# How do I tell my narcissistic mother I don't want her to move to where I live? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2020, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422 "2020-09-24T15:31:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/81 "2020-10-25T00:57:47Z")
Holy shit, thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/82 "2020-10-25T02:10:01Z")
You’re welcome, I love finding cool stuff on the internet! And gaslighting is so pernicious and SO pervasive. It’s practically a way of life in every level of American society, I swear. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/83 "2020-10-25T02:15:46Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > You’re welcome, I love finding cool stuff on the internet! And gaslighting is so pernicious and SO pervasive. It’s practically a way of life in every level of American society, I swear.  No, it isn’t. You’re just confused again.   😀 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/84 "2020-10-25T03:32:05Z")
Ohhh, this was so my mother. I’ve been taking a little trip down memory lane (as I tend to do this time of year) and sometimes I forget how utterly unhinged she was when I was a child. She lives in a constant state of delusion now about the past. I think it’s the only way she can cope with the present. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/85 "2020-10-25T20:47:41Z")
Excellent! Would you please post a link so I can bookmark that and share it with others who need it? One small thing I’d add to #3: They also try to turn _you_ against others in your support system. Isolating people from their support system is a tactic I saw often when I worked for a domestic violence program: abusers would subtly start distancing partners from friends and family by criticizing them, e.g., “I can’t believe you like George when he’s always using that critical tone toward you.” And it’s not just to remove someone from support; it’s to remove them from people who can corroborate reality. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/86 "2020-10-25T20:57:19Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > And it’s not just to remove someone from support; _ **it’s to remove them from people who can corroborate reality.** _ [my bolding] very, very critical to realize this! ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/87 "2020-10-25T21:21:43Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > Excellent! Would you please post a link so I can bookmark that and share it with others who need it? Click on the graphic and it will take you to the direct link page for the pic. Or right click and “copy link location” or however your browser puts it. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2020, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/88 "2020-10-26T00:01:09Z")
“I do not want you to move near to where I live” should do it. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2020, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422/89 "2020-10-26T06:29:30Z")
Don’t leave any wiggle room: “Do not move to my country” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-my-narcissistic-mother-i-dont-want-her-to-move-to-where-i-live/921422.md?page=4)