# How do I stop my nephew responding, "I know" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 4, 2012, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946 "2012-12-04T09:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/41 "2012-12-04T20:33:22Z")
> [@Rack-a-Bones](#): > > I’m with the others who think it is most likely a “ya, whatever” reply typical of kids that age. Or “Stop bothering me.” That’s how I used it when I was that age. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/42 "2012-12-04T21:37:21Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Or you could try saying it in tandem with him. (No commentary, strictly humour!) The better you get at predicting and nailing it the funnier it will get. > > You get to make your point and nobody gets bent. I like this one too. I really think annoying him about it by gentle teasing is the way to go. You could also try: Uncle Q: _cool fact_ Nephew: “I know…” Uncle Q: “Know what?” Nephew: “Y’know… that stuff you just said…” Uncle Q: “What did I say that you already know?” Nephew: _repeats what you said_ Uncle Q: “Yeah, I know” _in same tone of voice_ Some of these Dopers need to lighten up a little about the behaviour. Teasing will sort it without giving him some huge smack down over a non-issue. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/43 "2012-12-04T21:42:21Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > I like this one too. I really think annoying him about it by gentle teasing is the way to go. > > You could also try: > Uncle Q: _cool fact_ > Nephew: “I know…” > Uncle Q: “Know what?” > Nephew: “Y’know… that stuff you just said…” > Uncle Q: “What did I say that you already know?” > Nephew: _repeats what you said_ > Uncle Q: “Yeah, I know” _in same tone of voice_ > Some of these Dopers need to lighten up a little about the behaviour. Teasing will sort it without giving him some huge smack down over a non-issue. Teasing is a form of bullying, dontcha know? 😃 Please don’t reply by stating “I know.” Thank You. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/44 "2012-12-04T21:45:18Z")
I did not know that. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/45 "2012-12-04T21:57:48Z")
My 8-year old stepson does this. “I know” seems to be shorthand for “I am not listening to a word that you’re saying”. Here’s an actual example from the other weekend when we went for a hike. Valgard: “Careful running on that bridge, it’s muddy and slippery and I don’t want you to fall.” Stepson: “I know!” Slip, fall, wham. Stepson: (Cries and grabs bruised shin) Valgard: (After making sure there is no massive loss of blood, protruding bone, etc) “OK, do you see why I asked you to be careful?” Stepson: “Yes” Valgard: “Why?” (await suitable explanation so that I know this was in fact a learning moment, even though the half-life of such knowledge is about 10 minutes) ---
**Author:** ![solosam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@solosam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solosam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/46 "2012-12-04T22:01:00Z")
I love how so many of these suggestions involve operant conditioning. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/47 "2012-12-04T22:03:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I like that. A good way to frame it is that you don’t like being disrespected. It’s your problem, therefore you are setting your own boundaries. Trying to educate him to be respectful to everyone sounds like a bad and inappropriate response. This is exactly what I’ve been thinking as I read the thread. It may be presumptuous and pompous for an uncle/aunt to try to educate a kid on proper manners, but everyone has the right to set out the boundaries of their interactions with others. If you feel someone is giving a rude, dismissive response, what’s wrong with saying, “When you respond like that, I feel like you’re being rude and dismissive.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/48 "2012-12-04T22:13:11Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Has he recently watched Empire Strikes Back? Maybe he’s just telling you he loves you. As you wish. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/49 "2012-12-04T22:19:22Z")
At a wild guess, this is more of an emotional response, probably meaning something like “OK then” not a literal statement of fact, so I’d suggest just telling him what you want him to do, and only resorting to sarcasm if he doesn’t respond to that. If you’re constantly sarcastic about it but he doesn’t understand why he shouldn’t say that, he may get the message “uncle is sarcastic” not “uncle wants me to stop saying that”. (Presumably it’s more important not what he says, but whether he actually imbibes the conversation, but that may be a step further :)) ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/50 "2012-12-05T01:17:56Z")
I’m not seeing the disrespect, to be honest. When my 10yr old friend says it, I get the feeling she’s disappointed to be micromanaged. It’s a way for her to say, “I do not need direction any more, I am growing up!” Yes, even when she _does_ need direction. So I began prefacing my remarks with, “I’m aware you likely already know this, but I feel compelled to mention…” At least the response was slightly delayed and filled out to, “I actually did know that!” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/51 "2012-12-05T01:54:30Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Yep, best advice in this thread. Give the snark right back. > Or slap him. It may not stop the snark, but it does make you feel better\* > > \*sort of just kidding Well, that’s it then. All that R&D on a surgically implanted high voltage capacitor device that charges from zero to full from static electricity & discharges during very specific vocal commands _just shot right to Hell…_ I even had a catchy name for it: Mother’s Little Helper… ---
**Author:** ![OurLordPeace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e8c25b/32.png) [@OurLordPeace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OurLordPeace)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/52 "2012-12-05T06:54:49Z")
Regarding that line in _The Empire Strikes Back_, people laugh at it, but director Irvin Kershner has explained it pretty well. They had to do many takes with opportunities for improvisation, Harrison Ford was weary, and out it came. Kershner liked it because it works; saying “I love you too” puts one at a disadvantage of sorts, rather than solemnly and/or happily acknowledging said love. It always made sense to me. And yes, please don’t let him say “like” constantly. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/53 "2012-12-05T07:09:47Z")
If people keep saying “I know” to what I’m saying, I’m either repeating things or saying things unnecessarily. I pull back and ask the questions. If they renege or fail on an “I know” issue, I demand payback: “I thought you knew this?” “I would think two reminders would have been enough.” ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/54 "2012-12-05T09:27:32Z")
Way to go **the\_diego**. Demand that payback from a ten-year-old! Harass the little bugger! Pit your wits against him! **Quartz** , do you talk with your nephew about things _he’s_ curious about, or stuff you think he _should_ be interested in, or things that are very interesting to you? ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/55 "2012-12-05T10:14:31Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > **Quartz** , do you talk with your nephew about things _he’s_ curious about, Absolutely. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/56 "2012-12-05T14:09:00Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Way to go **the\_diego**. Demand that payback from a ten-year-old! Harass the little bugger! Pit your wits against him! > > **Quartz** , do you talk with your nephew about things _he’s_ curious about, or stuff you think he _should_ be interested in, or things that are very interesting to you? It doesn’t matter. By ten years old, a child should be learning that their family members are not clowns and dancing monkeys to be considered as long as they are entertaining and dismissed when they grow dull. There are polite, socially acceptable ways to redirect a conversation that you are not particularly interested in, and teaching these things is exactly what adults are for. That said, it does depend on how close the uncle is. My uncle was very close, and more like a big brother. I’d see him every day and he was definitely in charge of teaching me manners. A more distant uncle might be differen. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946/57 "2012-12-05T15:24:11Z")
> [@OurLordPeace](#): > > Regarding that line in _The Empire Strikes Back_, people laugh at it, but director Irvin Kershner has explained it pretty well. They had to do many takes with opportunities for improvisation, Harrison Ford was weary, and out it came. Kershner liked it because it works; saying “I love you too” puts one at a disadvantage of sorts, rather than solemnly and/or happily acknowledging said love. > > It always made sense to me. > > . . . Well, if by “it works” you mean “it makes the female members of the audience want to flay your so-called hero” then yes indeed it does. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-stop-my-nephew-responding-i-know/642946.md?page=2)