It doesn’t even make sense, but I got a fit of the giggles at the thought of “an anus of assholes.” 
I can’t even begin to explain how big their assholes are. :eek:
Anus is just Latin for “ring.” “A ring of assholes.”
“What a bunch of assholes”
This gets my vote! It’s perfect for when you start a sentence with “I can’t even explain how…” but then suddenly realize that you’re referring to a gaggle of assholes rather than just a singular asshole. This is a much better solution than awkwardly backpedaling and constructing a new sentence.
pfft… assholes.
Pluralizing has to give you “assholes” and “they are”.
“I can’t even explain how much” is an idiom. It’s an intensifying preamble. It doesn’t mean that you couldn’t explain. Just as “What do you think you’re doing?” really means “You’re doing something incredibly stupid and I’m about to tell you how wrong you are.”
You can bump it up by adding a “begin” - “I can’t even begin to explain how . . .”
If using “how much” as an intensifyer doesn’t seem to fit with “assholes they are”, you just need to find another intensifyer.
If it’s a situation where you can’t say “I can’t even begin to explain what fuckting assholes they are,” then FloatyGimpy nailed it with "I can’t even [begin to] explain what a bunch of assholes they are. "
You can get creative with synonyms for “bunch”, too. “Steaming cluster” is a possibility. “Fetid, festering clutch” has a certain ring to it.
Sunspace’s “I can’t even explain how much of an asshole each one of them is” also works, and can be intensified with “each and every one. . .”
“So there I was, at an anus convention…”
I can’t explain what assholes they are.
I can’t even begin to explain why the word “asshole” has lost all meaning to me.
With this anus I thee wed. :eek:
One anus to rule them all.
You have to be careful using those interchangeably, however. It can make jewelry shopping a bit awkward.
“Excuse me ma’am, you seem to have about the same anus size as my girlfriend…”
singular: One asshole.
plural: 10 asswholes.
I can now easily explain what an asshole he is by comparing him to the assholes with whom he is currently assholing with.
I can’t even explain how very assholey they all are. You know, those assholier than thou types.
Pretty much says it.
The SDMB - where overthinking extends to diagramming sentences about assholes™…
It’s taking longer than we thought.
I think it’s necessary to maintain the integrity of the “explain how much” clause. Forget about assholes for a second. What if you just wanted to explain how all the objects in a collective are very much characteristic of something? What if you wanted to say that Iberians are very genetically German (or whatever)? You couldn’t say they were a bunch of Germans, as that would imply some sort of collective property. You want to single out each person individually. Thus:
I wonder how German each Iberian is.
“Each” is the key here. It splits everyone out individually while still saying that they have the same property. So if we apply this structure to the sentence in question, we get:
I can’t explain how much of an asshole each one of them is.
Now you don’t have the problem of implying that they all bunch up and become assholes together. I mean, you could say that, but it’s a different connotation than what the OP asked for, I think.
:D!!!
This board really needs a “Like” button.
So many assholes, so little time.