# How do I tactfully tell guests not to poop in my toilet? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 23, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527 "2010-03-23T20:50:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/21 "2010-03-23T23:12:19Z")
I suggest a sign… [http://images0.cafepress.com/product/264141720v4\_225x225\_Front.jpg](http://images0.cafepress.com/product/264141720v4_225x225_Front.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/22 "2010-03-23T23:16:56Z")
Pass a copy of your OP to each guest as they arrive and be sure to highlite the part where you mention clogging your own toilet each week… Pretty sure that would do the trick!!! 😉 But seriously, a note on the door saying that this particular toilet is a no-go would be just fine, everyone would understand and be fine using the other two toilets. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/23 "2010-03-24T00:15:57Z")
A previous post may help. [Here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=324485&highlight=shat+cookie) ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/24 "2010-03-24T00:51:38Z")
> [@mudkicker](#): > > You don’t! I think she said that another one would be available. Unless I mis-read that. Hah, Cicero, I immediately thought of that thread too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/25 "2010-03-24T01:05:09Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Blocking the toilet is not normal, regardless of your BMI You haven’t seen the size of her BMI’s, though. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/26 "2010-03-24T01:14:25Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > A previous post may help. > > [Here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=324485&highlight=shat+cookie) I love your search terms. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/27 "2010-03-24T01:24:29Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > I suggest a sign… > > [http://images0.cafepress.com/product/264141720v4\_225x225\_Front.jpg](http://images0.cafepress.com/product/264141720v4_225x225_Front.jpg) And that’s exactly why I warned against illustrations. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/28 "2010-03-24T01:47:26Z")
Heh. I immediately thought of that thread too. I was thinking “Oh no! Not another one!” I was quite relieved (ha!) to see that it wasn’t the same type of issue. Well, in honor of **Shat on Cookie** , perhaps you should put up a sign that says: **No Taking a Dump and/or Whacking Off You can die of human waste implosion for all I care** ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/29 "2010-03-24T01:52:51Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > I love your search terms. 😃 Ooops- caught out 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/30 "2010-03-24T01:57:43Z")
I don’t think you can tactfully explain this. If it’s in a bathroom and flushes and has a seat, anyone and everyone will think they can use it for dumps. It’s what a toilet is for. For the same reason, trying to hint via requests not to throw in sanitary napkins or Kleenex would be pointless, since these are often posted in public restrooms with no intention of discouraging people from using the toilet for both of its primary intended purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/31 "2010-03-24T02:12:26Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > A previous post may help. > > [Here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=324485&highlight=shat+cookie) Oh, that was lovely, wasn’t it? “How dare those lower life forms use MY royal throne! The utter nerve! I haven’t been able to move off my fainting couch for two days now!” Good times, good times. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/32 "2010-03-24T03:04:41Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You haven’t seen the size of her BMI’s, though. I thought those were BMII’s. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/33 "2010-03-24T03:14:19Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Oh, that was lovely, wasn’t it? “How dare those lower life forms use MY royal throne! The utter nerve! I haven’t been able to move off my fainting couch for two days now!” Good times, good times. 😃 That was the last thread she ever posted in, too. Unless she changed her username due to the ridicule. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/34 "2010-03-24T03:21:48Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > I don’t mind people peeing in my toilet, but nervous about people pooping in it. I’m not open-minded to cleaning up about 4 pounds of shit and water from my bathroom floor, if my toilet stops up and overflows. > > So, what should I say? 😕 If someone has to shit they have to shit. Where, besides the toilet, should the deposit be left? :eek: Seriously, your toilet - even an old toilet - shouldn’t be THAT easy to clog. Realistically, though, you can’t really STOP guests from shitting if they have to shit. You might wish to post a sign saying something like “Old plumbing - please flush early and often and take care not to clog anything”. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/35 "2010-03-24T03:26:59Z")
“Anything over 10 pounds lower by ropes”. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/36 "2010-03-24T03:40:00Z")
At least your guests aren’t wiping themselves with the hand towels. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/37 "2010-03-24T03:43:26Z")
Are you only worried about people using the one bathroom or do you not want them dumping in any of them? If it’s just the one either put a lock on that door so you don’t have to worry about it or close the lid, set the plunger on top of it and put an “out of order” sign on it and most likely no one will touch it. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/38 "2010-03-24T03:48:01Z")
Remember this sickening sign? > [@](#): > > If you sprinkle > while you tinkle, > be a sweetie > wipe the seaty! Hang one that says this. > [@](#): > > Be a sweety > only pee pee, > or I’ll hit you > with the seaty! ---
**Author:** ![ponzicar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@ponzicar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponzicar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/39 "2010-03-24T04:21:33Z")
You don’t have to say anything, just remove the toilet seat. Direct anyone who finds the bathroom unusable in this state to the other bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527/40 "2010-03-24T04:31:57Z")
In practical terms, your best option would be to have a plumber snake your toilet pipe before the party. Just consider it part of your party planning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tactfully-tell-guests-not-to-poop-in-my-toilet/533527.md?page=3)