# how do ufo's reproduce? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 12, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942 "2000-09-12T21:06:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![straightdope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@straightdope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straightdope)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/1 "2000-09-12T21:06:59Z")
Every ufo I see on tv does not have the usual animal sexual features us humans rely on to define our sexual identity. Are they reported to have sex? If yes, then how? I’ve been sexually attracted to ufo’s since my early childhood. I just hope the media does not turn out to be lies else I’m gonna start the men for ufos Coalition (Activists, support groups, newsletters, etc) to get that ufo hype back up for my fellow ufo horny Americans (I know I’m not alone). If ufos do exist, then what whore shops am I missing, the Oval Office? sd ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/2 "2000-09-12T21:17:06Z")
The UFO’s obviously reproduce via anally probing cows, chickens, and the occasional human being who is silly enough to fall into their poorly concealed traps. On occasion, you will see what appears to be a water tower, but the tower is painted in a checkerboard red and white. This is not your water supply, but a rumpus room specifically designed to cater to UFO anal-probing orgies, complete with the prerequisite 50 gallon drum of K-Y. K-Y, incidentally, was an invention of the UFOs, which they use to facilitate the probing of the tightly-bunged. K-Y refers to the first and last letters of a word unpronounceable by humans. ---
**Author:** ![muppetsoup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aca169/32.png) [@muppetsoup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muppetsoup)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/3 "2000-09-12T21:25:54Z")
UFO stands for Unidentified Flying Object… so anything you see in the sky, you can say ‘its probably a plane’, but since its unidentified to you, its a UFO. That being said, I don’t think UFO’s reproduce… Now that i’ve straightened you out :-), i’ll assume you mean ‘how do aliens reproduce?’. Of course the obvious answer is that they’ve become so dependent on cloning to propogate their species that they’ve lost the ability for sexual reproduction (use it or lose it), hence the frequent visits to earth, to collect genetic stock. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/4 "2000-09-12T21:26:15Z")
Why would you want to have sex with a spaceship? Boeing 747s don’t have sexual organs, either. Perhaps you meant to ask about aliens, rather than the UFOs they travel around in? As to how aliens have sex, seeing as we humans don’t even know of the existence of aliens, there is no possible way that we could say how they reproduce. Even restricting ourselves to the life on our planet that we’re familiar with, there’s still plenty of variety. Birds and fish don’t have any external genitals, male seahorses get pregnant instead of females, some fishes and amphibians can change their sex, some fungi have seventeen different sexes instead of two, etc. ---
**Author:** ![straightdope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@straightdope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straightdope)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/5 "2000-09-12T21:45:38Z")
So these aliens just use their ufo devices to probe our genetic code to produce an ultimate creature. Is there any type of orgasim between the probbing and the animal? Now all I have to do is follow those strangly moving lights in the sky and I might become of their service (lucky for me). ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/6 "2000-09-12T22:38:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by straightdope \* > \*\*So these aliens just use their ufo devices to probe our genetic code to produce an ultimate creature. Is there any type of orgasim between the probbing and the animal? > > Now all I have to do is follow those strangly moving lights in the sky and I might become of their service (lucky for me). \*\* Jeezus Straightdope! Where have you been? You are always late for the party! You were supposed to _STAY_ at the compound with the rest of the group but you had to wander off somewhere and you missed everything! Anyway… if you want to know what happened to the rest of your group here’s the link [http://www.rickross.com/reference/gate4.html](http://www.rickross.com/reference/gate4.html) Now get some a buzz cut, some black clothes and remove your testicles so you’ll be ready for the next go 'round. ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/7 "2000-09-12T22:50:54Z")
Not to hijack but along the same lines : How, with those big slow bulbous fingers, did they ever build ANYTHING much less a computer chip? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/8 "2000-09-12T23:50:36Z")
Maybe what we see and call aliens are just machines, kind of advanced androids, and are grown in vats or something. Perhaps the real advanced beings, the sentient creatures who control the machines, either stay hidden or no longer have a physical form (thank you, Arthur C. Clarke). Just my opinion. BTW, I don’t think Earth has been visited, secretly invaded, or pictured up close by anything other than human. But that’s a thread for Great Debates. ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/9 "2000-09-13T00:02:00Z")
Oh lord, I assumed EVERYONE one on this thread thought that and this was a theoretical discussion! FTR, I side with Derleth. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/10 "2000-09-13T02:13:40Z")
Tinfoil. They use the resonating frequency of tinfoil to generate a response to their egg code locator. Say you’ve got a baked potato, covered in tinfoil, a great Faraday shield, right? Well, yes, **until someone cuts a hole in the top**. They’ve just turned their potato into an intergalactic homing beacon for a Grey egg. Within milliseconds, a transporter transponder has painted the potato, and the Greys’ egg, about the size of a grain of sand, and with a protective coating, has been inserted into the potato. A person eats it, and the cyst passes through the stomach and small intestines, and lodges in the appendix. The pupa gestates for three months, until it is about ready to molt, after which it passes through the remainder of the host’s digestive system, and is sent into the sewer system, eventually getting to the “water treatment plant” (actually a Grey nursery!). Those pupae, after their following molts, eventually become Warrior caste Greys. The Eldar caste Greys need a more exotic upbringing. Selected humans are targeted by the Orbital Mind Control Lasers, and given a particular psychosis. They begin to believe that they must protect themselves by covering their head in — you guessed it — tinfoil. Some believe they’re preventing the mind controls by doing so. If they only knew! Similar to the potato case, with a partial tinfoil shell wrapped about their cranium, the person’s **head** then becomes the target site. The Eldar cysts are then transported directly into the victims’ brains. After they have eaten their fill, the pupae begin to migrate, passing down the spinal column, and finally boring through a large intestine wall, and leaving via a similar route as the Warriors. Of course, in both cases, there are occasional mishaps which require medical attention. Cysts getting stuck, medicinal interactions, etc. But, then, they can usually guide their human lackeys to coax things back on track. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/11 "2000-09-13T02:16:42Z")
Yipe!! :: Ripping off tin-foil hat and quickly stuffing it under the seat :: Wait a minute, that’s what you _want_ us to do, isn’t it? :: Proudly replacing tin-foil hat :: ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/12 "2000-09-13T04:35:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by muppetsoup \* > \*\*UFO stands for Unidentified Flying Object… so anything you see in the sky, you can say ‘its probably a plane’, but since its unidentified to you, its a UFO. That being said, I don’t think UFO’s reproduce… \*\* Obviously you’ve never seen the movie “Batteries not Included” ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/13 "2000-09-13T04:51:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Obviously you’ve never seen the movie “Batteries not Included” That movie kicks ass. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/14 "2000-09-13T05:54:40Z")
UFOs reproduce memetically. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/15 "2000-09-13T06:10:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > Yipe!! > > :: Ripping off tin-foil hat and quickly stuffing it under the seat :: > > Wait a minute, that’s what you _want_ us to do, isn’t it? > > :: Proudly replacing tin-foil hat :: Nonono. If you want to wear a Faraday shield, do so. But wear it all the way around. Use metal mesh for breathing holes and over the ears. I haven’t been implanted with Eldar eggs for over 2 [sup]1[/sup]/[sub]2[/sub] years. And microwave your potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/16 "2000-09-13T06:39:49Z")
Microwave your potatoes?! My God, man, you’re playing right into the Illuminati’s hands if you do that! ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/17 "2000-09-13T16:59:19Z")
You see, when a mommy UFO and a daddy UFO love each other very much, they go into a room to be together. The daddy UFO puts his glufzork in the mommy UFO’s quemast. About ten reinfrabs later, a baby UFO is born. ---
**Author:** ![conway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@conway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/conway)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/18 "2000-09-13T17:23:08Z")
Boy, I could really go for some quemast. ---
**Author:** ![muppetsoup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aca169/32.png) [@muppetsoup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muppetsoup)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/19 "2000-09-13T17:32:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by awldune \* > \*\* > > Obviously you’ve never seen the movie “Batteries not Included” \*\* nope ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942/20 "2000-09-13T17:47:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronos \* > Why would you want to have sex with a spaceship? Boeing 747s don’t have sexual organs, either. You sure about that? If [this](http://members.aol.com/kanale90/webpages/sstack_wflag.html) isn’t the mating of a 747 and a spaceship, I don’t know what is… The only question I have is, did that 747 have a litter of Cesnas 9 month later? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-ufos-reproduce/32942.md?page=2)