# How do I respond to this coworker's email . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 21, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249 "2004-04-21T17:53:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249/41 "2004-04-22T13:47:57Z")
It’s probably too late for advice, but I’ll throw it in anyway. Email apology with the date and time of return listed as _before_ the complaining email. Don’t bother giving her any more ammunition to scream about, it’s not worth your trouble. Now… I want to find out what Kaitlin actually wrote back. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kaitlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249/42 "2004-04-22T14:06:22Z")
. . . but lots of work at work and computer troubles at home kept me away 'til this morning. Just for clarification, the book was returned within the grace period, and there were no fines. I assumed she was notified automatically by email about the book, though it hadn’t occured to me that she might have tried to check anything else out. While it’s unlikely, since she was working on data entry at the time, it’s still a possibility. Not sure about the library’s policy on that. The coworker stepped out of the office for a time yesterday and at one point instant messaged another coworker, who works in the same office that I do, in order to ask me if I’d returned the book. I simply said “Yes” and left it at that. After that, I’m not sure it’s even worth it to say anything else besides a simple apology, though I will certainly put careful thought into the suggestions leveled here. Normally coworker and I get along pretty well, although we’ve had problems in the past–which we’ve solved with minimal fuss. I think I’m going to try not to take it personally and chalk it up to her having a bad day that was compounded by my mistake. By the way, I’m _extremely_ grateful for all the suggestions, and I got a good chuckle out of some of them. It made me feel a lot better and get some perspective on the situation. And, I will never turn a library book in two days late again. ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249/43 "2004-04-22T19:34:12Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#): > > I know this is rather petty, but I don’t like other people “screwing up” my reputation, I am quite able to do that myself. What I mean is, I don’t want any repercussions from YOUR actions on MY reputation. > > e.g. > Can I borrow your car? > Sure. > … a month later I get a letter from the cops saying I didn’t pay my parking ticket … Not that the OP did NOTHING wrong by returning the book late, but this situation is a far cry from a parking ticket… the two are basically incomparable. One will land on your driving record for God knows how long, the other will not have such dire consequences. Further, there was no harm, no foul here since the book was returned within a grace period. If the lady really feels that her reputation has been sullied in the last, she can just not let people borrow her library card next time. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249/44 "2004-04-22T19:54:37Z")
> [@Kaitlin](#): > > The coworker stepped out of the office for a time yesterday and at one point instant messaged another coworker, who works in the same office that I do, in order to ask me if I’d returned the book. I simply said “Yes” and left it at that. After that, I’m not sure it’s even worth it to say anything else besides a simple apology, though I will certainly put careful thought into the suggestions leveled here. Wait, the email wasn’t enough, she roped **someone else** into this mess? Sounds like she’s trying to set you up as an irresponsible twit. But on the upside, it just makes her look bad if a copy of her email comes out. > [@Kaitlin](#): > > Normally coworker and I get along pretty well, although we’ve had problems in the past–which we’ve solved with minimal fuss. I think I’m going to try not to take it personally and chalk it up to her having a bad day that was compounded by my mistake. Mmm … sounds like this person is a real pain. After our unfortunate time with our abusive pissy co-workers, we realised we all sounded like people who’d just gotten out of a long term abusive relationship. I think the term “boiled like a frog” was a bit of a more PC way to put it. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249/45 "2004-04-23T00:16:42Z")
A simple (sincere) apology would be in order. You’re right to feel it wasn’t the best email in the world but that doesn’t mean you should toss an email hand grenade back… Companies permanently store emails and you don’t want your name attached to anything negative. If I had to guess it came from an older person who is compulsive about deadlines. The letter from the library was a personal insult to her integrity just as if someone called her a deadbeat. It seems silly to most people today but it would have been a big deal years ago. Take the high ground and let it go (that means you don’t tease her about it). It will be your good deed for the day. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249/46 "2004-04-23T02:28:53Z")
Now, if she’d have sent and audio file instead, of Phillip Baker Hall as Bookman the Library Cop, that would have been cool! “Maybe that’s how you get your kicks, huh Seinfield?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-respond-to-this-coworkers-email/241249.md?page=2)