# How do quadriplegics/injured people relieve sexual tension? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 18, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544 "2004-11-18T21:32:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/21 "2004-11-19T08:46:47Z")
wet dreams like a 10 year old perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/22 "2004-11-19T09:09:21Z")
I have a cousin who married a quad and together they had three children. No, I don’t know her well enough to ask for specific details. John Hockenberry in his biography _Moving Violations_ does touch upon the sex life of a paraplegic in a fair amount of detail without restorting to medical terminology. Some of the escapades were pretty funny. Quadraplegic cartoonist John Callahan in his biography “He Won’t Get Far On Foot” also discusses his sex life post-accident, including how he masturbates (he has very limited use of his hands/arms) as well as the episode where he was almost accidently killed during cunnilingus. A spinal cord injury will definitely have an effect on your sex life, but it doesn’t necessarially end it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/23 "2004-11-19T12:58:12Z")
[http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.asp?durki=22405](http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.asp?durki=22405) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/24 "2004-11-19T13:39:37Z")
Ron Kovics’s book “Born on the Fourth of July” has a section where he goes to a whorehouse that specializes in treating men paralyzed from the waist down. In one of their last interviews, Christopher and Dana Reeve say “they still have a complete sex life,” but don’t elaborate. IThey also state they wanted more children. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/25 "2004-11-19T13:51:17Z")
Prostitution is largely legal in Australia. Most of the classier places cater for clients with physical maladies, some even have lifting equipment. Working women I have known have quite fond feelings for debilitated clients. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/26 "2004-11-19T15:33:41Z")
I was looking after a 15 year old quadraplegic guy in the hospital today. I’m not sure _how_ the conversation got to it but he’s really looking forward to eventually losing his virginity. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/27 "2004-11-19T19:05:29Z")
The HBO special “American Dicks” (a fascinating expose on the male penis) interviewed a man who was paralyzed from the chest down. He admitted that he did indeed masturbate: “The penis has weight to it, and it feels good in my hand.” Obviously he couldn’t ejaculate; and whether or not he actually got an erection, I don’t remember if he said so or not. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/28 "2004-11-19T19:51:14Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > [http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.asp?durki=22405](http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.asp?durki=22405) From the site: > [@](#): > > Penile vibratory stimulation (PVS) can be used to achieve an erection, but its main purpose is to produce an ejaculate for those who wish to become fathers. A variety of vibrators/massagers are available for this purpose. Some are specifically designed with the output power required to induce ejaculation in spinal cord injured men. It is important to consult a physician before using a vibrator. One danger of using a vibrator is it could cause swollen or inflamed skin. If the male does not have feeling, the vibrator must be used very carefully to avoid any bruising, bleeding or ulceration. > > Rectal Probe Electroejaculation (RPE) is an option if PVS is not successful. RPE is when a doctor inserts an electrical stimulation probe into the rectum, and the controlled electrical stimulation produces an ejaculation. When sperm cannot be retrieved using PVS or RPE, minor surgery can be performed to remove sperm from the testicle. Once sperm are collected they can be used in artificial insemination. WOW! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![King\_Friday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@King\_Friday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Friday)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/29 "2004-11-19T22:40:00Z")
There was a guy on Howard Stern that had no arms. He would go to the fruit stand, purchase a watermelon, get it home in a duffel bag, cut it in half (somehow), and make love to it. And I get pissed when I don’t have a tissue within arms reach. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/30 "2004-11-19T23:26:37Z")
The movie [The Waterdance](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105789/) deals explicitly with this very subject. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/31 "2004-11-20T00:01:12Z")
Anecdote alert: When I was about 10 years old, my grandfather had a stroke (as in the brain seizure type of stroke, before you pun-meisters leap on it!). After that he was in a nursing home for two or three years before he died. He was confined to his bed and paralysed down one side. I distinctly remember on one occasion visiting him and noticing, in the waste-paper basket in his room, empty condom packets! I was about 12 at the time, so believe me, I knew what I was seeing. Now, at the time I thought - “My god, the nurses are… doing it with grandad!”. :eek: I guess, as he was only fully paralysed on one side of his body, he might have been doing it himself and the nurses provide the condoms to save on mess, but who knows? NB, in the event there is an afterlife: sorry, grandpa, for speculating on your masturbatory habits on a public message board. I’m going straight to hell for this one… ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/32 "2004-11-20T00:59:05Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > NB, in the event there is an afterlife: sorry, grandpa, for speculating on your masturbatory habits on a public message board. I’m going straight to hell for this one… Better to believe that grandpa was irresistivly sexy and that the nurses couldn’t keep thier hands (or other parts of thier anatomy) off of him! 😃 With any luck it might even run in the family. 😉 Now your grandfather would be smiling down on you! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/33 "2004-11-20T01:12:04Z")
I spend time practically every day talking to paralyzed young men about their sex lives, so if there was ever a question made for me, this is it. I am a psychologist on an SCI unit in a hospital, by the way. The brochure **runner pat** linked to is the one I give my patients. I have also seen (and shown) a film called Sexuality Reborn that shows men with SCI having what looks to be very enjoyable sex. They report that they feel sexual tension and release in other parts of their bodies; for example, one quad is shown clearly enjoying being caressed on his neck. Viagra is effective for most of the men who cannot have erections the usual way, so intercouse is possible. As for masturbation for those who cannot find a way on their own, as others have mentioned, prostitutes, friendly caregivers, and umm…devices figure prominently. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/34 "2004-11-20T02:33:10Z")
I’ve forgotten most everything of calculus, Spanish and Russian history from college, but remember a 15-year-old news story involving a paralyzed (or double leg/arm amputee) older veteran. Apparently, he still had quite the libido and somehow managed to convince the nursing staff to manually bring him to orgasm every once awhile, just to relieve the tension. Anyway, this went on for some time, perhaps by only one nurse (can’t recall), and somewhere along the way, someone spilled the beans, as it were. The nurse was brought before a disciplinary board, fired, and IIRC was stripped of her license. She characterized her actions as compassionate, maintaining that the man needed it and doing this for him made his–and the nurses–lives much easier. They didn’t buy it. She also said she derived no satisfaction from her actions. YMMV, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/35 "2004-11-20T02:50:58Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Ron Kovics’s book “Born on the Fourth of July” has a section where he goes to a whorehouse that specializes in treating men paralyzed from the waist down. > > In one of their last interviews, Christopher and Dana Reeve say “they still have a complete sex life,” but don’t elaborate. IThey also state they wanted more children. “Forrest Gump” addresses this also with Gary Sinise’s character. Paraplegic Jon Voight character gets it on “orally” with Jane Fonda in “Coming Home”, directed by Hal Ashby. Timothy Bottoms played an almost limbless quad in the 1971 “Johnny Got His Gun”, directed by Dalton Trumbo. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/36 "2004-11-20T04:37:30Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > After that he was in a nursing home for two or three years before he died. He was confined to his bed and paralysed down one side. Did he also have no feeling on that side of his body? 'Cause wouldn’t it have been interesting if he had sensation in one side of his penis, but not the other. Seriously, how does that work? (Sorry, **Colophon** ’s granddad! Inquiring minds, and all that.) ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/37 "2004-11-20T04:51:21Z")
> [@King Friday](#): > > There was a guy on Howard Stern that had no arms. He would go to the fruit stand, purchase a watermelon, get it home in a duffel bag, cut it in half (somehow), and make love to it. > > And I get pissed when I don’t have a tissue within arms reach. Why? Do you have to blow your nose? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/38 "2004-11-20T19:36:54Z")
> [@ava](#): > > I can get myself off by just thinking about it. I read about it somewhere and I tried it and eventually was able to train myself into it. It is much better with a steady pressure against that area, but I can still orgasm laying completely still and not touching myself. I am a female, if that makes a difference. I once [read about](http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=1610) a girl having an orgasm without any sort of stimulation or even particularly aiming for it, apparently due to the influence of inhaled nitrous oxide. I was a little skeptical. Then I introduced a female friend to nitrous and, on about the fifth whippit or so, literally saw her have an orgasm. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen! We were fully clothed, in my car in seperate bucket seats, not touching or (AFAIK) even thinking about each other sexually, but she had a full-fledged, boat-rocking orgasm. I actually haven’t seen such an orgasm in my sexual experiences either. She was a little embarrassed, but in the end we agreed that the whole episode had been thoroughly awesome. (I’ll note here that, although I’ve seen and read about lots of nitrous oxide use in females, these are the only two cases of unstimulated orgasm. Also, I did nitrous several times with the same girl since–a few times with more interesting stuff going on at the time–and haven’t seen that response again.) ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/39 "2004-11-20T19:38:21Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > …these are the only two cases of unstimulated orgasm. :smack: I meant to say that those are the only two cases of unstimulated orgasm I’ve seen or heard about (other than ava’s narrative above, that is). ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544/40 "2004-11-21T16:37:31Z")
Saw a documentary in pysch class a while back about quadriplegic men who visit strip clubs. It went on to explore about how much of sexuality was based on visual stimulation and for the men it was how the relieved some of the tension. For me, I’ll quote Adam Corrolla, “If you cut off my arms and legs, I would evolve an appendage and still be able to masterbate.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-quadriplegics-injured-people-relieve-sexual-tension/275544.md?page=3)