# How do I tell someone to buzz off without being a jerk about it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370 "2011-05-18T21:01:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/21 "2011-05-19T17:36:25Z")
See, I’m with the contingent that would already have escalated to vulgarities and yelling. “I was wondering what the status of my resu…” “Eat a dick.” “What? I just…” “In fact, eat a whole bag of dicks.” “How dare y…” “THEY’RE GOOD FOR YOU.” _click_ ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/22 "2011-05-19T17:39:05Z")
double post ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/23 "2011-05-19T17:40:06Z")
Why do you answer her calls?:smack: Ignore her. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/24 "2011-05-19T18:03:15Z")
Pass the buck. Who’s the person responsible for hiring? Give her her/his name. Then say, call her and ask. It has the benefit of getting her off your back AND most importantly since she is such a pain, H/R won’t hire her for sure ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/25 "2011-05-19T18:05:21Z")
I emailed her and told her that her information has been passed on and that if they have a position for her they will call her. I also said that I have done all I can for her and wished her luck in her job search. So far she hasn’t emailed or called me again so it seems like she gets it. If she calls back I’ll give that “eat a bag of dicks” thing a try though.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/26 "2011-05-19T18:20:08Z")
“Buzz off, and don’t be a jerk about it.” ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/27 "2011-05-19T18:52:50Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Pass the buck. Who’s the person responsible for hiring? Give her her/his name. Now that’s just mean. What has the person in HR (or pbbth’s supervisor) done to deserve this treatment? The final email was perfect, you passed it on, you’ve done all you can, good luck. If she calls back, just repeat it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/28 "2011-05-19T19:07:56Z")
Like others have said, you should never have let it get this far. Definitely shouldn’t have agreed to pass on her resume. But now that we’re that far… Don’t pass the buck. Every adult should learn how to say no politely but firmly; it’s one of life’s vital skills. I value Miss Manners a lot. People think she’s stuffy and old fashioned but that is so not true. She teaches wonderful polite ways to say no to people. I like this: “I don’t think you would be a good fit here and I can’t in good conscience recommend you for a position here. Please stop contacting me in hopes of getting a job with my company. Have a nice day.” But I would cut it even shorter to be this: “I’m sorry, I don’t think you would be a good fit here. Please stop contacting me in hopes of getting a job with my company. Have a nice day.” Or this “I’ve spoken to my HR director and while they have your resume on file, they don’t think you would be a good fit here. Please stop contacting me in hopes of getting a job with my company. Have a nice day.” When she asks you for your HR director, your HR director is busy all of the time. And stop shooting the shit with her. And I have NO freakin qualms telling people I simply cannot take their resume any other way but the online navigators. Do you make hiring decisions? Why is it even an issue? Just say “The HR department has a stipulation that they only take resumes through their online website.” When she says YOU take it, and how she can’t do it, say, “I’m so sorry. But I’m afraid that’s the only way. Can you get someone to help you?” When she says “YOU help me” you say, “I’m sorry, that’s against company policy.” When she whines, say “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” You always remain polite and pleasant but the answer is still no, no, no. Just say it over and over again. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I can’t help you.” Lay it down and keep laying it down and don’t bend for a second. Be nice, smile, but be short and don’t chat overmuch. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/29 "2011-05-19T19:18:43Z")
The resume needs to go through online especially if taking resumes through the online navigator is part of the hoop-jumping process to make sure that all applicants can actually operate a computer and follow instructions (which, as it happens, this person CANNOT do). I hope she got the message, **pbbth.** Fingers crossed! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370/30 "2011-05-19T19:20:57Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The resume needs to go through online especially if taking resumes through the online navigator is part of the hoop-jumping process to make sure that all applicants can actually operate a computer and follow instructions (which, as it happens, this person CANNOT do). > > I hope she got the message, **pbbth.** Fingers crossed! Yes. And while I hate these hoops, this is when they are useful - to weed out people that cannot navigate their way out of a paper bag. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-someone-to-buzz-off-without-being-a-jerk-about-it/582370.md?page=1)