](http://www.businessinsider.com/detroit-middle-finger-statue-2013-11). Cute. > [@](#): > > Alan Markovitz, 59, a well-known strip club owner in Detroit and soon-to-be reality television star on Cinemax, is still rather upset his wife apparently had an affair with someone he knew two years ago. > > So he decided to buy the house right next to the couple, and put up a giant middle finger statue aimed in their direction. Spotlights on the 12-foot-high bronze statue make sure it can be viewed at all hours, [according to](http://www.deadlinedetroit.com/articles/7248/bloomfield_hills_man_builds_giant_statue_to_flip_off_his_ex-wife?section_name=etcetera#.UogCEWQ4Xk9) Deadline Detroit. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/2 "2013-11-19T07:15:24Z")
How childish. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/3 "2013-11-19T07:33:17Z")
Shame, looks like rather a nice house. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/4 "2013-11-19T12:09:56Z")
Seriously? What an ass. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/5 "2013-11-19T13:45:16Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > How childish. No, this middle finger statue is serious business. Really. Don’t think of it as “I hate my ex and her lover so much that I have to spend thousands of dollars on a middle finger statue.” Think of it as “I need to promote my upcoming television show, so I’ll do something ridiculous and memorable like putting up a middle finger statue which will be photographed and picked up by the internet, so that millions of people know who I am.” Serious Business. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/6 "2013-11-19T13:50:37Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Seriously? What an ass. Exactly. The statue should have been mooning her. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/7 "2013-11-19T13:58:52Z")
Look at me. Look at me! I need attention. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/8 "2013-11-19T15:21:38Z")
My first impression was not favorable, but it kinda grew on me. Well played, Mr. Markovitz, well played. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/9 "2013-11-19T16:02:46Z")
This was my friend’s parents’ house! And this is just the tip of the iceberg with this guy. Apparently, he moved in the same day her folks moved out. They left something behind, and when they went back to get it, he was there with a crew of bagpipers, clowns on pogo sticks, and a TV crew. He gave them a copy of [his book](http://www.amazon.com/Topless-Prophet-Successful-Gentlemans-Entrepreneur/dp/0984085505). The [photo on the flap](http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/v2_article_large/public/2013/11/16/alan-markovitz.jpg) just kills me. She had already told me all of that, so when we heard about the statue a few days later, I nearly died. And it got picked up by the Daily Mail, and I was like, “Of course.” But now that I have independent confirmation for this story, I have to wonder whether some of their other articles might also be true. Hmm. > [@gracer](#): > > Shame, looks like rather a nice house. Seriously. It was an _awesome_ house. They custom-built it themselves and carefully chose everything, down to the smallest details. It’s a huge place, but all the rooms were perfectly proportioned to feel cozy. Even the front room with the dramatic two-story-high cathedral ceiling felt welcoming. Gorgeous hand-carved stone fireplaces, balconies, heated floors in the bathrooms, an elevator, even a secret passageway behind a hidden panel. Sigh. I hope Nutsy McAsshole appreciates it. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/10 "2013-11-19T16:36:38Z")
Sounds like a nice neighborhood. Makes me feel like I live in a shack. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/11 "2013-11-19T23:10:35Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > \ The [photo on the flap](http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/v2_article_large/public/2013/11/16/alan-markovitz.jpg) just kills me. She had already told me all of that, so when we heard about the statue a few days later, I nearly died. \ Oh, yeah! He is _exactly_ who he appears to be! You have to give credit to some people; they’re totally not afraid to be stereotypes. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/12 "2013-11-20T20:59:16Z")
Everyone needs a hobby. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/13 "2013-11-20T21:55:37Z")
Not wanting to see a escalation, but a carefully placed series of mirror reflecting it back into several of his windows, especially since it is lit up at night, would seem so fitting. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/14 "2013-11-20T22:08:40Z")
Somehow I get the feeling he might actually like that. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/674239/15 "2013-11-20T22:21:04Z")
Its always best to take the high road.