# How do the current list of Mods identify themselves as to gender? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [November 19, 2020, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936 "2020-11-19T01:44:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/82 "2020-12-05T05:36:42Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > . If you don’t recall being actively involved when there was a big, like yearlong kerfuffle in a series of threads about the way posters here treat women when issues of rape and harassment and rape culture come up, I don’t think it’s because it escaped your notice at the time. I think you are just not aware that that whole forest amounted to a traumatic and consequential period for a lot of people; you were all up in the trees at the time. Oh yeah, we had a lot of threads here in ATMB about Misogyny . I remember one was about something about “who is hotter Mary Ann or Ginger” or something like that, and I took a rather middle position of get rid of the misogynist assholes, but Threads like that can just be meant in fun. But since the other posters mentioned it was mostly in the pit, yes, I was likely “up in the trees”, or _I am Captain Oblivious sometimes_ unaware of what was really going on. But I never heard the term 'rape month" until today. I am glad we have taken a stand against the bad stuff. I fully support that. I love to debate, but the issue with this issue is that you cant debate it. 🤪You cant even take a middle ground, which is what I like to do. You either say “Yeah, absolutely, you are clearly very right” or stay out. I need to learn to stay out. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/83 "2020-12-05T05:55:07Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Threads like that can just be meant in fun. The fact that some people are having fun doesn’t mean that there isn’t a problem. The fact that some people think certain sorts of things are fun is itself a good deal of the problem. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/84 "2020-12-05T05:58:21Z")
Yeah, absolutely, you are clearly very right. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/85 "2020-12-05T17:04:13Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I remember one was about something about “who is hotter Mary Ann or Ginger” or something like that, and I took a rather middle position of get rid of the misogynist assholes, but Threads like that can just be meant in fun. I don’t understand why threads like that _can’t_ be had in fun. Nobody is required to read them. I’m uncomfortable with the idea that everything to do with sexuality is off the table. I recently remarked that I wanted to have a fictional character’s babies. Is that no longer allowed? > [@DrDeth](#): > > I love to debate, but the issue with this issue is that you cant debate it. 🤪You cant even take a middle ground, which is what I like to do. You either say “Yeah, absolutely, you are clearly very right” or stay out. I need to learn to stay out. I don’t know what a “middle ground” is on the subject of rape, but I’d be happy with the most egregious comments and hijacks getting modded while allowing a certain degree of ignorance-fighting to happen. In the case of the **Der Trihs** cluster, that thread was specifically a “share your story of sexual assault” thread and he should have been modded immediately for trying to hijack it. The central tension is whether we want a safe space for sexual assault survivors or whether we want to fight ignorance about sexual assault. Maybe there is a middle ground. I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/86 "2020-12-05T17:26:48Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I love to debate, but the issue with this issue is that you cant debate it. 🤪You cant even take a middle ground, which is what I like to do. You either say “Yeah, absolutely, you are clearly very right” or stay out. I need to learn to stay out. While this is a real phenomenon and it would be dishonest and unfair to deny that, there’s also another real phenomenon that can be important in these kinds of conversations. That’s the situation where… let’s say that opinions about a thing can range from 1 to 10, and 4-6 is the “middle ground.” Often somebody will plant their flag on position 8 and say that they’re in the middle, because they can concretely point to the fact that they aren’t in position 9 or 10. And then, based on the response to position 8, they conclude well, I guess you just can’t take a _nuanced, subtle_ intellectual posture anymore. Someone in position 3 might look at that and say nah, man, you can be in the middle. You just aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/87 "2020-12-05T17:45:40Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I don’t understand why threads like that _can’t_ be had in fun. Nobody is required to read them. I’m uncomfortable with the idea that everything to do with sexuality is off the table. > > I recently remarked that I wanted to have a fictional character’s babies. Is that no longer allowed? It _seems_ to be Ok in a thread devoted to the attractiveness of a celebrity. But not dropped in where it would start a hijack or a issue. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/88 "2020-12-05T17:47:27Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I don’t know what a “middle ground” is on the subject of rape, There is none, really. It was not rape but '_what is misogyny ?"_ that I wanted a middle ground. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/89 "2020-12-05T18:19:27Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > The central tension is whether we want a safe space for sexual assault survivors or whether we want to fight ignorance about sexual assault. Maybe there is a middle ground. I don’t know. Options could be different rules in different forums, or requiring a trigger warning on threads devoted to certain topics, with content inappropriate for a given thread strictly modded. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/90 "2020-12-05T18:27:27Z")
My understanding is the rules are more laxed in the Café when talking about actors & actresses or models or the like. It still shouldn’t look like Penthouse letters though no matter what. I’m a mod and I’m not 100% sure of the rules though. I do know in GQ, GD and P&E no toleration. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/91 "2020-12-05T18:34:05Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > The central tension is whether we want a safe space for sexual assault survivors or whether we want to fight ignorance about sexual assault. I’m not sure those are contradictory. People who genuinely want their ignorance fought could read such threads without commenting. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/92 "2020-12-05T18:35:18Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > My understanding is the rules are more laxed in the Café when talking about actors & actresses or models or the like. It still shouldn’t look like Penthouse letters though no matter what. That would be for the ‘so-and-so is hot’ type of comments? For the subject of sexual assault it would need to be the other way around; ignorance allowed in the debate forums in order to fight it (and probably in the pit too), other forums a safe space. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/93 "2020-12-05T19:11:23Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > My understanding is the rules are more laxed in the Café when talking about actors & actresses or models or the like. It still shouldn’t look like Penthouse letters though no matter what. OK. So I guess I can still fangirl over Aral Vorkosigan. I have no idea what he looks like anyway. > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I’m not sure those are contradictory. People who genuinely want their ignorance fought could read such threads without commenting. I guess it depends upon the nature of the thread. In a thread soliciting experiences of sexual assault, people can learn just by reading. But in a thread about, say, Aziz Ansari, where the line is blurred about what actually happened or what constitutes assault, if we shut down ignorance, there’s nothing left to say. There’s no opportunity for learning if there’s no debate to begin with. > [@DemonTree](#): > > That would be for the ‘so-and-so is hot’ type of comments? For the subject of sexual assault it would need to be the other way around; ignorance allowed in the debate forums in order to fight it (and probably in the pit too), other forums a safe space. I like this idea. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/94 "2020-12-25T21:18:45Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I suspect I have a higher tolerance for what should be allowed than most. I wouldn’t have batted an eye at “chicks.” I’m curious about what you would have done in the following situation. In a thread, “Is Sydney Powell Insane?” someone remarked that she was cute. I considered that jerky and mod noted him saying so (No warning). Would you have let it pass? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/95 "2020-12-25T21:37:51Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > In a thread, “Is Sydney Powell Insane?” someone remarked that she was cute. I considered that jerky and mod noted him saying so (No warning). Would you have let it pass? Actually, it was worse than than just saying she was cute. The post implied he would have sex with her if she weren’t crazy: “But … (don’t put it in the crazy) …she’s kind of cute”. It was more than commenting on her attractiveness, it was a crude sexual comment. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/96 "2020-12-25T22:10:22Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Actually, it was worse than than just saying she was cute. The post implied he would have sex with her if she weren’t crazy: “But … (don’t put it in the crazy) …she’s kind of cute”. It was more than commenting on her attractiveness, it was a crude sexual comment. I probably would have modded that. I’m not personally bothered by it, but the decision to mod, or not mod isn’t really about one’s personal sensibilities so much as facilitating whatever kind of culture is desired. And you wouldn’t want a culture where people are always making gratuitous sexual comments about public figures, I presume. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2020, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936/97 "2020-12-27T23:54:10Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Some people prefer to be addressed using the appropriate pronouns. And some people prefer to use the appropriate pronouns when addressing or talking about someone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-the-current-list-of-mods-identify-themselves-as-to-gender/925936.md?page=4)