# How Do They Do Wet Dreams In the Army **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 29, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111 "2009-08-29T01:29:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/21 "2009-08-29T17:57:36Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > _whoosh_ More of a _splort_ if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/22 "2009-08-29T18:03:01Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > More of a _splort_ if you ask me. Speak for yourself.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/23 "2009-08-29T18:04:24Z")
I would assume that, at least during basic, no opportunity is spared to break down the individual and subject him to punishment, and that this would be an excellent example of such opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/24 "2009-08-29T18:06:28Z")
A spanking? In uniform? Too bad Otto’s gone. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/25 "2009-08-29T18:10:22Z")
I found it happened a lot during Basic (lots of stress and hot, fit men around). The second most common dream was dreaming about Basic, which sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/26 "2009-08-29T18:23:45Z")
Masturbating in bunks? Please. That’s what watchtowers are for. ---
**Author:** ![Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/27 "2009-08-29T19:43:54Z")
I didn’t even know you could have wet dreams after a certain age. Thought they were just a puberty thing. I love learning new things. Don’t know how they do it in the army, but I imagine they’d just use their handy. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/28 "2009-08-29T21:27:05Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Masturbating in bunks? Please. > > That’s what watchtowers are for. I wonder if artillery men compute ballistic tables for semen. 65° angle, wind conditions optimal, splooge for effect ! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/29 "2009-08-29T21:36:05Z")
The first computers were built specifically to calculate ballistics tables. Your tax dollars at work. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/30 "2009-08-29T21:44:27Z")
I had a wet dream in the Army once. I was out in the tent city portion of the field in Grafenwoehr Germany and had gotten quite drunk. It was winter, so I passed out in my sleeping bag which was on top of my cot. It started to rain, and apparently there was a leak in our tent which happened to be strategically located right above my general groin area. So, having gone to bed with a full bladder, coupled with the **drip-drip-drip** in the AO of my gonads, I proceeded to have a dream that I was peeing gelatin, and it felt SO GOOD that I…woke up pissing myself. I was wet. Wet dream. True story. ---
**Author:** ![Camus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ba8739/32.png) [@Camus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Camus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/31 "2009-08-29T23:32:32Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I wonder if artillery men compute ballistic tables for semen. 65° angle, wind conditions optimal, splooge for effect ! That’s danger close right there. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/32 "2009-08-30T00:48:01Z")
> [@Struan](#): > > 😃 Read the post again. Yes, there might be a joke there. But _dishonorable discharge_ has a real meaning, and for things like getting caught with another soldier, it can be a dishonorable discharge. So, assuming the OP is asking a serious question, the answer given may well mislead him. ---
**Author:** ![TheFatKid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@TheFatKid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFatKid)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/33 "2009-08-30T01:28:45Z")
> [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](#): > > I didn’t even know you could have wet dreams after a certain age. Thought they were just a puberty thing. I’ve only had one in my life and I was in my 20s. Renting a room in a family’s apartment in Madrid, didn’t feel comfortable tossing off. The pisser was that the dream was about this girl from high school that I couldn’t stand. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/34 "2009-08-30T01:34:09Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yes, there might be a joke there. But _dishonorable discharge_ has a real meaning, and for things like getting caught with another soldier, it can be a dishonorable discharge. So, assuming the OP is asking a serious question, the answer given may well mislead him. Seriously? For fucks sake, there’s no \* might be\* there. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/35 "2009-08-30T01:39:27Z")
> [@Struan](#): > > Seriously? For fucks sake. If dudes thought the Op wasn;t asking a serious question (which I think it can be) then it should be reported, not use it as an excuse to spread misinformation. It would be amazing to some that having consensual sex with another soldier- even hetero sex- can be grounds for a discharge at times. The Military is strange, so why is it impossible that _evidence_ of masturbation could lead to a discipline issue during basic training? Of course, maybe you _know_ it’s a joke- that’s nice. Maybe the poster didn’t mean it as one (can you speak for him) and maybe someone might take it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/36 "2009-08-30T02:00:32Z")
Seriously seriously, what happens is that the individual has to do his laundry earlier than expected or has to put in more things than he expected. I mean, really, what in the world does the OP think would happen? ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/37 "2009-08-30T02:01:00Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > If dudes thought the Op wasn;t asking a serious question (which I think it can be) then it should be reported, not use it as an excuse to spread misinformation. > > It would be amazing to some that having consensual sex with another soldier- even hetero sex- can be grounds for a discharge at times. The Military is strange, so why is it impossible that _evidence_ of masturbation could lead to a discipline issue during basic training? > > Of course, maybe you _know_ it’s a joke- that’s nice. Maybe the poster didn’t mean it as one (can you speak for him) and maybe someone might take it seriously. _bangs head repeatedly off desk_ Divided by a common language…:dubious: Dude, it was just a joke that you spectacularly missed. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/38 "2009-08-30T02:02:48Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yes, there might be a joke there. But _dishonorable discharge_ has a real meaning, and for things like getting caught with another soldier, it can be a dishonorable discharge. So, assuming the OP is asking a serious question, the answer given may well mislead him. There is absolutely no one on God’s green earth who is so stupid that they could not recognize that that comment is a joke. No one. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/39 "2009-08-30T02:07:00Z")
> [@Struan](#): > > _bangs head repeatedly off desk_ > > Divided by a common language…:dubious: > > Dude, it was just a joke that you spectacularly missed. No, I saw it as a poor attempt as a joke. But do you have much interaction with dudes of _average_ intelligence? They are very stupid. I have found I can’t go very wrong by under-estimating the intelligence of the average person or the masses. ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/40 "2009-08-30T02:12:56Z")
I was 19 when I entered Basic (2 months) and AIT (2 more months) for the Army Reserves. I’m sure I was a once or twice a day jacker at that age. I was about halfway through AIT before I ever felt the urge to spank. And no wet dreams. Those uniforms don’t do much to flatter the figures of the few girls that we saw. I always assummed that this was so common that the saltpeter UL arose. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111.md?page=3)