# How do you address a nun? (NAF) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 15, 2009, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508 "2009-03-15T08:33:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/21 "2009-03-15T16:37:42Z")
> [@MeDrewNotYou](#): > > Relatedly, a monk would probably be ‘Brother X’, but what about the abbot? ‘Abbot James’ sounds pretty awkward, but 'Brother James doesn’t seem to accord him with the appropriate respect. Some (but not all) abbots are also ordained priests, in which case, I guess, the correct form of address would be “Father X”. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/22 "2009-03-15T16:39:34Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > My goal is to be polite and well-mannered. YMMV. > > Back on topic- “Sister” is always polite and a good start. Sometimes I am unsure about “Brother” vs. “Father” if I don’t know them personally, but one can always ask- it shows good manners. A monk, or a lay brother of a non-monastic order, is addressed as “Brother.” Only an ordained priest is addressed as “Father.” You’ll usually know one from the other from the context in which you meet them. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/23 "2009-03-15T16:41:51Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > Well, if your goal is to flatter people, then I agree, call them whatever you want. But if you believe, like me, that society should be egalitarian, and that our use of language should reflect that, then you will eschew honorifics that mark people as having some special status, whether it is a simple “sister” or a highfalutin “your most illustrious and reverend eminence”. How about if one’s goal is simply to be polite? I think honorifics like “Brother” and “Sister” sound pretty egalitarian anyway, but I have no issues with addressing someone as “Rabbi”, “Imam”, “Father”, “Doctor” and so on. I don’t think there’s any flattery involved. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/24 "2009-03-15T16:44:52Z")
I never address nuns out of habit. ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/25 "2009-03-15T16:48:24Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > A monk, or a lay brother of a non-monastic order, is addressed as “Brother.” Only an ordained priest is addressed as “Father.” You’ll usually know one from the other from the context in which you meet them. What about the monks who have a prior or abbot that sends them off to be ordained? Some monks are fathers. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/26 "2009-03-15T16:49:44Z")
> [@](#): > > A monk, or a lay brother of a non-monastic order, is addressed as “Brother.” Only an ordained priest is addressed as “Father.” You’ll usually know one from the other from the context in which you meet them. Some orders have more of one or the other, as well. So far as I know, the Brothers of the Holy Cross don’t have any priests among them at all, but the Benedictines are mostly priests, for instance. And an abbot or prior should be addressed as “Abbot So-and-so” or “Prior So-and-so”, so “Abbot James” would be correct. Note that abbot and prior are not the same thing: A prior is lower than an abbot, and either presides over a monastery that does not have an abbot, or acts as an assistant to the abbot in an abbey. ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/27 "2009-03-15T16:53:55Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > And an abbot or prior should be addressed as “Abbot So-and-so” or “Prior So-and-so”, so “Abbot James” would be correct. Note that abbot and prior are not the same thing: A prior is lower than an abbot, and either presides over a monastery that does not have an abbot, or acts as an assistant to the abbot in an abbey. Although, it should be noted that many prioresses just go by “Sister So-and-so”. Our’s also occasionally goes by “The P”, or, on one memorable occasion, “Her P-ness”. It was a joking play on “Her Highness”, but it didn’t stick as a new nick name. I wonder why…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/28 "2009-03-15T16:56:56Z")
Missed the edit window: > [@](#): > > What about the monks who have a prior or abbot that sends them off to be ordained? Some monks are fathers. An abbot doesn’t need to send anyone off to be ordained; he can do it himself. An abbot is for almost all purposes equivalent to a bishop, just with a relatively small community. This also implies that all abbots are priests: A non-priest leader of a monastery would necessarily be a prior. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/29 "2009-03-15T17:02:50Z")
> [@MissMossie](#): > > What about the monks who have a prior or abbot that sends them off to be ordained? Some monks are fathers. In that case just call him daddyo or pops;) ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/30 "2009-03-15T17:11:26Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > But if you believe, like me, that society should be egalitarian, and that our use of language should reflect that, then you will eschew honorifics that mark people as having some special status, whether it is a simple “sister” or a highfalutin “your most illustrious and reverend eminence”. So should we assume that if you’re called before a judge, you also refuse to say “your honor”? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/31 "2009-03-15T17:43:38Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > Well, if your goal is to flatter people, then I agree, call them whatever you want. But if you believe, like me, that society should be egalitarian, and that our use of language should reflect that, then you will eschew honorifics that mark people as having some special status, whether it is a simple “sister” or a highfalutin “your most illustrious and reverend eminence”. > [@tim314](#): > > So should we assume that if you’re called before a judge, you also refuse to say “your honor”? [Moderating] The OP is requesting information on formal modes of address. Let’s not turn this into a debate about what the proper modes of address in society “should” be. If you want to discuss that topic, please open another thread in GD. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/32 "2009-03-15T18:56:05Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I never address nuns out of habit. Are you that shy? Or is this wimple cowardice? Trying to convent confusion? I know so much of this is out of order, my shame can only be measured by a sister taking a ruler to my penance. _ouch_ ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/33 "2009-03-15T21:28:17Z")
Aren’t nuns, by definition, never married? Then why would “Ms.” be appropriate? I think of “Ms.” as an ambiguous title to use when the distinction between the unmarried “Miss” and the married “Mrs.” is to be not revealed, not desired, or not important. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/34 "2009-03-15T22:03:52Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I never address nuns out of habit. I’m sure they wimple at the very thought. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/35 "2009-03-15T23:15:34Z")
> [@Jormungandr](#): > > In person, Sister (First name). As for the abbess, Mother Superior. I was taught never to use the Mother Superior’s name, but to address her just as that. However, **MissMorie** noted that some prefer NOT to be called that. I wouldn’t use it until I’ve been assured that it is her preferred form of address. Maybe I’m alone here, but it seems to me that when it comes to addressing nuns one doesn’t know the proper form of address to use yet, “Mother Superior” jumps the gun. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/36 "2009-03-15T23:28:39Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Aren’t nuns, by definition, never married?.. Technically they’re married to Jesus/God/the Church. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/37 "2009-03-16T01:12:04Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I never address nuns out of habit. And when was the last time you saw one out of habit? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/38 "2009-03-16T01:18:47Z")
If you are Ed Norton you just say, “Helloooooo, nun.” (Same as with a golf ball.) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/39 "2009-03-16T01:19:50Z")
How many times have I seen one out of habit? Nun. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508/40 "2009-03-16T01:35:06Z")
You might find out from the initial greeting: “Good morning, I’m Quartz”. “Good morning Quartz. I’m Sister Margaret”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-address-a-nun-naf/489508.md?page=3)