# How do you deal with highly religious people **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 1, 2015, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095 "2015-12-01T04:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/41 "2015-12-02T03:21:23Z")
They’re trying to do so because they consider you part of the congregation, and want everyone to contribute. That’s very common in a church group. You joined, so you’re part of the group, ergo, they think it would be perfectly reasonable for you to contribute as well. Quite honestly, I don’t think you’re trying to learn. The main purpose of a church is to celebrate their belief system. I don’t think they’d mind someone challenging their beliefs a bit, but of course they’re going to promote them to you so strongly-- that’s the whole point. A church isn’t a debate club. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/42 "2015-12-02T04:11:37Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > If you don’t want to talk about religion, maybe don’t join a church group. > > Perhaps you could join a bowling club, or toastmasters, or something else to meet people. I’m in Toastmasters, and your post made me giggle SO much: "The local Toastmasters group I joined is highly interested in public speaking. They make speeches and talk about public speaking throughout the whole meeting. They invited me out for drinks after the meeting once, and would you believe they just kept right on talking about public speaking? I try to tell that it isn’t important to improve your speaking skills, but they just argue with me. They even try to show how the communication and leadership skills they’ve learned there have helped them in everyday situations. I ask them to prove that it was actually things they learned at Toastmasters specifically that helped, but it just becomes a circular argument. Really nice people and most of the principles of what they go by are fine with me but they can be very rigid and stubborn in their notion that communication skills are important, especially when I’m challenging their arguments. I don’t want to overly annoy them but I think I have annoyed them with my constant bickering against their arguments. How does a person who doesn’t think public speaking skills are important deal with those freaks who attend Toastmasters meetings?" ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/43 "2015-12-02T05:07:31Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > No rational, thoughtful, well-educated person likes Brussels sprouts. > > (I said it. I believe it. That settles it.) Say what? I’ve started eating them in cold weather, if cooked properly I find that they can be quite tasty. Ehhhhhhhh, OK. Point taken.:o As far as religious people go, if I do hang round with religious people I don’t talk about religion. If that’s their only topic of conversation, I’m gone. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/44 "2015-12-02T05:09:46Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > You joined a church group and now you’re complaining that all they can talk about is religion? Isn’t that like going to a comics store and complaining that they don’t sell vegetables? I’m Christian, and we talk about lots of things other than religion. OP, I think this congregation is not the one for you, and you should find one that fits you better. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/45 "2015-12-02T05:40:54Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’m Christian, and we talk about lots of things other than religion. At Christian functions? With nothing but fellow Christians with whom to converse? What else do you talk about? ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/46 "2015-12-02T09:54:10Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > If you don’t want to talk about religion, maybe don’t join a church group. > > Perhaps you could join a bowling club, or toastmasters, or something else to meet people. Or a Unitarian Church. Or a Humanist/atheist/agnostic meetup group. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/47 "2015-12-02T09:59:14Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > At Christian functions? With nothing but fellow Christians with whom to converse? What else do you talk about? Politics, sports, family, TV series, the latest movies, school options… The biggest differences between lunch at my parish and one anywhere else is the catering (potluck vs paid), and Grace chanted loud enough to ensure that even if God isn’t wearing His aids He’ll hear it. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/48 "2015-12-02T16:13:20Z")
I usually change the subject & move on. When people ask me “what my kids will be raised to be,” I usually deliberately misunderstand them and say that I hope they’ll be good people and strong contributors to whatever community in which they choose to live. If pressed, I let them know that half my family is Jewish, half is Christian and I married a man who was raised Hindu. I’m now agnostic and my husband is an atheist, so I’ll make sure they’re as informed as possible and let them make their own choices. People are remarkably pushy when it comes to children and religion. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/49 "2015-12-02T16:36:55Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Politics, sports, family, TV series, the latest movies, school options… This. 🙂 In the Sunday School group which I attend at my church, we also have a fantasy football league, many of the members are also active in a community theater group, and most of us are nerds of various stripes. Several of us even talk about Dungeons & Dragons while in the confines of a Christian church! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/50 "2015-12-02T17:28:33Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Politics, sports, family, TV series, the latest movies, school options… We’re Lutherans, so of course we also talk about Jello casseroles and beer. Luther was a big fan of beer. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/51 "2015-12-02T17:52:24Z")
> [@ssgenius](#): > > As mentioned, I am trying to understand them and their thinking. > They are not trying to get me to sell anything but they are very subtly trying to get me to fund some of their projects which involves building a bigger church and expanding their school building. > > It may sound like I am observing them but I am trying to learn as well. Have you, at any point in your life, been involved in a church organization? It seems like you have not because otherwise you would know that fundraising is what they do. It is how the church exists. You join, you participate, you contribute. It’s like you’re walking in to a store and asking them to convince you to buy their product, but oh by the way I’m never going to buy it. In fact I’m incredibly happy without it. ---
**Author:** ![ssgenius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@ssgenius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ssgenius)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095/52 "2015-12-04T01:32:29Z")
Thanks, That is the best explanation I have received to date and it makes perfect sense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-deal-with-highly-religious-people/739095.md?page=2)