Gotta agree with OtakuLoki, here. I currently weigh in over 300lb; I’m not what you could ever consider anything but obese. I stand 6’2", so it’s not as apparent as it would be if I were shorter, but still.
Yet I have run down a teenager. Little wanker swiped my wife’s purse and ran. I chased him, caught him after a block-and-a-half (ironically, right outside my front gate - we started at the supermarket), and sat on the little punk until the cops arrived. He wasn’t very happy.
I think you missed your true calling, vetbridge!
To quote Orin:
"She said, “My boy, I think someday
You’ll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You’ll be a dentist
You have a talent for causin’ things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You’ll be a success”
This is true. I’m about 20 pounds over and I pass the physical mandates every year during in-service training. Sure, I should drop that extra weight, and sometimes I do, but it always creeps right back up. But consider this: I know dozens of officers who are at or below the recommended weight for their height. But I can outrun them. Why? Because they smoke 2 packs a day, that’s why.
So what’s worse?
There ARE some departments, however, that do enforce the height/weight requirements even after hiring. I have a very good friend who worked as a patrolman
for a department for 8 years and was canned because he could/would not get his weight back down to appropriate levels. He was at least 80 pounds over though.
Funny thing; he passed all the tests for another department and has worked there for over 10 years.
Serial burglar: Flattery, with a heaping dollop of “just too dumb to believe” cop.
“I can’t believe how you got in and out of there with the stuff! How did you ever do it? We would never have figured it out! No! Really? Up the back window? But then how did you ever find the stuff and get it packaged up?”
Pedophile:
(deep breath, best cop face, straight lie)
“I understand, man. You’re not getting any at home, your old lady’s cruel to you, it’s an unfair world. And, for a four-year-old, she was really hot.”
Hey. Whatever works.
I always thought in a sheriff’s department they transferred officer Duncan Doanuts to guard duty at the jail…
OK, I can see how a cop could use psychology to get a confession. Does that have to rule out concurrent torture, though?
