# How Do Kids of Gay Parents Address Them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819 "2013-07-29T15:28:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/1 "2013-07-29T15:28:39Z")
Like, if you have two dads, but need the attention of one specifically, do you say “Dad Jeff!” to get Jeff’s attention or “Dad Carl!” to get the other one’s attention? Or if you have two moms, and you’re talking to a third person about one of them, do you say “Mom Kate…” and “Mom Beth…” ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/2 "2013-07-29T15:31:54Z")
I have heard some kids have different names for each - for instance, one would be “dad” and the other would be “poppa” (papa?) - or one would be “mom” and the other “mama”. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/3 "2013-07-29T15:32:30Z")
It’s handled by each family individually. I suspect the most common, and the method I will probably take if I ever have kids, is to use two different forms: Ma and mom or dad and daddy. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/4 "2013-07-29T15:34:28Z")
I would suspect that the answers are as varied as the families you’re talking about. Some clues might come from the ways that people deal with multiple living grandparents and options could include: 1. Different names, Mama, mom, etc 2. Mama Lynn, Mama Cass 3. Both! Mama Lynn, Mom Cass 4. others to be discovered. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/5 "2013-07-29T15:51:13Z")
My friends are “Mummy Name” and “Mummy Name”. But the kid can’t talk yet and he may end up naming them himself. My kids call their grandparents “Granny and Grampa” as we taught them but my elder niece called them NitNit and Papa and it stuck and passed to the younger niece too. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/6 "2013-07-29T16:01:28Z")
In all the families I’ve seen personally, the kid just says dad or mom, and if the wrong one responds it’s like, “No, the other one!” But mostly it works. I’ll start paying better attention though. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/7 "2013-07-29T16:08:42Z")
I imagine it’s pretty similar to families where both sets of grandparents are around a lot (so, lots of different answers). For me, I had “grandma” and “gram.” ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/8 "2013-07-29T16:24:17Z")
One couple I know, it’s Mommy and Mutti. It helps that Mutti is actually German. Another couple decided to go with Daddy and Papa. But the little girl insists on Daddy and Daddy. What are you going do, right? Daddy and Daddy it is. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/9 "2013-07-29T16:26:36Z")
My sister’s family has “Mom Fran” and “Mother Mary.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/10 "2013-07-29T16:47:06Z")
Guess we know which one is responsible for going to the kid in times of trouble, mm? And, yeah, even straight couples have lots of different options (Mom and Dad, Mother and Father, Mamma and Papa, Mom and Pop, Ma and Pa, Ma and Da, Mommy and Daddy, etc), so there’s plenty of options to draw from even before appending the parents’ first names, or borrowing from another language (another possibility I’ve never seen personally, but have heard of). ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/11 "2013-07-29T16:57:24Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > My sister’s family has “Mom Fran” and “Mother Mary.” I assume the latter is the one that’s planning on coming to them in times of trouble? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/12 "2013-07-29T17:15:36Z")
Let it be, guys, let it be. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Made_French_Toast_For_You)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/13 "2013-07-29T17:39:04Z")
I’m fond of the plural form I’ve heard used. Instead of “Mom and Dad went to the store” it’s “Moms went to the store/Dads went to the store.” “Dad and Papa went to the store” works too. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/14 "2013-07-29T18:31:02Z")
I’ve heard of several families headed by two gay men, where one parent is called Papa and the other Daddy. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/15 "2013-07-29T18:57:15Z")
I’ll be fine with whatever my child wants to call me and my (hopefully one day) husband. Dad is my personal favorite (it’s what I call my father). But if my child wants to call me Drew, I’m cool with that too :D, haha. Uh oh. Does that make me a hippy? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/16 "2013-07-29T19:06:50Z")
Our kid just calls us “meow”. But then, that’s about all he says. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lurker\_Above](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Lurker\_Above](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lurker_Above)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/17 "2013-07-29T19:13:44Z")
> [@Kamino\_Neko](#): > > or borrowing from another language (another possibility I’ve never seen personally, but have heard of). Well, that’s what I and my younger brother did to distinguish between my grandparents; so I’m sure that at least one gay/lesbian family has come up with the same solution. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/18 "2013-07-29T20:59:01Z")
One that I’ve heard that I’m not particularly fond of, but don’t have any kind of dog in the fight so I just kept my mouth shut, is that in the town where I grew up, kids with two moms have taken to calling bio-mom some form of traditional “mom,” “mommy,” etc., and their other mom, auntie. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/19 "2013-07-29T21:05:02Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > I assume the latter is the one that’s planning on coming to them in times of trouble? I assume she’s wise as well. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819/20 "2013-07-29T23:33:18Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Our kid just calls us “meow”. But then, that’s about all he says. I don’t mean to alarm you, but your child might be a kitten. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-kids-of-gay-parents-address-them/664819.md?page=2)