# How Do You Define Sobriety? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 15, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384 "2014-02-15T00:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/41 "2014-02-17T18:16:13Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > My experience is with Overeaters Anonymous (OA), rather than AA. Since it’s obviously impossible to maintain 100% abstinence in OA, people have to define their own sobriety. It’s not impossible to have 100% abstinence. Just not for very long. 😃 You’ve hit on the key problem, though: AA’s insistence that even a good sniff of an alcoholic drink constitutes falling off the wagon. This degree of extremism has undoubtedly hurt and driven away more people than it’s helped. The programs that take a more graduated position, allowing individual consumption and definition of “sobriety,” are far better grounded in rationality and behavioral science. (Is AA science-based at any level? Or just the religiousy maunderings of a failed Depression-era businessman?) ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/42 "2014-02-17T18:22:53Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > The sobarbeque. For traditionalists, that is; us nouveau types just get gassed. Two points each, for you and **kayaker** That’s with an ‘o’. No pints, I’m afraid. ---
**Author:** ![Meloy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Meloy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meloy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/43 "2014-02-17T18:36:33Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > My experience is with Overeaters Anonymous (OA), rather than AA. Since it’s obviously impossible to maintain 100% abstinence in OA, people have to define their own sobriety. Although I have issues with OA, I like the concept of defining an individual sobriety that works for you. What do you think, **Meloy**? Do you feel that that 5% beer was a slip for you? It sounds like in the short term, at least, it didn’t lead to further drinking or associated issues. I am continually redefining what I consider to be my sobriety as far as eating is concerned. As long as I am healthy, happy, not eating emotionally and not having problems related to unhealthy eating, I consider myself to be sober. Ultimately, what’s important is not a specific number of days that you have been sober, it’s that you are sober today, and plan to be sober tomorrow. I am completely okay with my single beer. I also plan to completely destroy my own defined sobriety at some point by some day drinking to drunkenness again. It’s the pattern of drunkenness that I am fighting (and so far winning) against, not just the experience of drunkenness. This thread is really nothing more than to see what others think. I’m totally at peace with my relationship with alcohol at present. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/44 "2014-02-17T18:42:20Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > It’s not impossible to have 100% abstinence. Just not for very long. 😃 > > You’ve hit on the key problem, though: AA’s insistence that even a good sniff of an alcoholic drink constitutes falling off the wagon. This degree of extremism has undoubtedly hurt and driven away more people than it’s helped. The programs that take a more graduated position, allowing individual consumption and definition of “sobriety,” are far better grounded in rationality and behavioral science. > > (Is AA science-based at any level? Or just the religiousy maunderings of a failed Depression-era businessman?) I both agree and disagree with you. There is a class of alcoholic who cannot take a sip without setting of a phenomina of craving that may last for weeks or even until his death. Others with a less severe form can go back to moderate drinking but it is questionable as to if they were true alcoholics to start with. ``` Something often preached in AA that I had a hard time accepting but do accept now is that no matter how long an alcoholic remains sober his disease will continue to progress. Every aa club in town will have stories of long time sober members who decided to take a drink and were dead a month later. It is a serous disease. Others like myself had issues in their life they were able to deal with and move on and absolute abstinance is really not neccessary. Another cliche is, alcohol is cunning baffling and powerful and it will sweet talk you into thinking you can have just one. This is also true. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/45 "2014-02-17T19:25:38Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Sorry, I have absolutely no experience with sobriety. I’ll drink to that! ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/46 "2014-02-17T20:26:51Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > A better analogy would be to chastity than to virginity, anyway, including the fact that it’s not relevant to many people, and important to many others. I think you hit the nail on the head there, Steophan. I would say the OP has been “sober” since January, but has been “OK” (for want of a better term) since July, 2013. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/47 "2014-02-17T21:10:41Z")
I’m actually having a similar situation to the OP. I quit drinking in December, but I had a sip of beer the other night, completely by accident. So I don’t know how long I’ve been “sober.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/48 "2014-02-18T01:07:02Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > I had a sip of beer the other night, completely by accident. I am so borrowing that.😃 ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/49 "2014-02-18T01:10:03Z")
Haha. 🙂 What happened is that I wanted a sip of my water glass but I grabbed someone else’s beer by accident. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/50 "2014-02-18T01:11:10Z")
> [@Meloy](#): > > I quit drinking on July 28, 2013 and didn’t have a drop to drink until this past January, when I had one pint of 5% ABV beer that didn’t give me a buzz. > > I’ve not had a drink since then. Would you consider me to still be sober? Careful looking back, lest you might turn into a pillar of salt. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/51 "2014-02-18T03:48:23Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Haha. 🙂 What happened is that I wanted a sip of my water glass but I grabbed someone else’s beer by accident. Where there is no intent, there is no breaking of sobriety. I’ve had similar things happen to me in my eating sobriety, and I don’t find it useful to say “I haven’t eaten “x” in 5 years (except of course for that one time that it was an ingredient in something I ate and didn’t know it).” That situation in no way affects my emotional commitment to abstinence. I will say that for me, there are certain foods from which I _must_ remain abstinent. Every time I think, “How bad could it be to just have it one time?” disaster results. I have to believe that this problem is even greater with alcohol, where there are specific biological addictive effects for some people. So while 100% abstinence is not necessary for some people, there are others for whom there really isn’t a middle ground. ---
**Author:** ![Meloy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Meloy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meloy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/52 "2014-02-18T04:56:33Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Careful looking back, lest you might turn into a pillar of salt. I don’t know what you’re implying. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384/53 "2014-02-18T06:45:35Z")
> [@Meloy](#): > > I don’t know what you’re implying. I’m an Atheist, so don’t take this as me being all preachy. Some suggest that the story of Lot’s wife was a metaphor. When the angel told Lot’s wife not to look back on the city, it was meant as a warning: You have made a choice to leave this life of sin. Do not look back in reverence. Because if you do, you’ll get sucked right back into that life again. I guess that metaphor works well with alcohol and tobacco. I know before I was able to quit smoking successfully, I would often convince myself “Ah, just one cigarette a day wont hurt.” And before you know it, I’m right back to smoking a full pack a day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-define-sobriety/681384.md?page=2)