# How do I make new friends?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-make-new-friends/233840>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 12, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-make-new-friends/233840 "2004-03-12T03:37:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![alphaFemale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@alphaFemale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaFemale)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-make-new-friends/233840/61 "2004-03-16T18:46:19Z")

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> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#):
>
> Maybe I’m supposed to be a 45 year old male.

I feel the same way! Probably why I tend to date way older than me.

Aside from paralyzing shyness, I’ve been told more than once that I give off a _Do Not Approach_ vibe. An unconcious defense mechanism I suppose. I have maybe two friends, one whom I consider a good friend and have known for ten years, and another with whom I converse seldom and see even less.

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**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-make-new-friends/233840/62 "2004-03-17T05:59:03Z")

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I have two ideas that nobody’s suggested yet. Great thread everybody, by the way.

1. Advertise. In our local free weekly’s personals there’s a section called “Just Friends”. It’s people looking for friends. There are usually only 2 or 3, mostly women. If you can find such a category you could put in an ad, or answer somebody else’s

2.Give a regular party.

I have a friend who is an interesting, but slightly awkward, odd guy. He had a party just about every month. It was nothing flashy, nor particularly drunken. It was usually the same food, and his apartment usually looked pretty bachelor-guy messy.

This regular party made it really easy for him to offer something low-key to a new aquaintance…“Hey, by the way, there’s a little party at my place, Tuesday, why don’t you come?” This made it possible to create a “circle of friends” out of a mish mash of acquaintances from work at several different places, school, and other interests.

I was really impressed by his approach. It may seem like a lot of work (indeed I have been meaning to use this method myself and not gotten around to it), but once he’d done it a few times, he just had a routine.

This is how he got to know the woman who became his wife!

good luck to you **Tell** , and all the rest of us too!

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