# How do lesbians and bi women feel about men being aroused by their sexuality?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-lesbians-and-bi-women-feel-about-men-being-aroused-by-their-sexuality/676370>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 15, 2013, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-lesbians-and-bi-women-feel-about-men-being-aroused-by-their-sexuality/676370 "2013-12-15T10:55:13Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 3

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**Author:** ![F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.Pu-du-he-pa-as)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-lesbians-and-bi-women-feel-about-men-being-aroused-by-their-sexuality/676370/3 "2013-12-15T16:09:30Z")

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If they’re neutral about it, or see it as a shared interest, that’s fine. Anything else would make me uncomfortable and I probably wouldn’t want to spend time around them. “Hey, do you think So-and-so is hot?” is OK. “Man, it would be so hot if you banged So-and-so,” is not.

I also get offended by the idea that a woman having sex with another woman wouldn’t count as cheating, for pretty much what Rala said–

> [@Girl-girl exception to monogamy?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-girl-exception-to-monogamy/676296/52):
>
> My feelings for/relationships with women are _real_, every bit as genuine as my feelings for/relationships with men, so of course the cheating would be real too. I find it insulting when people say it’s not.

People also tend to assume that LGBT rights should be less important to me because I ended up in a relationship with a man, and so I’m generally assumed to be straight. It doesn’t matter! This is what I am, this is how I feel, and if things had gone somewhat differently, I might have ended up equally happy in a relationship with a woman. The fact that I’m in a relationship with a man doesn’t make the same-sex interest any less legit or relevant.

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