# How do poor people pay for funerals? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 4, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007 "2009-04-04T23:09:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/21 "2009-04-05T15:55:32Z")
[Here](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2573/can-a-person-be-buried-in-the-backyard-rather-than-a-cemetery) is Cecil’s column on the question of backyard burials. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/22 "2009-04-05T16:36:23Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > Who have you been talking to that you think that $10,000 is cheap for a funeral? The average cost of a funeral in the U.S. is currently about $7,000. Maybe he’s seen those TV ads for funeral plans. The ad says that the average funeral cost is $10,000. It cost $1,200 for cremation for my first husband. My mom’s cremation and inurnment was $3,000, and she paid for it before she died. My dad was a WWII vet and the government paid for his cremation and burial in a military cemetery in California. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/23 "2009-04-05T18:05:02Z")
If those ads claim that the average funeral in the U.S. costs $10,000, they’re lying. Among other things, $10,000 is a little too precise. Even if it’s rounded to the nearest $100, it’s odd that it’s precisely $10,000. ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/24 "2009-04-05T22:58:17Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > Who have you been talking to that you think that $10,000 is cheap for a funeral? The average cost of a funeral in the U.S. is currently about $7,000. I was talking to a funeral home director when I was helping plan a funeral. He didn’t say that that was cheap, but just looking at the options that was my impression, and I guess I was mistaken. But even $7K (or two grand) isn’t cheap, and there are a lot of families that can’t afford that. I guess the closest answer to my question is charity or potter’s field. ---
**Author:** ![bonzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@bonzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bonzer)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/25 "2009-04-05T22:59:14Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > But then, average funeral costs here are £2000 for a burial and £1,215 for a cremation (which is more common). Maybe ours are cheaper because we don’t tend to have open-casket viewngs at the funeral home. Which was pretty much the argument Jessica Mitford made when comparing the UK and the US in _The American Way of Death_ back in 1963. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/26 "2009-04-05T23:16:10Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Is a conventional funeral arranged by a mortician legally necessary in the US? Heck no - for the past couple decades my family has contacted crematoriums directly to pick up the body and reduce it to ashes. No traditional funeral, no embalming, no wake, no viewing - we pick up the ashes, find an attractive container (my sister’s was one of her favorite pieces of artistic pottery, my mom’s mother-of-pearl and brass), and take the “decedent” to a memorial feast with family and friends. We just don’t like to spend money on the dead. Our aversion to traditional, expensive funerals probably is connected to my grandparents having been undertakers and well aware of the mark-ups involved - we could have afforded traditional funerals if we wanted them, but we didn’t want them. Mom was picked up by a very polite pair of gentlemen from the crematorium who came out to the house at 1 am and took her away in a discreet and efficient manner. A few days later dad got a call “Do you want to pick up the ashes or should we ship them somewhere?”. That’s it. > [@](#): > > For instance, could an indigent family organize a funeral themselves and bury the body in their backyard? (Having complied with any legal requirements for autopsy, etc.) There are problems with burying a _body_, not so much ashes. Some localities restrict where you can put human ashes but as a practical matter they can’t really stop you and human ashes are, well, _ashes_ - I doubt that, other than teeny weeny bone fragments (they’re supposed to grind them up, but there’s still a certain coarseness) there’s really nothing to distinguish them from, say, the leftovers from a barbecue. Bodies, on the other hand, can cause issues if they aren’t buried deeply enough, resurface, are discovered later and induce panic, etc. Other places allow private family graveyards, but those tend to be rural areas or large areas of land owned by a family. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/27 "2009-04-05T23:37:09Z")
prices depend on your area and how much you get done. my mum’s funeral was close to 10,000. the funeral home alone was over 7,000, she did not have a viewing at the parlor, simple wood casket, and a personal ride from the hospital, to funeral home, to church, to cemetary. the plot at the cemetary and opening the plot was over 2,000 dollars, headstones will start at around 1,000. thankfully this cemetary doesnot require a concrete vault. that would have thown another 1,000+ into the mix. if we were in upstate pa, instead of big city pa, it would have been at least 4-5 thousand cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/28 "2009-04-06T00:17:58Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > Renee writes: > > \> We paid about $7K last year for my father in law’s funeral. (That didn’t include > \> the plot, which he’d bought himself before he died.) > > That’s nice, but the fact remains that the average American funeral, including the cost of the plot, is about $7,300 at the moment. That doesn’t include the cost of a plot and grave digging, but even counting those it’s well below $10,000: > > [Funeral FAQs in Derry & Londonderry, NH | Peabody Funeral Homes & Crematorium](http://www.peabodyfuneralhome.com/FAQs.htm) > > Asylum claimed that even a cheap funeral will be about $10,000. That’s not true. That’s above the cost of an average funeral in the U.S., let alone a cheap one. Anyone who thinks that it’s impossible to have a funeral for less than $10,000 in the U.S. has been talking to some funeral director who tried to persuade him that funerals costing below $10,000 are just not proper. In funerals, as in everything else, you should shop around if you are getting high price estimates. My point wasn’t that it was nice, it was that it was really expensive, and that there were very few things we could have done to make it less so (I personally thing burial is a ridiculous waste of money, but it’s what he and many others want.) If you’re going to bury someone in the states, it may not cost $10K, but it’s going to cost a LOT, much more than your average poor folk can manage, and there are few ways to get the cost down. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/29 "2009-04-06T00:43:21Z")
> [@Asylum](#): > > It seems to me that even if you go cheap you’re going to be paying close to $10,000. How do you people without any insurance or other resources pay for it, especially since the funeral homes and cemeteries want money up front? Oh, I WISH my father was getting “cheap” funerals for ten grand! [My father’s funeral home](http://www.webfh.com/fh/home/home.cfm?&fh_id=10418&ck=1) (He didn’t make the website, though-it’s corporate owned.) No, even the most expensive seems to be $4,255. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/30 "2009-04-06T00:50:24Z")
(Missed the edit window) There are also payment plans available, and he’s always willing to work one out for those in need. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/31 "2009-04-06T00:59:54Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > But then, average funeral costs here are £2000 for a burial and £1,215 for a cremation (which is more common). Maybe ours are cheaper because we don’t tend to have open-casket viewngs at the funeral home. Those average costs are quoted in the Oddfellows survey conducted in 2000. An AXA survey from 2007 quotes an average burial at £2,620/$3,887 (up 31%) and an average cremation at £2,160/$3,206 (up 77%). While I am here, I might as well point out that AXA also differentiates between the cost of a funeral and the typical cost of dying. > [@](#): > > For the first time an additional survey has looked at the other likely costs incurred after death. Typically these break down as follows: administration of estate (probate) £2,107, funeral flowers £229, death notice in newspapers £98, funeral notice in newspapers £146, catering at wake for 50 people £341, memorial, for example headstone £612. Where required, these likely additional costs total £3,533, and when added to the average funeral cost of £2,390, result in a total cost of dying of £5,923. Some of the above items might not be applicable to those who are the subject of the OP. Incidentally, the 2000 Oddfellows research reveals a disturbing tendency on the part of funeral directors to underquote by stating a basic fee and omitting some of the extras. Furthermore, what is basic for one funeral director can be an extra with another. Their survey found that the average price paid exceeded the average quote by 95% - 134% for burials and by 31% - 44% for cremations. Grieving relatives should certainly ascertain what they are getting for their cash. . . . [Oddfellows](http://www.uk-funerals.co.uk/oddfellows-survey-into-funerals.html). [AXA](http://www.axa.co.uk/media/pressreleases/2007/pr20071031_0001.html). ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/32 "2009-04-06T01:08:22Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > …[Funeral FAQs in Derry & Londonderry, NH | Peabody Funeral Homes & Crematorium](http://www.peabodyfuneralhome.com/FAQs.htm)… I’m surprised women’s burial clothing is actually _cheaper_ then men’s clothing. Wouldn’t backyard burials raise all kinds of problems with zoning and reselling the property? I imagine you’d need to disclose to new buyer that grandma’s buried in the back yard. What happens if they decide to remodel or put in a pool? :eek: What happens to her remains and who pays for it? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/33 "2009-04-06T01:39:04Z")
How many churches do this? When my son’s mother-in-law died, her ashes were interred at her church. I didn’t see it directly, but was told that they had a large, heavy glass cylinder that the ashes of church members could be added to. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/34 "2009-04-06T03:37:36Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#): > > Those average costs are quoted in the Oddfellows survey conducted in 2000. > > An AXA survey from 2007 quotes an average burial at £2,620/$3,887 (up 31%) and an average cremation at £2,160/$3,206 (up 77%). > > While I am here, I might as well point out that AXA also differentiates between the cost of a funeral and the typical cost of dying. > > Some of the above items might not be applicable to those who are the subject of the OP. > > Incidentally, the 2000 Oddfellows research reveals a disturbing tendency on the part of funeral directors to underquote by stating a basic fee and omitting some of the extras. Furthermore, what is basic for one funeral director can be an extra with another. Their survey found that the average price paid exceeded the average quote by 95% - 134% for burials and by 31% - 44% for cremations. > > Grieving relatives should certainly ascertain what they are getting for their cash. > . > . > . > > [Oddfellows](http://www.uk-funerals.co.uk/oddfellows-survey-into-funerals.html). > > [AXA](http://www.axa.co.uk/media/pressreleases/2007/pr20071031_0001.html). The Oddfellows? That’s a blast from the past - I spent most of my childhood in part of an Oddfellows social club while my parents drank in the bar. I got the figures from a BBC article. Interesting report from axa about how costs have changed. Interesting, also, that they include all this as extra costs: Typically these break down as follows: administration of estate (probate) £2,107, funeral flowers £229, death notice in newspapers £98, funeral notice in newspapers £146, catering at wake for 50 people £341, memorial, for example headstone £612. Where required, these likely additional costs total £3,533, and when added to the average funeral cost of £2,390, result in a total cost of dying of £5,923. Not everyone has those. I don’t think it would ever occur to my family to put a notice in the newspapers (and birth/death/marriage notices are free in my local paper, anyway), administration of estate simply was not an issue (and never has been for anyone I’ve ever known who’s died), the headstone was not an issue, and flowers and food cost way less than that, perhaps because there weren’t as many as fifty people. It wasn’t scrimping or making do - they’re not just not essential parts of the funeral. For the parts that are essential, they can come out a lot cheaper than well-off people expect, because, if you’re poor, you kinda get used to making money stretch. You are more likely to have a network of other impecunious friends who’ll help you out by getting “mates’ rates” for one or more aspects of the funeral, and everyone’ll chip in to the catering. It’s funny how unwilling people are to see someone go to their grave without a good send-off, even if they would never have helped that person in life. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/35 "2009-04-06T05:33:29Z")
Embalming is not legally required in most states, _BUT_ if the body is not embalmed it must be buried very quickly. That is where some poor people save money. Most churches have inexpensive plots for members. (I’m still kicking myself for not having my mother buried in her hometown church- it would have been the difference in about $6000 and about $1200 [that being the vault and opening and perpetual care fee]). Some churches will supply a funeral pall upon request. ([Picture of a funeral pall](http://www.stjudeshop.com/resources/StJudeShop/images/products/processed/60-2749.zoom.a.jpg).) They’re traditional in some churches and used in almost all funerals. They’re ancient in concept and centuries old in usage but they made a major comeback during the Depression and other recessions because under the pall you can’t tell whether a body is lying in the cheapest pine box or a the deluxe rosewood coffin. (The old bitch who was funeral director with my mother’s service actually told us that particular funeral home didn’t use them because “they’re bad for business”). Most of the people I know who have been cremated had visitation in a regular coffin (not the cardboard number that’s cremated with them). Just out of morbid curiosity, does anybody know how much it costs to rent these coffins? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/36 "2009-04-06T05:42:06Z")
Also- a lot more people have burial insurance than you might think. I have a policy that was bought for around $400 when I was a kid that is worth many times that; I know it covers the cheapest metal coffin and embalming, not sure what else or if it’s redeemable for creation. I’m not sure exactly how burial insurance works, but I do know that _Liberty Mutual_ is a hated company by some funeral homes because they’re somehow contractually obligated to honor policies sold many years ago and apparently make very little money in doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Cillasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Cillasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cillasi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/37 "2009-04-06T07:41:07Z")
Mortuaries in poor neighborhoods are prepared to do things for less - the coffins are usually cheaper as is the use of their facilities. Families take up collections from relatives, church members and neighbors. In a poor area, a funeral can cost much less than the reported average. Also, many poor people, even if they don’t have insurance, may have “burial money” even if it’s only a few hundred bucks stuffed under a mattress. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/38 "2009-04-06T15:20:08Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > We paid about $7K last year for my father in law’s funeral. (That didn’t include the plot, which he’d bought himself before he died.) That was with the cheapest casket they had, which was about $4K, IIRC. I’m not sure how you could get the cost down much below 5K, at least if you insist on an actual burial. I just gotta ask why a casket needs to cost $4,000. If I get any say in it (which, well, I might not, since I’ll be dead), I’d rather be put in a simple pine box, sanded down enough so it’s safe to handle by the pallbearers. I dunno, maybe a funeral home is expensive to run, so they sell expensive caskets to cover it, but geez, any explanations for this beyond “because the market will support it”? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/39 "2009-04-06T16:26:36Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > I just gotta ask why a casket needs to cost $4,000. If I get any say in it (which, well, I might not, since I’ll be dead), I’d rather be put in a simple pine box, sanded down enough so it’s safe to handle by the pallbearers. I dunno, maybe a funeral home is expensive to run, so they sell expensive caskets to cover it, but geez, any explanations for this beyond “because the market will support it”? Coffins are a highly cartelized industry. Costco has been offering cheap ones for sale for some time, but as someone noted upthread, some states forbid it. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007/40 "2009-04-06T16:58:47Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Coffins are a highly cartelized industry. Costco has been offering cheap ones for sale for some time, but as someone noted upthread, some states forbid it. Wait, they actually sell coffins at costco? Heh. I thought that was a joke. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-poor-people-pay-for-funerals/492007.md?page=3)