# How do I tell if a woman is a lesbian? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489 "2001-11-15T07:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/1 "2001-11-15T07:04:53Z")
I didn’t think this belonged in GQ so I’m asking here. if this isn’t the appro forum I trust it will be moved. Here is the scenario There is a woman at a place that I frequent that seems to always be physically close to other women. We hung out together one night, and I thought that she liked me, but guys there are telling me she is a lesbian. I don’t want to just ask her because I’d be uncomfortable doing that ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/2 "2001-11-15T07:08:44Z")
She has her face in another girl’s crotch at that very moment. And even then she could just be bi. Seriously, there really is no way to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/3 "2001-11-15T08:11:43Z")
Tell her you’re going out to get some fast food, and ask if she’d rather have a hot dog or a taco. With apologies to Dana Carvey. ---
**Author:** ![Niobium\_Knight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc8723/32.png) [@Niobium\_Knight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Niobium_Knight)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/4 "2001-11-15T10:03:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Genseric \* > \*\*Tell her you’re going out to get some fast food, and ask if she’d rather have a hot dog or a taco. > > With apologies to Dana Carvey. \*\* lmao! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/5 "2001-11-15T10:49:53Z")
Some guys think a woman is lesbian if they refuse to have sex with them or show no interest in them. Needless to say, some guys don’t have both oars in the water. Ask her out. If she doesn’t swing from that side of the plate, she’ll probably tell you. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/6 "2001-11-15T13:01:49Z")
Aye there is thge rub, we have gone to a concert together and I think she may be intrested in me, but others there say otherwise ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/7 "2001-11-15T13:19:19Z")
See, there’s this process called “talking…” ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/8 "2001-11-15T14:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MannyL \* > \*\*Aye there is thge rub, we have gone to a concert together and I think she may be intrested in me, but others there say otherwise \*\* Sooo…is it important what others think, or what she thinks on the matter? Treat her just like any woman you’re interested in…if things work out the results will be the same, if not, she’ll tell you if its because she’s not into guys, or if there are other reasons. Ask her out. Make sure there’s no question you intend for it to be a date. “Would you like to have dinner” is a really good way to do this… ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/9 "2001-11-15T15:19:55Z")
Ethilrist… Hee Hee!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/10 "2001-11-15T15:30:50Z")
How to tell if a woman is a lesbian… Hell, I wish I knew - and I _am_ a lesbian. It is hard to tell with some women. I’ve been told that most people don’t guess that I am a lesbian. It gets hard when people don’t fit certain sterotyped images. I don’t mind flirting with guys - but they all know that I’m gay before I do that. I’d just ask her out. If she says no, well, what has realy changed? If she says yes, kudos to you. If she says no and says that she’s gay…well, hell, you can’t take that personally. Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/11 "2001-11-15T15:34:28Z")
Ask her if she wants to come over to watch football and drink bad beer. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/12 "2001-11-15T15:58:03Z")
Well, if she’s wearing her sandwich board and ringing her bell, it’s a dead give-away. My vote goes for asking her out. Just be prepared for “Well, it’ll just be a friend date. I’m gay.” And then you can both go out together and hit on the wimmins. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/13 "2001-11-15T16:03:17Z")
Jokes aside, I would have to agree with spooje on this one. If she wants you to know she be sure to tell you when the time is right. As they have done for me. A couple of times for me it’s like this, ‘Oh Cy, I’m a lesbian!’ Me: 'So am I." BTW: Lots of straight women I know like the companionship/closeness of women. Do you think a a person who likes to hug/kiss/touch their pooch makes them a, oh never mind. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/14 "2001-11-15T16:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MannyL \* > \*\*Aye there is the rub \*\* Well, WHERE does she rub? That should be a clue…🙂 Kilt/Spooje are right. Make it clear it’s a date, and see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/15 "2001-11-15T17:28:09Z")
Thanks for the advice, I’m going to have to wait for her to get back from her trip.It’s going to be 3 long weeks ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/16 "2001-11-15T17:40:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > **As they have done for me. A couple of times for me it’s like this, ‘Oh Cy, I’m a lesbian!’ Me: 'So am I."** So when’s the operation, Handy? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/17 "2001-11-15T20:38:44Z")
Sometimes it’s a lot easier to tell than others. If she’s got rainbow stickers all over the place, that’s a somewhat good sign. Otherwise, talking is the best way. If she trusts you she’ll be honest about it. I really wish that there were a usniversal standard way to tell someone was a lesbian. It would make my life easier. Like maybe if we all wore striped socks or something. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/18 "2001-11-15T20:48:25Z")
Well if she introduces you to “Mary, the only person I’ve ever loved” that’d be a good clue… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/19 "2001-11-16T00:16:19Z")
“I really wish that there were a usniversal standard way to tell someone was a lesbian. It would make my life easier. Like maybe if we all wore striped socks or something.” Yeah, or maybe a red, white, brown,Etc. hanky in the back pocket 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489/20 "2001-11-16T00:33:43Z")
I used to live across the road from 2 lesbians that I worked with. Not knowing that they were lesbians I invited one out. We had lots in common and went out a few times. When I made my move[sup]TM[/sup] she just laughed and told me the facts of life. I think we didn’t go out any more, but I still used to visit them and hang out at their place. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-if-a-woman-is-a-lesbian/93489.md?page=2)