# How do I schmooze the Jews? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2014, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555 "2014-01-12T03:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/61 "2014-01-15T02:59:53Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > Assholes make comments like the above. 🙂 What’s the deal with Orthodox kosher wine? I converted Conservative, and wine is considered to be kosher by virtue of being wine, according to my textbook, Rabbi Teluskin’s _Jewish Literacy_. He mentions that some Orthodox insist that kosher wine grapes be grown by Jews, and the wine made by Jews, (I would probably not count ☹ ) but I did not know that having the bottled product handled by goyim would make it not kosher. I understand that wine was used in sacrifices, but how pervasive is this? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/62 "2014-01-15T03:21:20Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > 🙂 You know what I like about you? All of your posts have smiley faces in them. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/63 "2014-01-15T03:48:32Z")
Speaking of keeping in mind particular holidays … Purim begins this year the evening of March 15th. Some Orthodox Jews take seriously the commandment to get drunk on Purim. A decent [kosher Scotch](http://www.kosherliquorlist.com/index.php?cPath=3_188) the week before might be appreciated. Laproaig is kosher, who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/64 "2014-01-15T04:00:03Z")
So, I have decided on the perfect gift. A very pricey set of lambskin[leather tefillin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tefillin) for them to put their sacred prayer scrolls in. Oooh, I can just imagine the looks on their faces. I will be in like Flynn! I’m kidding, guys, I’m kidding! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/65 "2014-01-15T04:04:06Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > So, I have decided on the perfect gift. A very pricey set of lambskin[leather tefillin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tefillin) for them to put their sacred prayer scrolls in. Oooh, I can just imagine the looks on their faces. I will be in like Flynn! > I’m kidding, guys, I’m kidding! I think we need to talk again… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/66 "2014-01-15T04:06:37Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Speaking of keeping in mind particular holidays … Purim begins this year the evening of March 15th. Some Orthodox Jews take seriously the commandment to get drunk on Purim. I need more Jewish friends apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/67 "2014-01-15T04:39:46Z")
Wait a minute … WE’RE supposed to schmooze the Jews? I thought THEY were supposed to schmooze US! I don’t even know HOW to schmooze! Is it anything like schtupping? I heard that’s fun! ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555/68 "2014-01-15T05:20:34Z")
Not gonna lie, Evil Captor…schtupping sounds fun as hell. Ivory, my last post was just for you. Was gonna name you, but I didn’t know if you were cool with me or not. I’m a little drunk tonight and can’t trust my own judgment. And I don’t even know if this tequila is kosher. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-schmooze-the-jews/678555.md?page=3)