# How Do PMs Work? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 17, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173 "2009-10-17T22:52:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/1 "2009-10-17T22:52:12Z")
I’ve previously sent 1 PM and did not expect an answer to it so I don’t what to do now. What’s the etiquette for sending a PM? I’m involved in a thread that I hi-jacked (after the OP was answered) and would like to continue a conversation. May I assume that that a PM is received and answered or not? Should I just plow on in my hi-jack? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/2 "2009-10-17T23:18:27Z")
If someone receives a PM they get a popup to let them know the next time they come to the site, and, if they have the option clicked in their User Control Panel, an email too. Further, the “private messages” link at the top-right of the page will show up bold, with the number of unread messages noted. I’ll PM you a test so you can see. (IOW, if you PMed someone and they’ve subsequently posted to the board, you should assume they know they got it, though there’s no way to know if they read it or not.) ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/3 "2009-10-17T23:32:17Z")
The popup is also an option, though. If neither the popup nor the email options were selected then the only way someone would know that they have a PM is if they notice the indication under their name in the upper right corner of the page. It’s easy for that to be overlooked - I’ve done it myself, which is why I have popups enabled. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/4 "2009-10-17T23:34:12Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > The popup is also an option, though. I did not know that. Apologies for misinformation. ---
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/5 "2009-10-18T03:32:44Z")
**jjimm** , Got your PM. Enabled popups. Thanks all. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/6 "2009-10-18T03:41:36Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > May I assume that that a PM is received and answered or not? For future reference, you can check the “Request a read receipt for this message” box at the bottom of the new message screen. You’ll get a notification when the other person opens the message. ---
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/7 "2009-10-18T11:01:15Z")
That’s what I was really looking for. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/8 "2009-10-18T14:18:09Z")
This is a better option than to hijack the thread, when a PM is not noticed. So and so I sent a PM. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-pms-work/514173/9 "2009-10-18T19:03:01Z")
And if that doesn’t work, just start phoning the person at all hours and drop by their home unexpectedly.