# How do I tell that someones acting is 'wooden?' **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 20, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846 "2003-01-20T19:57:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846/61 "2003-06-28T13:39:11Z")
Though close to the antithesis of wooden acting (in his case it was called “underplaying”) Robert Mitchum said something that might be applied to the notion of wooden acting. I’ll have to paraphrase, but it was like: “I have three expressions: looking left, looking right, and looking straight ahead.” Another thing he said (again paraphrased) about acting in general was something like: “I belong to the Bogart school of acting: say your lines and don’t bump into the furniture.” ---
**Author:** ![Sassafras\_Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Sassafras\_Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassafras_Kid)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846/62 "2003-06-28T14:00:59Z")
Wooden 101: Any sports star on Saturday Night Live ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846/63 "2003-06-28T17:41:49Z")
Terrence Stamp was being _dignified_ and understated, not wooden. 🙂 Now, wooden in comparison to Guy Pearce, that I’ll grant. But talk about chewing through scenery…! You had those two extremes and then Hugo Weaving in the middle, actually being a normal human being. Always makes me giggle, though…when I first saw The Matrix, I kept imagining Agent Smith in a spangly dress. And when I saw Fellowship of the Ring, I kept giggling when I saw Elrond. “Hobbits…are a virus.” “Mr…Underhill…it seems…you have been living two lives. In one life, you are Frodo Baggins, hobbit playboy…” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846/64 "2003-06-28T17:46:59Z")
Oh yeah, and a second on Pitt in IWTV. “Brad, your job in this movie is to stand around and look pretty. We’re going to let Tom Cruise act circles around you, so we can take some attention off his horrendous dye job.” Now, he did look VERY pretty, mind you…but his acting was seven kinds of poo in that movie. Talk about stilted. “I am sad. I am angsty. You can’t tell by how I speak, but my dialogue should give you a few hints. Look at me. I am sad. And pretty. Pretty and sad. And these teeth hurt.” Watching Tom “Fangy” Cruise froth at the mouth was funny, though. If you look reeeeal close, during one of those scenes, he drips a bit of spit. Hee. yeah, so I watched that movie a few times in high school. like about 20 in its first year. I’m not proud. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846/65 "2003-06-28T19:00:11Z")
YO! Fairblue! Want to pop over to the Mad Max thread( where I have been chastised for saying Mel Gibson only pays Mel Gibson) and voice that opinion about Hamlet… 😃 How about Richard Gere in “Pretty Woman” that was pretty damned wooden… ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846/66 "2003-06-28T19:11:16Z")
True Fact: Richard Gere’s contracts include a standard stipulation that the studio has to pay at least $5,000 in woodpecker prevention for every day Gere is on the set. Also, that gerbil wasn’t about sex, the poor thing was just trying to build a nest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-tell-that-someones-acting-is-wooden/149846.md?page=3)