# How do we track immigrants? Use Fedex. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389 "2015-08-30T14:07:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/1 "2015-08-30T14:07:33Z")
This is Chris Christie: > **[Chris Christie Proposes Tracking Immigrants the Way FedEx Tracks Packages...](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/30/us/politics/christie-proposes-immigrant-tracker-similar-to-fedex.html?_r=0)** > > Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey said if he became president he would combat illegal immigration by creating a way to track foreign visitors and ask the chief executive of FedEx to devise the system. From the article. “At any moment, FedEx can tell you where that package is. It’s on the truck. It’s at the station. It’s on the airplane,” Mr. Christie told the crowd in Laconia, N.H. “Yet we let people come to this country with visas, and the minute they come in, we lose track of them.” Mike Huckabee called Fox news this morning and was asked about this. He want’s credit for having created the idea first. He did seem to scoff at the idea of a barcode though, so I guess that’s something. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how on earth they think this is going to work. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/2 "2015-08-30T14:12:14Z")
They don’t think it’s going to work. They see Trump saying dumbass stuff and getting the bottom 30% to cheer him on anyways, so they’re trying to say stuff that’s even dumber. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/3 "2015-08-30T14:42:24Z")
Why just immigrants? Let’s tattoo a barcode on everybody. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/4 "2015-08-30T15:05:32Z")
Tattooing bar codes on people now, governor? **"Chris Christie: Oh, What a Package of Brown can Do for You…!"** ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/5 "2015-08-30T19:14:29Z")
Not only barcode everyone, have a reader at every street corner, so you know where everybody is. And make going off-road illegal. ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/6 "2015-08-30T19:27:20Z")
Excellent idea. Have them implement it and afterwards crowing about this being one of the signs of the Apocalypse/Rapture/Revelations/whatever ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/7 "2015-08-30T20:09:22Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > Not only barcode everyone, have a reader at every street corner, so you know where everybody is. And make going off-road illegal. I came in to say much the same thing. Contrary to Christie’s premise, FedEx does _not_ know where a package “at all times” — the location is updated only when the package changes state. So in order to make the system work readers would have to be placed every few feet and avoiding them would have to be a criminal act. All backed up by armed police drones. (For some reason, “Why don’t you share?” just popped into my head while I was typing the above.) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/8 "2015-08-30T20:24:29Z")
Forget barcodes - implant GPS transmitters and set up centers where they’re monitored - kinda like air traffic controllers do with airplanes. Easy-peasy! Barcodes, indeed - I scoff at barcodes! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/9 "2015-08-30T20:38:26Z")
That tracking system is largely for show and useless when they actually lose something. Someone should point out to him that persons, unlike packages, have free will, are ambulatory, and can remove a label. Are these candidates now competing to see who can say the stupidest shit? Did I miss a memo? ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/10 "2015-08-30T20:44:33Z")
My parents visit Arizona occasionally… I’ll tell 'em to pre-scan themselves in Phoenix now to save time. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/11 "2015-08-30T20:54:39Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Are these candidates now competing to see who can say the stupidest shit? Did I miss a memo? Well, see **Lord Feldon** ’s post (#2) above. Trump has been appealing to the conceit of “good ol’ American know-how,” and the Republican electors love it. Christie is just following suit. Imagine how poor Chris Christie must feel. Trump out Christied him exponentially, and now where is he? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/12 "2015-08-30T21:26:52Z")
And the best part of this FedEx program? We’ll make DHL pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/13 "2015-08-30T22:04:02Z")
I hate to give this idiot any ideas, but we could probably give them cell phones and track those. I don’t think people on visas are the immigration problem though. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/14 "2015-08-30T23:41:47Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > we could probably give them cell phones and track those. I don’t think people on visas are the immigration problem though. … and I could give Boss Hogg a coupon for Famous Dave’s BBQ and track him with a Seismograph. Its ALSO not something I want to see Tax Payer Money spent on. [“Oh that’s it… NOBODY empties out a Church’s Fried Chicken in MY town…!”](https://youtu.be/7aW8oyTgA60?t=47) ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/15 "2015-08-31T00:50:15Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > I don’t think people on visas are the immigration problem though. The data’s not current but the [Pew report](http://www.pewhispanic.org/2006/05/22/modes-of-entry-for-the-unauthorized-migrant-population/) underlying some of the current claims really did see it as a big chunk of the problem. One number in the link is 41%. Anotehr is a range of 33-50%. The only person I knew who was here illegally simply over stayed their visa by a couple years before self deporting back to Canada. There was zero enforcement or tracking. Nobody checked when the visa expired. They just stayed without changing address or phone number. The legal system really is very porous. For effectiveness even some small improvements in tracking is likely the best bang for the enforcement buck. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/16 "2015-08-31T01:00:12Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > I don’t think people on visas are the immigration problem though. About 40% of illegal immigrants are due to coming into the country legally and overstaying their visas. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/17 "2015-08-31T15:29:04Z")
I seem to recall another fellow wanting to code people he considered unreliable. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/18 "2015-08-31T15:32:08Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Why just immigrants? Let’s tattoo a barcode on everybody. That’s fine, but let’s not get any big ideas that we should track guns. There’s still a thing called freedom, ya know. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/19 "2015-08-31T16:39:56Z")
As long as the gun has a jammer to defeat the barcode-on-forehead trackers everything will be fine. Only gun-owners will be free. Exactly as their Gawd intended. :rolleyes:😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheSeaOtter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed655f/32.png) [@TheSeaOtter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSeaOtter)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-track-immigrants-use-fedex/729389/20 "2015-08-31T16:54:49Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > That’s fine, but let’s not get any big ideas that we should track guns. There’s still a thing called freedom, ya know. I was going to make a ‘Christie wants to confiscate all your people’ joke (because, you know, ‘guns don’t kill people…’ + ‘gun-grabber!’, etc). Except I guess he actually does. So, you know, not a good joke.