# How do you and your SO share driving? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 20, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385 "2006-07-20T20:06:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/21 "2006-07-20T21:09:51Z")
A and I have worked out the driving thing. We switch off and each drive approximately 50% of the time. We bitch about the other drivers on the road, not our driving. Though, we do tease each other mercilessly if one of us does anything that we berate other drivers for. ---
**Author:** ![stargazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@stargazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stargazer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/22 "2006-07-20T21:10:58Z")
I do almost all of the driving, unless he’s dropping me off or something. I really like to drive, and he doesn’t. Also it’s “my” car (I got it before we got married – after we were engaged, though – so that was just how it started, and we’ve sort of continued). ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/23 "2006-07-20T21:13:30Z")
Since I do a lot of driving with the kids during the day while he bikes to work, he usually drives when we’re together. But not always–sometimes I do. On long trips he does most of it, and I read. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/24 "2006-07-20T21:20:39Z")
Funny how many folk share driving unequally. My wife drives most of the time - probably 95%. As with others, she dislikes various things about how I drive. (I dislike things about how she drives as well, but don’t think it is in the passenger’s place to criticize the driver if not endangered.) She also has a bad back, and says it is better if she drives and can anticipate braking, turns, etc. Sometimes I’ll drive if she wants to work on sewing or something. I don’t drink, so she always has a designated driver. On long trips, she always takes the earlier routes, and prefers to let me drive in construction, in mountains, over bridges, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/25 "2006-07-20T21:22:28Z")
It’s very easy: he drives. Period. In fact, he always controls everything\* - the car, the TV remote, the window seat on the plane, the boat, the dinghy, the radio channel in the car, the music played on the iPod, you name it. :rolleyes: Once when he was poop-faced drunk I insisted he give me the car keys, and he refused. I took the train home. - Except me. He hasn’t figured out how to control me yet. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/26 "2006-07-20T21:26:52Z")
I don’t like to drive, so Kevin drives most of the time. I will spell him at the driving on long trips if he needs a break. And I drive when he’s drunk or (if he ever was) sick. And I drive when I’m dropping him off somewhere or picking him up. He’s taller than I am, so I’d have to walk around and get in the driver’s seat, adjust the seat and mirrors and so on. Seems like too much trouble, so I just drive then. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/27 "2006-07-20T21:37:55Z")
It depends on which car we’re taking. If we’re taking the station wagon or the Prius, he drives. (I hate that station wagon - it’s huge and we only use it for towing the jet ski or getting stuff from Lowes.) If we’re taking the Wrangler, I drive. She’s my baby, and I have the seat and mirriors adjusted the way I want them. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/28 "2006-07-20T21:50:39Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Well, stay off the sidewalk, then! [/QUOTE] In Long Island traffic? That’s the only way I ever get where I’m going! ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/29 "2006-07-20T22:00:15Z")
When we’re together, Mr. Stuff drives almost all of the time. I don’t really like to drive, and he typically doesn’t mind, so it’s an easy decision. I do have to do a fair amount of navigation; he’s a country boy and gets confused (read: doesn’t bother to pay attention) if there are more than, say, four buildings in a general area. I point out lane changes and turns and parking spots. I’m sure anyone listening to the conversation would think I am a condescending pain in the butt, but he actually prefers that I do this and gets mad if I refuse to navigate. On long highway trips, he drives and I spell him occasionally for an hour or so. When we get to a large city, we stop and I drive. He freaks out under the pressure of so many cars in one place, but I lived in a city for several years and can ramp up my assertive-driving mode as needed. I really don’t like driving, though. I fear that I will not be a good soccer mom. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/30 "2006-07-20T22:06:17Z")
I drive. She prays. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/31 "2006-07-20T22:12:15Z")
When we’re together, I do probably 98% of the driving, even on road trips. I will usually only turn over the wheel if I’m too tired to drive safely. This is in no way a reflection on **Jakeline** ’s driving, because I know that she has “mad skillz,” as it were. 😃 I’ve been a very nervous passenger since I was in a bad accident at the age of 15, and I just _like_ being in control of the car (in addition to enjoying the pleasure of driving in general). Although she also enjoys driving, she is generally kind enough to let me drive for as long as I want. But I am grateful that during those times when I really _can’t_ drive, I am comfortable being her passenger. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/32 "2006-07-20T22:13:22Z")
[QUOTE=yellowval] I don’t drive fast enough (um, maybe that’s why I’ve never had a ticket?) or aggressively enough for his taste… [/quote] Yep, that’s it. When we go on trips, I’m content to stick to the middle lane, passing when the need arises, and use the cruise control. He has the attitude of wanting to pass everyone NOW, and wants to get to the destination yesterday. > [@](#): > > … The worst part is that we mostly take my car on account of his Explorer is a gas hog, and I hate it when I get back in after he’s driven and have to put everything back the way I like it. He always messes up the seat and takes the flower out of my bud vase. That’s my gripe, too. He puts the seat way back, changes the seatback and the lumbar support. It’s such a stupid thing to argue about - he clicks the lumbar support off, while saying, “Why do you always have this thing on? It’s uncomfortable! Keep it off.” Umm, it’s my car, and I like it. :rolleyes: Plus I have to readjust the mirrors. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/33 "2006-07-20T22:35:05Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > though the one real drawback is that she hates Thomas Guide maps (how could you hate them?!?) and those are the only maps I carry. :eek: Is she from New Jersey or something? > [@YaWanna](#): > > We now have a hard & fast rule regarding this matter: I will drive him anywhere at any time, as long as he’s unconscious and bleeding profusely. So if he’s unconscious but not bleeding, he can drive? It’s surprising how many SOs (predominantly male, though apparently a few female) here are “shotgun drivers”. I hope they don’t comment on other peoples’ perceived shortcomings (particularly those of their SO) when they’re not in cars! > [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > She may drive me more than I drive her. > > I drive a long way to get to and from work, so when we go elsewhere together, I don’t care to drive. > > But for longer road trips, we split the driving pretty equally. I’d probably be the same way. I drive a relatively long way to my classes–although having lived in one of those cold climates I know you guys have a less inclusive definition of “long drive” than we do here–and I prefer to drive as little as possible the rest of the day. In fact, I try not to drive at all, by taking the trolley to school. (Doesn’t always work when I have 8:00 classes, as I don’t fully function until at least 9:00, class or not, and I often miss the 6:59 trolley.) Anyway, I’m not a big fan of driving. I love the convenience of being able to go anywhere in a short time, but I don’t like doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/34 "2006-07-20T22:43:41Z")
We split it pretty evenly, but we’ve been fighting over it recently (I always win, since I point out that he sits up front on the bike 90% of the time but not for long!). I’m sure the new car novelty will wear off soon, to be replaced by commuter’s drudgery. Then everything will be back to normal. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/35 "2006-07-20T22:48:10Z")
Easy: she drives, I take the bus. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/36 "2006-07-20T23:14:09Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] :eek: Is she from New Jersey or something? [/quote] Naw, she’s a country girl. She doesn’t like the page-turning and gets confused by the NSEW arrows that direct her to different pages and different scale views. Inexplicably, she prefers the folding/unfolding/squinting-at-tiny-print of the traditional type, but I love her anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/37 "2006-07-20T23:18:54Z")
😃 A true California love story. (Seriously, though, how can you not love Thomas Guides? You can actually see all the details, and you don’t have to wrestle with the damn thing just to get it open or closed.) ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/38 "2006-07-20T23:36:51Z")
I drive most of the time. mr.stretch gets frustrated in city traffic, but if we are taking a long trip, he does some of the highway driving. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/39 "2006-07-20T23:44:45Z")
My boyfriend drives, but then it _is_ his car so that makes sense. Although I do prefer that he drives. I don’t really like driving very much, and somewhere in my primal feminine heart, it feels good to let him be in charge. ---
**Author:** ![Tamryne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@Tamryne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamryne)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385/40 "2006-07-20T23:45:11Z")
Usually comes down to whose car has more gas. If one of us is almost out, then the other will drive. Otherwise we both like to drive (although my road rage is worse), so whoever calls it first gets to drive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-and-your-so-share-driving/365385.md?page=3)