# How do you catch a polar Bear? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2006, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673 "2006-03-31T08:07:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/1 "2006-03-31T08:07:20Z")
How do you catch a polar bear? Well, you find a hole in the ice, sprinkle a bunch of peas around it, and go hide. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole! Apologies, my young niece made me post that…staring over my shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/2 "2006-03-31T14:55:57Z")
Guessing your niece’s age from the observation that she is watching you type and she insisted you post the joke, I think I must have been around her age when my dad told that joke to me. I still tell it. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/3 "2006-03-31T15:01:40Z")
> [@Klaatu](#): > > How do you catch a polar bear? > Well, you find a hole in the ice, sprinkle a bunch of peas around it, and go hide. > When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole! I haven’t heard that one in years. Still cracks me up though! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/4 "2006-03-31T15:07:05Z")
A polar bear would never take a pea, they are strictly carnivores. The joke fails at that point. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/5 "2006-03-31T15:27:24Z")
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? Dam. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/6 "2006-03-31T17:41:04Z")
But really if you want to catch a polar bear - You get a whale whisker (it’s kind of like a spring that straightens out) you wrap it into a coil and you freeze it in some seal lard. You leave it out for the bear. The bear swallows the piece of lard whole. It unfreezes in his stomach. The whale whisker straightens out piercing two holes in the bear that are incompatible with life more often then not. Cook the bear to taste and enjoy. That’s how the tribals do it; you could also just use a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/7 "2006-03-31T20:16:41Z")
Now you must tell silly jokes back to her. How do you catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique up on it. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/8 "2006-03-31T20:20:01Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > How do you catch a Unique Rabbit? > > Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame one? ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/9 "2006-03-31T20:23:42Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > How do you catch a tame one? The tame way. How do you kill a wabbit? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/10 "2006-03-31T20:30:19Z")
> [@Electronic Chaos](#): > > How do you kill a wabbit? C4? ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/11 "2006-03-31T20:45:57Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > C4? Noo, with a wok. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/12 "2006-03-31T20:49:16Z")
> [@Electronic Chaos](#): > > Noo, with a wok. That was too cute. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/13 "2006-03-31T20:59:40Z")
It’s easier to make a rabbit stir fry in a wok if you use C4 first though. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/14 "2006-03-31T21:01:59Z")
My favorite joke for 4-7 year -olds: What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/15 "2006-03-31T21:39:59Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > A polar bear would never take a pea, they are strictly carnivores. > The joke fails at that point. > > 😛 Polar bears are [actually omnivores](http://www.buschgardens.org/infobooks/PolarBears/pbdiet.html) (thought predominately carnivores) so, zombie-like, the joke lives again! > [@](#): > > When other food is unavailable, polar bears eat reindeer, small rodents, seabirds, ducks, fish, eggs, vegetation (including kelp), berries, and human garbage. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/16 "2006-03-31T23:15:09Z")
Here’s one I thought up the other day. Don’t ask me why I think up such jokes - I’ve not the foggiest idea. What is a chicken’s favorite vegetable? Bwak-olli ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/17 "2006-03-31T23:48:45Z")
1: Knock, knock. 2: Who’s there? 1: Ether. 2: Ether who? 1: Ether bunny. Knock, knock. 2. Who’s there? 1. Cargo. 2. Cargo who? 3. Cargo “meep meep” and run over Ether bunny. Knock, knock. 4. Who’s there? 5. Boo. 6. Boo who? 7. Don’t cry, Ether bunny’ll be back next year. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/18 "2006-03-31T23:52:11Z")
Up in northern Arizona near the extinct volcanos, there is a huge amount of volcanic ash. So, the same story works there only with a black bear, and “ash-hole.” ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2006, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/19 "2006-04-01T02:45:32Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > 1: Knock, knock. > 2: Who’s there? > 1: Ether. > 2: Ether who? > 1: Ether bunny. Knock, knock. > 2. Who’s there? > > 1. Cargo. > 2. Cargo who? > 3. Cargo “meep meep” and run over Ether bunny. Knock, knock. > 4. Who’s there? > 5. Boo. > 6. Boo who? > 7. Don’t cry, Ether bunny’ll be back next year. This reminded me of one from my wife: 1. Knock Knock 2. Who’s there? 3. Nudder. 4. Nudder who? 5. Nudder Ether Bunny ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673/20 "2006-04-01T03:34:14Z")
Q: What’s the definitoin of an ethernet? A: Something you use to catch the Ether Bunny. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-catch-a-polar-bear/350673.md?page=2)