# How Do They Do Wet Dreams In the Army **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 29, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111 "2009-08-29T01:29:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/1 "2009-08-29T01:29:08Z")
What happens when a soldier has a wet dream in the Army or any other branch of the military? ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/2 "2009-08-29T01:34:30Z")
Seriously? What happens when _ **you** _ have one? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/3 "2009-08-29T01:35:34Z")
Not the Army, but the first night the Marines were onboard our ship, one of them was heavily kidded for masterbating in his bunk…but only because he didn’t bother to wait for lights out. Pudgy kid with glasses and a stupid-friendly face. I later looked into Drew Carey’s service history and was disappointed to not be able say “I knew him when” ---
**Author:** ![Henrichek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5daacb/32.png) [@Henrichek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Henrichek)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/4 "2009-08-29T01:37:03Z")
The soldier later wakes up and disappointingly realizes it was just a dream. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/5 "2009-08-29T01:37:49Z")
What the fuck? In the immortal words of Emerson Lake and Palmer: Who Knows, Who Cares. For me. C’est la vie. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/6 "2009-08-29T01:42:20Z")
Well, in the Navy, Seamen get discharged. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/7 "2009-08-29T02:01:56Z")
We’ve got submarine veterans here on the dope. Maybe they’ll tell what can sometimes occur when “hot-racking” (time-sharing a mattress with two other guys.) ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/8 "2009-08-29T02:21:27Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > What happens when a soldier has a wet dream in the Army or any other branch of the military? A wet dream in the army means a dishonorable discharge. ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/9 "2009-08-29T03:35:54Z")
A councelor in camp once told me that when he first joined the army, he didn’t masturbate for weeks. Eventually, he got a wet dream for the first time since puberty. After that, he masturbated regularly. ---
**Author:** ![Jerseyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Jerseyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jerseyman)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/10 "2009-08-29T03:41:56Z")
How would they freaking know - or at least admit to knowing? Sounds like boarding school, you get those that do it and hide it and those that do it and show off about it. it all depends what age you are talking about. Then there’s that famous description of Royal Naval tradition as _Rum, Sodomy and the Lash_. No doubt the Republican American version was _Coke, Liberty and the Bible_ - **fat chance** 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/11 "2009-08-29T04:24:03Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Well, in the Navy, Seamen get discharged. When I worked on a Canadian freighter, my registration book was titled “Seaman’s Continuous Certificate of Discharge.” When I first saw the thing, it made me wonder if it was for recording STDs. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/12 "2009-08-29T04:44:44Z")
How do they do wet dreams? By the numbers, damn it, by the numbers. Ready, one, two, three, four. Rest. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/13 "2009-08-29T05:21:18Z")
> [@Spavined\_Gelding](#): > > How do they do wet dreams? By the numbers, damn it, by the numbers. Ready, one, two, three, four. Rest. Wouldn’t they stand at attention? ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/14 "2009-08-29T07:20:03Z")
Army recruits around here use a sock to deposit the ejaculation without making a mess. Some incredibly crusty textiles abound by the laundry day, I hear. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/15 "2009-08-29T10:07:59Z")
It’s not like there’s a lot of fluid in semen. It typically dries within an hour. And men tend to only get wet dreams if they refrain from masturbating for a very long time. Unless they have black underwear I doubt anyone would notice. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/16 "2009-08-29T13:07:26Z")
I always wondered what the term Black Ops referred to. Now I know. Consider ignorance fought. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/17 "2009-08-29T17:01:57Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#): > > A wet dream in the army means a dishonorable discharge. This is not true. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/18 "2009-08-29T17:23:37Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > This is not true. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/19 "2009-08-29T17:39:16Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > This is not true. 😃 Read the post again. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/20 "2009-08-29T17:51:45Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > This is not true. _whoosh_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111.md?page=2)