This. I’ve driven thru Chicago on the freeway, and I’ve changed planes at the Salt Lake City airport, but I wouldn’t say I’ve “been to” either city.
I don’t feel I’ve really “been” to a country unless I go through customs and out of the airport. I’ve been through airports in a number of countries that I don’t count as having “been” there. Through customs and out of the airport, into the open air under the sky, is my rule.
IMHO you need to either spend at least an hour or two in a public non-transport related area- walking around, people watching at a park, visiting a site or whatever. I don’t count passing through, nor do I count meals or even an overnight stay if all you do is go in to a building, do your thing and come back out again. For years I didn’t count my two nights in Ethiopia, because all I did was take a bus to a hotel, sleep, and then go back to the airport.
Basically, it doesn’t count if you can’t come up with a decent story about it. Because you don’t want to be the one who says “Oh oh I’ve been to Ethiopia!!!” “Oh yeah? What’s it like?” “Uh, a room at an airport hotel?”
The exception would be if you are in a situation like a secured work site (military bad, etc.) and you cannot go out and about. That’s a story of its own, so I’ll count it after a full day.
I quite like this definition, I guess I didn’t consider it because I’ve been fortunate enough not to have been in that situation that I can recall - i.e. for me, options 4 and 5 have always coincided.
ETA: actually, not always - what I mean is that option 4 has always entailed option 5, but clearly not vice versa as there are plenty of places I have been to on day trips.