# How Do They Do Wet Dreams In the Army **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 29, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111 "2009-08-29T01:29:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/41 "2009-08-30T02:13:45Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > No, I saw it as a poor attempt as a joke. But do you have much interaction with dudes of _average_ intelligence? They are very stupid. I have found I can’t go very wrong by under-estimating the intelligence of the average person or the masses. Good Lord, you are serious about this! Well, it takes all sorts I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/42 "2009-08-30T02:19:41Z")
JMHO - If the joke had been a pun or something, like “Genital Discharge”, then I’d be with \*\*Struan, Larry \*\* et al. Since there wasn’t, I tend to lean towards DrDeth on this one. [I’ve always felt that joke posts should be indicated with a smiley or something. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.] Also, if you’ve been reading this thread, then you’ll realize that you can’t assume too much about the OP. [Does Abortion Contradict the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution - Great Debates - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529735) ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/43 "2009-08-30T02:24:45Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > And men tend to only get wet dreams if they refrain from masturbating for a very long time. Really? That’s interesting. Now I’m wondering about laundry day at a monestary. ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/44 "2009-08-30T02:25:11Z")
I should answer the OP since I’m here. He’s probably wake up, grab a clean pair of underwear (do they still issue the brown “whitey-tighties”?), go to the latrine and clean himself up, then go back to his bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/45 "2009-08-30T02:29:46Z")
statsman1982’s [I pit the intentionally obtuse!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529655) ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/46 "2009-08-30T03:39:47Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > There is absolutely no one on God’s green earth who is so stupid that they could not recognize that that comment is a joke. No one. Uhm, I’m pretty smart, and I didn’t think it was a joke. Hell, I’m in the Air Force, and didn’t think it was a joke. Then again, I’ve heard lots of things that weren’t jokes that were still wrong or misinformed, so I didn’t take it as gospel either. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/47 "2009-08-30T03:45:59Z")
Okay, okay. It’s a joke, **DrDeth** didn’t get it. Issue resolved. Let’s get on with the thread. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/48 "2009-08-30T05:03:17Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Okay, okay. It’s a joke, **DrDeth** didn’t get it. No, I got that it was likely supposed to be a joke. It wasn’t funny, and could have lead to dudes taking it serious. Rucksinator- you’re right. Now if it had been “A wet dream in the army means a dishonorable (wait for it) _discharge._ (rimshot) 😃 But seriously folks…” Then it’d have been obvious. And even a little funny. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/49 "2009-08-30T06:43:14Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > No, I got that it was likely supposed to be a joke. It wasn’t funny, and could have lead to dudes taking it serious. > > Rucksinator- you’re right. Now if it had been “A wet dream in the army means a dishonorable (wait for it) _discharge._ (rimshot) 😃 But seriously folks…” Then it’d have been obvious. And even a little funny. So in the Army they don’t get discharged, but apparently in the Navy, Seamen do get discharged. Got it. Thanks, Jack. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/50 "2009-08-30T07:24:59Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Of course, maybe you _know_ it’s a joke- that’s nice. Maybe the poster didn’t mean it as one (can you speak for him) and maybe someone might take it seriously. I stole this from Wikipedia: > [@](#): > > In the 18th and 19th centuries, if a patient had ejaculations outside of marital intercourse, or released more semen than is typical, then he was diagnosed with a disease called spermatorrhoea or seminal weakness. A variety of drugs and other treatments, including circumcision and castration, were advised to treat this “disease”. Now, I’m not arguing that castration has ever been prescribed by army doctors anywhere in the world to cure wet dreamers in their ranks. But, it’s just possible. There’s simply no way of knowing. We also recognise, or at least I do, that the army is steeped in tradition. It often clings on to the ‘old values’, eschewing modern methods in favour of historical precedent. So, it’s not totally impossible that a wet dreamer gets his dick chopped off by an army medical officer. I can’t be too dogmatic about this because I don’t have any sources, reputable or otherwise, to support me. If anyone does have a cite, please let me know. Many thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/51 "2009-08-30T11:51:55Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > could have lead to dudes taking it serious. The world would be a safer place if such people were not in the military. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/52 "2009-08-30T11:58:42Z")
Of course, nobody had any sex drive during basic training in the USAR, because they routinely put saltpeter in the chow… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/53 "2009-08-30T19:27:14Z")
Quoth **Fake Tales of San Francisco** : > [@](#): > > I didn’t even know you could have wet dreams after a certain age. Thought they were just a puberty thing. I love learning new things. It’s impossible for a healthy adult male to go without ejaculation for very long (more than about a month or so). If a man isn’t ejaculating any other way, it’ll happen in his sleep. If they’re less common after puberty, that’s just because post-pubescent guys generally find adequate opportunities for waking ejaculation. ---
**Author:** ![sich\_hinaufwinden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@sich\_hinaufwinden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sich_hinaufwinden)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/54 "2009-08-31T20:23:36Z")
how is babby batter formed? how boy do wet dreme? ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/55 "2009-08-31T20:41:18Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > If a man isn’t ejaculating any other way, it’ll happen in his sleep. If they’re less common after puberty, that’s just because post-pubescent guys generally find adequate opportunities for waking ejaculation. I wonder what that meant (means?) to all those highly-religious people who believed almost any kind of ejaculation is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111/56 "2009-08-31T20:57:22Z")
My guess is that they don’t like to talk about it much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-they-do-wet-dreams-in-the-army/508111.md?page=2)