# How do you ask out customer service people? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455 "2010-08-06T21:46:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/41 "2010-08-08T18:37:01Z")
Whip your cock out and say “You like?” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/42 "2010-08-08T19:48:22Z")
Touch me and I call security so fast they’ll actually _go back in time_ to haul you out of the library. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/43 "2010-08-08T21:13:58Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Thanks for the input. Although I wonder, what if you don’t really have a reason to be there except for engaging in a transaction or asking them out? To be specific, I’m thinking of an optometrist’s saleswoman. > > I don’t see how I could be on a first name basis or engage with her outside the customer/vendor relationship. > > In your examples, how would you ask out a waitress? If you’re in the bar/restaurant, it’s likely to be as a patron. > > There must be some obvious way I’m missing. > > Is asking tem out after the financial transaction is over ok or still off limits? It’s not exactly a hard and fast rule. Basically what you want to avoid is setting up a situation where you are using her obligation to talk to you in a customer service capacity to force her to endure your romantic overtures. For example, bothering the waitress while she’s serving you. A better plan IMHO would be to just be friendly and make casual small talk to her during the meal. If she seems interested in engaging you in conversation, wait until after the bill is paid and everyone else is on their way out and then casually ask her out. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/44 "2010-08-09T04:38:24Z")
If I understand correctly, the OP is interacting with the optometrist’s assistant not as a customer but as a prospective coworker, yes? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/45 "2010-08-09T04:51:22Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > If I understand correctly, the OP is interacting with the optometrist’s assistant not as a customer but as a prospective coworker, yes? In this particular case, yes. But I’m much more likely to interact with people as a customer than as a potential coworker so I asked in that quality. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/46 "2010-08-09T05:18:30Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > > [@Hades](#): > > > > Do you realize how creepy your comment is? You seem to be saying that it’s okay to corner someone and harass them because they did not answer repeated calls. If someone isn’t answering your calls, they’re either busy or do not want to talk to you. The person ignoring the calls isn’t the one committing a “faux pas” in this situation, it’s the clueless person who thinks it’s okay to invade someone else’s workplace and personal space to get answers they feel entitled to, but are not. > > > > What the fuck. > > Well on the flip side it can be very frustrating that almost all women feel avoiding someone or standing them up is the best course of action when they decide they don’t want to date someone instead of doing the respectful thing and simply saying so. Uh…how many men have you ever heard ask “Why hasn’t **she** called?” (google it, you’ll see the he version of that quote is 3x as common) Men are at least as likely to avoid women rather than doing the respectful thing and informing them that there will be no romantic future between them. It’s basic human nature to avoid confronting people with unpleasant revelations, not a girl or guy thing. As for the rest of the thread, let me echo the plead that you please don’t touch strangers. I find it more than a little disarming when strange _little old ladies_ play with my hair without asking, so I sure as hell wouldn’t want a strange man touching me at work. While meant in a friendly way, I don’t think some people realize that being overly familiar physically can easily feel vaguely threatening, especially if the person being overly familiar is a lot bigger than you. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/47 "2010-08-09T08:14:41Z")
Nthing the call to not touch someone unless you’re 1000% that you’re welcome to do so, which isn’t going to happen at a time when she’s on the clock and required to maintain a sense of decorum with you, whether you’re a legit customer or not. You do not have a right to touch a stranger. > [@Rigamarole](#): > > Well on the flip side it can be very frustrating that almost all women feel avoiding someone or standing them up is the best course of action when they decide they don’t want to date someone instead of doing the respectful thing and simply saying so. Yes, but it could very well be that in the case of a dude with so little sense that he corners a woman in a public place, her place of work, to berate her for not returning his calls, that she was trying to gently disengage from him out a sense that he was an irrational, inappropriate and potentially violent person. Which he proved to be true. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/48 "2010-08-09T11:45:37Z")
I bet merging this thread with **Todderbob’s** “[Stop Flirting](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=573967)” would cause a planetary implosion. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/49 "2010-08-09T12:15:48Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Touch me and I call security so fast they’ll actually _go back in time_ to haul you out of the library. _poke_ ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/50 "2010-08-09T14:00:48Z")
> [@GHO57](#): > > > [@Zsofia](#): > > > > Touch me and I call security so fast they’ll actually _go back in time_ to haul you out of the library. > > _poke_ Quick! Memorize some lottery numbers!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/51 "2010-08-09T14:11:07Z")
Look, they’re not Time Lords. We’re talking minutes here, not days. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455/52 "2010-08-09T19:47:13Z")
I work in customer service and have only ever working in customer service. I _hate it_ when customers ask me out. I have never once been interested in a customer romantically (even when I was single which was a long time ago) or as a friend, but many people have assumed I am. That said I think if someone was trying to gauge my interest the most painless way would simply be for them to leave me their number and tell me to call with a smile. Don’t make me reject you in front of everyone, just give me the opportunity to get in touch with you/make plans if I want to - outside of my workplace. And don’t fucking touch me when I’m just trying to do my job and be friendly to you. Of course it makes me uncomfortable! IME only weirdos with poor boundaries will do this to their server/barista/bartender/salesperson, and the behavior usually escalates. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-ask-out-customer-service-people/549455.md?page=2)