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- Chronos: Nope. They never had to train it, it’s just never tried. And it’s squirmed out the front door and run off across the neighborhood before. ~ He talked to people who already owned Danes and they said that a fence that high was too high for the dog to jump.
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- Homer: I have a co-corker who adopted a racing grayhound, and she said that it wouldn’t go up or down stairs for two years. - MC
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go to http://www.newgrounds.com for a look at a company that builds cybernetic implants for cats. Pictures are included (and funny, in a disturbed kinda way)
What you need to do is give your cat some exercise. I have a 9 year old female that weighs about 16 pounds. She has no trouble at all climbing, though mostly she just leaps up onto things. Of course, we have two other cats with which she interacts, so that is how she stays in shape.
As for your cat, you want to give it a good workout. You will have to be ready to make certain sacrifices on your part for this exercise to work.
Give the cat a bath. You will quickly discover the hidden strength that your cat posesses as soon as you attempt to place him in the water. The sacrifices you will have to make are on the lines of skin, blood, eyesight, feeling in your hands, things like that. Also, your cat will avoid you for the next day or two, but given time he will come around.
Try this 2 or 3 times a week for a few weeks, and you will have one of two things. Either an incredibly fleet and stealthy cat, or a very clean one. Either way you win.
Put your cat’s food on a ledge. He’ll figure out a way to get up there.
hack…, hack yowza…, almost brought up a hairball on that one!
I’ve always found that if you attach little pads of velcro to your cats front paws and let him amble - oh so carefree - on the shag carpet, you get the gravity equivalent of a small black hole working on those little footsies.
Plus, it loosens up all that lint that you couldn’t get to with the vacuum…
Opus, your cat’s name isn’t Bill, is it???
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Now that’s funny. The image little Scruffy tromping thru the shag with the added resistance is wonderful. But what if all you’ve got is hardwoods?
Then you cover all four paws with little bits of chamois, coated with Murphy’s Oil Soap. He’s still as weak as ever…, but just look at that shine!
Your pear-shape kitty is actually not unique (though, granted, it isn’t a shape you see very often). We have a pear-shape kitty, and until recently we had a second one. Usually these cats are long-haired, basically mongrel kitties with some Persian in their background. With their unusual body shape, these cats often have the ability to become what we call “flat cats” – in other words, they can lie on their stomachs and instead of entering “meatloaf position,” they flatten themselves to the floor in an amazing way for a cat with such a big butt!
As for buffing up your kitty, you are fighting nature if you try and give him a lot more upper-body strenth. Just put an intermediate shelf or two on the scratching post, so that he can jump from one shelf to another until he reaches the top. You’ll both be happier.
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*Originally posted by pfranckly *
Now that’s funny. The image little Scruffy tromping thru the shag with the added resistance is wonderful. But what if all you’ve got is hardwoods?
Superglue…
Suction cups – et voila, one gecko cat. Then it can climb the walls instead.
How about some sort of cybernetic implants on kitty’s front legs? This goes back to Arnold Schwarzenkitty, like someone mentioned before.
The dogs in the neighborhood tremble in fear…the ground shakes…because…around the corner walks:
[I}The Meowinator.*
Oh, come on, you know you want a cyborg cat. Put some sort of laser on its head while you’re at it. It’ll be able to open its own cat food.
Also, feel free to pretend I can use vB code worth a damn.