# How do I schmooze the Jews? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2014, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555 "2014-01-12T03:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/21 "2014-01-12T16:06:29Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > About the not-shaking hands: what, then, is an acceptable greeting? A salute? A bow? Just say hello and smile. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Thank you. Thank you, thank you , thank you. > > I think kosher whiskey and chocolate is the way, which I was leaning that way anyway. Brilliant idea to bring it Friday morning so that they may take it home and share it amongst friends and fily over the weekend. Yesss! You might not be able to find whiskey specifically marked kosher. Wine must be marked kosher because of the prohibition about using wine that’s been used in other religion’s religious ceremonies (kosher wine is certified to not have been). Spirits don’t have that precaution. I think that part if the reason spirits are so popular- you didn’t have to worry about it. Someone more up to date can correct me, but that’s my memory, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/22 "2014-01-12T16:12:09Z")
For the record, I want to clarify… I didn’t ask him WHY he wouldn’t shake my hand. I asked him if there was anything else I should know, after he mumbled something about not shaking my hand for religious reasons. Eta: thanks, Ivory, I was wondering about that. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/23 "2014-01-12T16:16:01Z")
The not-shaking-hands is cross-gendered: a male can shake hands with another male, a female with another female, but not male/female. Instead of handshake, greet with a sincere smile and a head nod. My understanding is that this varies a little bit amongst different Orthodox sects, so-called “modern Orthodox” don’t care about the hand-shaking. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/24 "2014-01-12T16:17:58Z")
Ah - thank you all. I didn’t grok to the cross-gender aspect. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/25 "2014-01-12T16:22:57Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > First of all, learn what the word schmooze means and how to use it. > > Only assholes use it as transitive. Is there a Jewish term for calling someone who makes an an innocent language mistake an “asshole”? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/26 "2014-01-12T16:43:39Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > JYou might not be able to find whiskey specifically marked kosher. Wine must be marked kosher because of the prohibition about using wine that’s been used in other religion’s religious ceremonies (kosher wine is certified to not have been). Spirits don’t have that precaution. I think that part if the reason spirits are so popular- you didn’t have to worry about it. > > Someone more up to date can correct me, but that’s my memory, at least. [Kosher whisky, liqueur and chocolate list](http://www.kosherliquorlist.com/), and the [Star-K Kosher list.](http://www.star-k.com/cons-appr-liquor.htm) ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/27 "2014-01-12T16:57:51Z")
Cool- thanks. Back in the day, it was hard to find even kosher wine beyond Manichevitz. My parents didn’t bother trying to find kosher spirits, but we weren’t neatly as observant as some. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/28 "2014-01-12T17:17:01Z")
Or if you are dealing with the RIGHT Orthodox Jews, [offer to help kidnap a man](http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/10/10/fbi-raids-rockland-county-yeshiva-other-jewish-locations-in-tri-state/) who refuses to divorce his wife and torment him into doing so! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/29 "2014-01-12T17:36:15Z")
If there is a Jewish bakery near you, you can’t go wrong with a nice challah or honey cake or mandel bread. And who - kosher or not - wouldn’t appreciate a nice chunk of halvah? ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/30 "2014-01-12T17:42:38Z")
Get yourself up to [Judaica](http://www.yelp.com/biz/west-side-judaica-new-york) and talk to the sales staff. Explain your situation and ask them what they carry that would be a respectful token in your price range. My husband is Jewish and when we got married we went there for our Ketubah even though it was more expensive than buying one online because we wanted to talk to someone, see what it would look like, etc. and we were thrilled with the final result. I can’t recommend them highly enough! ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/31 "2014-01-12T17:44:59Z")
Thanks so much, everybody. This thread has been priceless to me! Pbbth, that sounds like a perfect idea ---
**Author:** ![Happyasaclam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7c8e57/32.png) [@Happyasaclam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happyasaclam)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/32 "2014-01-12T18:01:45Z")
Lots of great advice here Nzinga. I think a judaica store is in your future. If you have a kosher market near you visit during holidays. When I visited Israel I stocked up on decorative one of a kind Shabbat candles to give to my women Jewish friends. Women in particular enjoy Ahava beauty products. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/33 "2014-01-12T18:02:23Z")
I don’t know, IMHO trying to gift Judaica is a minefield even if you are Jewish yourself; like trying to gift lingerie, it’s very personal and depends on taste. My brother & SIL have Judaica items that I think are absolutely hideous - I don’t go in for modernist styles and they do. And anything they need and want, they’re extremely likely to already own. _Yay, a fifth chanukkiah, just what I needed._. Chocolate and wine, always safe bets. A vacuum sealed side of salmon or other smoked fish wouldn’t go wrong, assuming its certified kosher of course. If you were dead set on durable goods vs. consumables, maybe a set of wine glasses. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/34 "2014-01-12T18:13:21Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I don’t know, IMHO trying to gift Judaica is a minefield even if you are Jewish yourself; like trying to gift lingerie, it’s very personal and depends on taste. My brother & SIL have Judaica items that I think are absolutely hideous - I don’t go in for modernist styles and they do. And anything they need and want, they’re extremely likely to already own. _Yay, a fifth chanukkiah, just what I needed._. > > Chocolate and wine, always safe bets. A vacuum sealed side of salmon or other smoked fish wouldn’t go wrong, assuming its certified kosher of course. If you were dead set on durable goods vs. consumables, maybe a set of wine glasses. I agree- I think Judaica for a business associate would be a risky choice. Try not to define the Orthodox Jews you’re working with as business partners by their religion. I thinks it’s fine to be respectful of religious restrictions and try to find something that works within those limits, but would you give any other business associate a religious item? Most nice business-appropriate gifts, that if it’s food is kosher, would be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/35 "2014-01-12T18:13:40Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Is there a Jewish term for calling someone who makes an an innocent language mistake an “asshole”? Nah, who cares. I would rather be curtly corrected that left in ignorance. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > [Kosher whisky, liqueur and chocolate list](http://www.kosherliquorlist.com/), and the [Star-K Kosher list.](http://www.star-k.com/cons-appr-liquor.htm) Thank you for these links. > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > …Chocolate and wine, always safe bets. A vacuum sealed side of salmon or other smoked fish wouldn’t go wrong, assuming its certified kosher of course. If you were dead set on durable goods vs. consumables, maybe a set of wine glasses. Yeah, chocolate and whiskey is definitely going to be my go to, but I LOVE the idea of nice wine glasses for those special clients and secretaries that I am really trying to get in good with. I actually am trying to repair some relationships that were damaged in the past, too, so this is a sticky situation. I appreciate all of the great advice so much. The job I am doing now has been more of a challenge than ANYTHING I have ever done, and I knew I could count on you guys for some help. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/36 "2014-01-12T18:13:42Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Is there a Jewish term for calling someone who makes an an innocent language mistake an “asshole”? One day you’ll get a sense of humor, Czarcasm. One day… ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/37 "2014-01-12T18:16:36Z")
I think I didn’t understand what a Judaica is. Going to go look at the link. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/38 "2014-01-12T18:17:00Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Nah, who cares. I would rather be curtly corrected that left in ignorance. > > Yeah, chocolate and whiskey is definitely going to be my go to, but I LOVE the idea of nice wine glasses for those special clients and secretaries that I am really trying to get in good with. I actually am trying to repair some relationships that were damaged in the past, too, so this is a sticky situation. Not to tell you your business, but have you had a frank conversation with these associates to see what went wrong? It may have nothing to do with religious insensitivity. Even if it did go sour because of some religious faux pas, and even if it didn’t for that matter, trying to give a “Jewishy” gift may come off as equally patronizing (not that I think that’s what you’re trying to do at all!!!). They may just want their religion to be a non-issue, beyond general cultural sensitivity (like not offering to shake hands etc). ETA: Look at this! A link for Kosher Busines GIfts: [http://www.kosherline.com/business-gifts.html](http://www.kosherline.com/business-gifts.html) and another: [http://www.koshergiftbox.com/Top-10-Corporate-Gifts/products/692/](http://www.koshergiftbox.com/Top-10-Corporate-Gifts/products/692/) Maybe that’ll give you some ideas??? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/39 "2014-01-12T18:24:20Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Is there a Jewish term for calling someone who makes an an innocent language mistake an “asshole”? Well, for the person who calls someone an “asshole” for making an innocent language mistake, I’d use “putz”. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/40 "2014-01-12T18:24:38Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I think I didn’t understand what a Judaica is. Going to go look at the link. Its a category of goods which meaning roughly “Jewish items” – generally referring to household ceremonial items and learned texts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555.md?page=3)