How do I "pause" my windchimes?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Alright, here’s what you do: This is more dealing with the Cold and Snowy vs. the whole Laziness aspect

Go grab a coupla can of spray-on deodorant, then come back with either a lighter or a Matchbox, and some sort of tool that you can use to hold latter devices at an arm’s distance away from you.
Then light match and spray away melting all said snow, until the path to the windchimes is nice and toasty. If its still too cold for you, keep spraying! Keep doing this until you get all the way to the wind chime.
Make sure to put out any residual fires that may be in the way.
Then when you feel the pathway is warm enough for you, go ahead and walk over to the chimes and then… I dunno, take them down or something.

-It may not be the easiest way if you’re lazy, but come on, it sounds pretty damn cool enough that you’d want to get off your ass and try it, doesn’t it?

If not, try PLAN B:
Get some cologne (or some other similar liquid. IF you can’t find anything like that- get some kerosene) and a water gun. And the lighter and said device to keep them away from you again.

  1. Fill water gun up w. cologne or whatever flammable liquids.
  2. Go to your doorway, and lighter, and then shoot the liquid thru the lighter, setting it on fire, and try to aim for the Rope holding up the lighter. You have to burn the Rope! That’s the key to stop the evil windchimes.
    That’ll show 'em who’s boss!
    Is that better, QED?
22

Not bad. But, it lacks a certain MacGyver-esque quality I feel we should be shooting for.

23

Well… you could i suppose Spray some tennis balls with the aerosol and then use a slingshot device to fling them outwards at the windchimes, or you could use flaming rubber bands and create a launching device out of paper clips, but come on now. Let’s be REASONABLE here…
My above way is the safest and *practical *way to take down those chimes. Any other method would just be silly and trying too hard.

24

You may be right. Taking them down is MUCH too simple a solution when a more complicated one is available. Paging Mr. Goldberg, Mr. R. Goldberg…

25

Hmmm. I’m up in Andover. For a fee, I could come down and take them down for you!

26

In that case we’ll need some duct tape, a paper clip and a straw.

27

Nuke em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure

28

I’m thinking bolas made from tube socks. You should be able to wrap the whole thing up easily from six feet.

29

Wait, wait, wait. You all are assuming the poor OP wants to go outside. I fear this is not the case!

We need trained marmosets. Quick, somebody pick up a half-dozen or so, and ship them here. I will train them in the art of wind-chime dismantling. (A team is so much more fun than one marmoset, and that way we have backups)

We need to get them south from here - anyone have a hang-glider available?

30

Order pizza for delivery. When the dood shows up, tell him there’s an extra 5 in the tip if he brings you the bones of said chime.

31

Best suggestion yet. Even better: call your girlfriend to come over and pick up a pizza on the way. Then you don’t have to tip.

32

Wait… have you tried the remote?

33

I know you were joking, but that would be an awesome idea.

34

Sticky stuff on tennis balls? Silly string? Hello! This clearly calls for an industrial electromagnet. Duct tape the electromagnet to the wall that’s closest to the chimes, and flip the switch. You can install it more permanently later for a long-term solution.

And yes, remote control is possible – how about a clapper?!