# How do I look after my goatie? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954 "2005-08-14T11:58:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/1 "2005-08-14T11:58:10Z")
Right then, I’m 23 and I’ve got a few weeks off from work so I decided to see what I would look like with a little goatie beard. A few people whose fashion opinions I pay attention to say they liked it so I decided to keep it for a while longer. My only problem is I have no idea how I’m supposed to look after it! I don’t want to leave it to get all scraggly and long, so how am I supposed to keep it a short length? I have some hair clippers but they’re obviously too big, is there some kind of beard clipper that will do the job? Tuco. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/2 "2005-08-14T12:05:21Z")
It’s **goatee**. :: wanders off muttering about goats :: ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/3 "2005-08-14T12:10:45Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > :: wanders off muttering about goats :: ::Scott’s head explodes:: Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young! ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/4 "2005-08-14T13:24:19Z")
> [@Tuco](#): > > …with a little goatie beard. I think Jesus may have had a goatie. 🙂 > [@Tuco](#): > > …is there some kind of beard clipper that will do the job? Personal Groomers? [http://www.remington-products.com/usa/products/grooming/pg.html](http://www.remington-products.com/usa/products/grooming/pg.html) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/5 "2005-08-14T14:18:23Z")
[This](http://www.mytscstore.com/detail.asp?pcID=8&paID=1039&sonID=234&page=4&productID=14916) and [lessons](http://www.gotfarmanimalsonline.com/boer-goat/south-african-boer-goat/boer-goat-grooming.shtml) will help keep your goatie nice and neat. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/6 "2005-08-14T18:58:53Z")
First, go get a soda straw… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/7 "2005-08-14T19:19:21Z")
> [@](#): > > How do I look after my goatie? I don’t know. How did you look before? ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/8 "2005-08-14T19:28:10Z")
Get rid of it NOW. Or else people like me (i.e. me) will keep saying “Oi, mate: you’ve missed a bit!”. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/9 "2005-08-14T19:32:49Z")
I literally pulled my mental file on goat raising (which I did for years) and came in. I do wear a goat **ee** sometimes though. I would advise growing a full beard, then when thick enough trimming it with a battery operated trimmer, cleanshaving cheeks and under chin, and sculpting it into shape with a Mach 3. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/10 "2005-08-14T19:47:48Z")
I’m searching my memory, trying to think of somebody, anybody, who looks better with a goatee than he would either clean-shaven or with a full beard. Maybe Walter Pidgeon. I’d recommending not doing it unless you have a long, lean face. ---
**Author:** ![Barely\_Adequate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58956e/32.png) [@Barely\_Adequate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barely_Adequate)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/11 "2005-08-14T20:29:18Z")
Goatees are wonderful for concealing a weak chin, thus having the added benefit of making it easier to change pillow-cases… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/12 "2005-08-14T20:32:04Z")
They just seem so last decade. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/13 "2005-08-14T20:46:25Z")
How to care for a goatsie? ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/14 "2005-08-14T21:09:41Z")
Reminds me of a joke I read in Playboy when I was a lad: Seems a young man has gone off to college and grown a goatee, and sent home a photo with the caption: “I look like a count, no?” His father harrumphed and said, “Send him to college and he still can’t spell.” Thanks. I’ll be here all week. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/15 "2005-08-15T03:47:28Z")
Speaking of goatee jokes, wasn’t it an episode of **Absolutely Fabulous** where they were talking about some famous older lady, and Patsy or Eddy said about the older lady, “One more facelift and she’ll have a beard”? ---
**Author:** ![Updike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@Updike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Updike)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/16 "2005-08-15T03:52:28Z")
> [@Tuco](#): > > Right then, I’m 23 and I’ve got a few weeks off from work so I decided to see what I would look like with a little goatie beard. A few people whose fashion opinions I pay attention to say they liked it so I decided to keep it for a while longer. > > My only problem is I have no idea how I’m supposed to look after it! I don’t want to leave it to get all scraggly and long, so how am I supposed to keep it a short length? I have some hair clippers but they’re obviously too big, is there some kind of beard clipper that will do the job? > > Tuco. I think you should try teaching your “goatie” to spell, for starters. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/17 "2005-08-15T04:39:45Z")
> [@Tuco](#): > > My only problem is I have no idea how I’m supposed to look after it! I don’t want to leave it to get all scraggly and long, so how am I supposed to keep it a short length? I have some hair clippers but they’re obviously too big, is there some kind of beard clipper that will do the job? There are millions of electric razors with little attachments that allow you to trim the hair. > [@Baldwin](#): > > I’m searching my memory, trying to think of somebody, anybody, who looks better with a goatee than he would either clean-shaven or with a full beard. Hi. ---
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/18 "2005-08-15T10:21:36Z")
Thanks for some of the replies, after reading the responses and having a quick check round the net I have a few more questions- Is there a difference betwen the £5 beard trimmers and the £25 versions? It does seem a big difference. Any makes I should look out for? I have a set of Remington hair clippers and I’m not overly impressed (they sometimes don’t cut, sometimes do which is fun when you have cut half your head) To the people who say I shouldn’t have a goaty - I’m trying to look a bit older as people still treat me like a kid, [here](http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/3259/tuco6qq.jpg) is a pic of me to help you decide, though I now have shorter hair and smaller glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/19 "2005-08-15T14:45:50Z")
> [@Tuco](#): > > \To the people who say I shouldn’t have a **goaty** - I’m trying to look a bit older as people still treat me like a kid\ {Bolding mine.} Now you’re just messing with us. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954/20 "2005-08-15T14:55:33Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > {Bolding mine.} > Now you’re just messing with us. Yeah… look, we have rules. Spell the thing right or you don’t get to keep it. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-look-after-my-goatie/316954.md?page=2)