# How do we actually \*know\* this is Michael Jackson? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077 "2003-11-25T01:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/1 "2003-11-25T01:01:52Z")
[I mean, dear Lord.](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/mjmug1.html) Really, is there a chain of evidence that this is the same person who sung ‘Ben’ and ‘ABC’. Or even ‘Thriller’, for heaven’s sake. He could have be replaced with this person at any point in the past and _who would know_? ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/2 "2003-11-25T01:23:55Z")
It’s not. I maintain it’s [Gollum](http://webhome.idirect.com/~clzoll/Pic.gif). Note the eyes… nose… cheekbones… the drawn lips in a grimace. Mm-hmm… Gollum! Disguised. But undeniably Gollum. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/3 "2003-11-25T01:28:01Z")
You know, it occurs to me that that’s what a lot of burn victims look like. No wait, the burn victims usually look _better . . ._ ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/4 "2003-11-25T03:54:10Z")
Actually, I had noticed that Nanette Fabray and Michael Jackson possess near-identical noses… ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/5 "2003-11-25T04:42:35Z")
He reminds me of Jack Nicholson in Joker make-up. Actually, the Joker is attractive, comparitively speaking. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/6 "2003-11-25T04:57:17Z")
Hey, **Master Wang-Ka**! Welcome back! But what do you think of the theory that Michael and Janet Jackson are really the same person? At the very least, they must patronize the same plastic surgeon. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/7 "2003-11-25T05:06:39Z")
No, no. It’s Michael and _Latoya_ Janet is the popular, decent and relatively normal Jackson. Oh, please, please, tell me she’s normal enough that she hasn’t gone and named a kid “Pwincess Pwecious” or something that I don’t know about. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/8 "2003-11-25T05:16:35Z")
**EddyTeddy** here ya go. A [photo of Latoya](http://www.latoyajacksondirect.com/html/photo_popups/popup012.html) from… from… her official website… _twitch_ _twitch_ ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/9 "2003-11-25T06:13:16Z")
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!! It’s gotta be true! Latoya and Michael are the _ **same person** _!!! Please, please, tell me there can’t be two of them??? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/10 "2003-11-25T06:41:54Z")
Just looking at the mugshot. It says “Race: B.” Is that still accurate?! ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/11 "2003-11-25T07:01:14Z")
Yeah, mugshots are for identification purposes, right? Would a person who had never seen Michael Jackson before really describe him as “black”? I’d be more inclined towards “killer space zombie,” personally. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/12 "2003-11-25T08:46:00Z")
That THING on the control board can’t be human… can’t be Speaking of the Inhumans Glad to see you Back **MWK** U love your stories ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/13 "2003-11-25T08:57:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Just looking at the mugshot. It says “Race: B.” > > Is that still accurate?! \*\* Sure, if it’s a multiple-choice test question. My race is: A) White / Black / Hispanic / Asian / Pacific Islander / Native American / Inuit / those blue people in the hills of Kentucky / Martian B) Other ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/14 "2003-11-25T10:49:17Z")
He’s 5’11" and weighs 120 pounds?? Plastic must be lighter than human skin, or he might have an eating disorder on top of his myriad other problems. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/15 "2003-11-25T12:28:00Z")
I think I just realized where [Lord Voldemort](http://www.harry-potter-games.com/Lord_Voldemort.htm) has been hiding for the past 15 years. All he needed was a wig, some eyeliner, some lipstick, and about 50 lbs of pancake make-up. Who’d think to look for him in L.A.? ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/16 "2003-11-25T12:34:49Z")
I think this is one of the cases where they need a “Species” part for identification. Seriously, that might be the closest approximation of a real, living extraterrestrial we’ll ever see. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-actually-know-this-is-michael-jackson/215077/17 "2003-11-25T12:47:09Z")
He looks like Latoya and Gollum’s love child. Hmmm…maybe the real Michael died in that accident that set his hair on fire. Latoya substituted her and Gollum’s son (who is also named Michael, after his uncle) and everyone is just pretending that he’s the same guy who sang “Beat It.”