# How do I masturbate with a shower head? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307 "2001-06-02T06:01:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/21 "2001-06-02T22:15:34Z")
And the best part is, when you are through, you are already cleaned up. My SO, in a fit of jealous rage, removed my beloved shower head, and installed one of those “rain” shower heads instead. Bummer. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/22 "2001-06-02T23:02:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I put it on pulsating, which makes the most sense, but I’m really unsure as to where to aim it. > > Are you serious? :eek: > > If you haven’t yet figured out your body enough to know where to touch to make yourself come then I suggest you experiment in less compilicated ways and save the shower head until you at least know “where to aim”. \*\* Allright, so I’ve figure where to aim it. I can get myself off fairly well with just my hands, but maybe the water pressure in my neck of the woods is too weak, because I get absolutely nothing out of it. I figured maybe I was supposed to use it in a more general way, rather than just concentrating on my clit. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/23 "2001-06-02T23:13:25Z")
_LMAO_ Yeah, I don’t know if you’d want to be taking masturbation advice from **Spoofe** unless you want to draw blood. An exgf would leave the handheld on regular spray, not pulse, spread herself with one hand and let the needles of water walk back and forth across the little man in the boat. Don’t ask me why I share… _L_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/24 "2001-06-02T23:50:02Z")
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never figured out the appeal of the showerhead. Just seems like a waste of water to me…but then, I’ve heard of girls who haven’t figured out how to amuse themselves without playing in the shower, too. ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/25 "2001-06-03T01:29:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \* > \*\*And, although it may be pleasureable for some, do not make the mistake of shooting three gallons of water up your ass. > > \*\* For the benefit of the doubt, let’s just say, don’t aim three gallons of ANYTHING into your ass. That really should be in a homeowner’s manual. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/26 "2001-06-03T03:00:25Z")
-tries to regain breath after fits of laughter- I’m just glad no one has suggested forgoing the detachable shower head. A little acrobatic, hm? That could be kinda neat…Oh, and those itty bitty stand-up-room-only showers could be a little crammed for space. Big tubs are there for a reason, you know. (Ok, maybe not for this, but hell…) Oh, and \*\* Manservant Hecubus\*\*– And \*\* three gallons \*\*? What kind of water pressure do \* YOU \* have? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/27 "2001-06-03T04:06:07Z")
Merc, remember that we have a Dopefest coming up in two weeks… I’m not the kind to hold grudges, but damn, boy, I can hold my rage until then… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/28 "2001-06-03T04:13:30Z")
As long as you aren’t holding the toothpaste, SPOOFE… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@Shmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmoo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/29 "2001-06-03T04:39:02Z")
Bigguys thread Almost dissuaded me from making this post, but Myself got in the way of me(whew, close one). Ok-am I really admitting to this? here goes… I prefer the bath faucet to the removable showerhead. A bit awkward,(blushblush) but eliminates the need to focus on aiming. Kegal(sp?) excersises enhance, as well as moving the pelvis around a bit. Also, belly breathing whilst… taking the water is fairly mind blowing. Let all air out & slowly taking a breath blowing up firstly the abdominal area & work up to collarbone area & hold as long as possible & slowly exhale. Definately adds to the experience. Do I sound a bit too knowledgeable on this? Perhaps. But a single girl’s gotta do what a single girl’s gotta do! I’m feeling a bit grimy…must be getting, er, going now. is this worth a welcome?(please be worth a welcome!) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/30 "2001-06-03T05:44:13Z")
Okay, Odieman’s next on The List… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/31 "2001-06-03T05:58:39Z")
3 out of 4 dentists, SPOOFE… ---
**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/32 "2001-06-03T06:25:21Z")
I kinda actually found that instead of a massage head to the glans of the penis, the regular shower setting or the fine shower setting on the shower head pointed up to the under-side of the testes feels pretty good… not quite orgasmic, but still, very damned good. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/33 "2001-06-03T06:31:02Z")
Shmoo… let me be the first to welcome you!!! WELCOME SHMOO!!! **takes you by the arm** …now for that personal demonstration you promised… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/34 "2001-06-03T07:06:51Z")
_Shower Massage ™_ makes this new product called “The Flexible” that “stay’s where you put it”. Mount it down low, or install one of those sliding bar thingies, so you can position it just right. Leaves your hands free. At least that’s what I’ve heard. 😉 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/35 "2001-06-03T07:43:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Allright, so I’ve figure where to aim it. I can get myself off fairly well with just my hands, but maybe the water pressure in my neck of the woods is too weak, because I get absolutely nothing out of it. I figured maybe I was supposed to use it in a more general way, rather than just concentrating on my clit. Whew! You had me worried there for a moment. I was thinking that I was going to have to mail you a diagram or map or something. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/36 "2001-06-03T07:53:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shmoo \* > \*\* is this worth a welcome?(please be worth a welcome!) \*\* **Shmoo** , I cannot describe how welcome you are. And may I humbly say, “How **YOU** Doin’?” I have GREAT water pressure, and some other goodies if you like! ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/37 "2001-06-03T08:14:11Z")
> [@](#): > > let the needles of water walk back and forth across the little man in the boat. **Whammo** , you’re so colorful! Almost poetic! Does it seem like **Shmoo** and **SPOOFE** are long lost…er, destined to be togther? ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/38 "2001-06-03T09:15:09Z")
Milo says: > [@](#): > > Oh, I don’t know, SPOOFE. My first ejaculatory experience was age 14. Shower at Aunt and Uncle’s house. > > “Hey, they have a Shower-Massage head … and it’s detachable …” > > A few minutes later, cue the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with the Hallelujah Chorus. Silo says: Well my first ejaculatory experience was when I was 9 or 10 years old… in a bathtub. I was playing with a bottle (yah, I liked to play with toys in the tub :)) and by some bizzare stroke of genius I decided to put my “pee-pee” inside it. So, I lifted it up and down a few times (being the _clever_ boy I was) and felt a sensation: Ooooooo[sub]OOOO[/sub] :eek: :o (!) :o &#%$@ - that felt ga-ga _GOOOOD!_ But see - as I got older I played with my weenie _more_. And more. And **MORE**. And then I got some peach fuzz 'round my weenie and I was da man… well, ya know because… _I_ had “peach fuzz” ‘round _my_ weenie. Then ::in deeper voice now:: I came to an epiphany! - I can stick my weenie in girls’ “hoo hoos” and make them go “wooo!!” ::deeper voice yet:: Then I got a little older and went blind **x)** No, but seriously - the female population will never be quite the same again. 😉 nyuck nyuck nyuck. Oh, yeah. _Anyways_… _taking a sip of ‘warm’ water_ ::so who needs a showerhead?:: 😛 _SPLORT_ ---
**Author:** ![RicoLaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@RicoLaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RicoLaser)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/39 "2001-06-03T09:20:10Z")
Shmoo, from one newcomer to another, “Welcome.” I gotta say, your first post was WAY cooler than mine. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307/40 "2001-06-03T09:21:31Z")
Silo, I think it’s time to stop drinking and posting and go to bed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-masturbate-with-a-shower-head/67307.md?page=3)