# How do you eat your cheeseburgers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 30, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735 "2009-01-30T17:42:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/41 "2009-01-31T00:29:06Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > More importantly, why are you all placing your toppings on one side of the patty? That just leads to a giant mass of cold salad overshadowing the patty. Proper burger construction distributes the toppings both above and below the patty to ensure optimal meatiness. Constructed from bottom to top: Heel, onions, BBQ sauce, pickles, patty, cheese, tomato, mustard, ketchup, crown. Eaten crown up, heel down. You’re insane. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/42 "2009-01-31T01:14:55Z")
I will have to try the crown down method over the next couple of days. I have been converted to the stem down method of banana eating, and I can see the theory behind the crown holding things together better. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/43 "2009-01-31T02:37:51Z")
First I remove tomato, pickles and lettuce, and eat them. I’m eating a cheeseburger, not a salad. Then I hold the burger right-side-up and eat all around the edge. Then the middle. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/44 "2009-01-31T02:52:54Z")
The correct American way to eat a cheeseburger is with bacon. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/45 "2009-01-31T03:58:43Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > I will have to try the crown down method over the next couple of days. I have been converted to the stem down method of banana eating, and I can see the theory behind the crown holding things together better. I’m sorry the banana what? ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/46 "2009-01-31T04:16:53Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > The correct American way to eat a cheeseburger is with bacon. I hate bacon, so that’s right out. **Antigen** ’s way is the only sensible method. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/47 "2009-01-31T04:48:58Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > I’m sorry the banana what? Instead of holding the banana stem up and peeling it by snapping the stem backwards, you hold it stem down. You pinch the other end, which separates the peel into nice fairly evenly divided strips, and also removes the little woody bit you get at that end. The stem provides a nice handle. It is much easier. I’m told that this is how monkeys generally eat bananas, and they would know. I found it bizarre at first, but having tried it I’m convinced. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/48 "2009-01-31T05:55:28Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > I’m told that this is how monkeys generally eat bananas, and they would know. > > I found it bizarre at first, but having tried it I’m convinced. I’m not quite convinced that I wish to emulate monkeys in my eating habits. 😃 Although I’m sure my three small sons would be in favor of it. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/49 "2009-01-31T06:32:42Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Instead of holding the banana stem up and peeling it by snapping the stem backwards, you hold it stem down. You pinch the other end, which separates the peel into nice fairly evenly divided strips, and also removes the little woody bit you get at that end. The stem provides a nice handle. It is much easier. I’m told that this is how monkeys generally eat bananas, and they would know. > > I found it bizarre at first, but having tried it I’m convinced. Ah, but do you directly take bites, or do what I do? I use my fingers to break off chunks of banana and pop them in my mouth, with no unsightly bite marks on the uneaten portion. Bonus points when the lengthwise thirds break off at different lengths. Madness, you say? I possess a clarity on gustatory matters that you could only dream of! _Maniacal Laugh_ ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/50 "2009-01-31T06:46:23Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Ah, but do you directly take bites, or do what I do? I use my fingers to break off chunks of banana and pop them in my mouth, with no unsightly bite marks on the uneaten portion. Bonus points when the lengthwise thirds break off at different lengths. > > Madness, you say? I possess a clarity on gustatory matters that you could only dream of! > _Maniacal Laugh_ All of which makes me quite interested in your position on cheeseburger\* orientation. - As a hoomin, I am often unable to correctly spell cheezburger. ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/51 "2009-01-31T13:23:25Z")
I propose we build a [wall](http://www.angelfire.com/tn2/minsrecipes/ChildrensCookBookNook/ButterBattle.htm). All the Yooks on one side with their sesame-side-up and the Zooks on the other with sesame-side down. I know that I have my Tough-Tufted Prickly Snick-Berry Switch ready to defend my side of the wall from any dissenting souls on the wrong side of the wall. FWIW, if I have a burger from a restaurant, I like to eat it from the top down. I’ll start with the top bun, eat then. Then, work my way to any solid toppings like lettuce or tomatoes and eat those. The meat portion will be eaten like a piece of salsbury steak and finally the bottom bun will finish off my meal. I only do this with take out orders though. I wouldn’t actually eat like that where other people could watch. For burgers made at home, I eat them sans bun with lots of pepper and brown deli mustard. ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/52 "2009-01-31T13:42:08Z")
I Start from the middle. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/53 "2009-01-31T14:18:34Z")
When I make veggie burgers, I eat the bottom of the bun with all the fixings on it. Then I eat the top part of the bun with all the little sesame seeds on it separately so I can savor the sesame seed goodness. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/54 "2009-01-31T14:32:00Z")
How do I eat my cheeseburgers? With relish! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/55 "2009-01-31T15:05:38Z")
I am just going to point out to my husband that I am not the only one who flips the burger upside down to eat. Humph. He said I was weird. He says that a lot. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/56 "2009-02-01T01:58:52Z")
Would you believe that if your burger is constructed from two gluten-free waffles there isn’t a top or bottom to worry about? ---
**Author:** ![Gwyen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/858c86/32.png) [@Gwyen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gwyen)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/57 "2009-02-01T01:59:17Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > I hate bacon, so that’s right out. Well now that is absurd, you don’t even know what you are talking about! Don’t like bacon… harrumph > [@EpicNonsense](#): > > I Start from the middle. cite? I eat mine top up, ketchup, cheese, and bacon only thank you. I may accept others eating them with the garden, but never bottom up! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/58 "2009-02-01T02:21:17Z")
I’ve heard of people eating cheeseburgers upside down, but I don’t believe I’ve ever actually seen it. Everybody I know eats burgers with the top bun on top. I can’t imagine why anyone would do it any other way (although I see explanations in this thread.) Anyhow, topside up here, and onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard–that’s it. I generally avoid lettuce, tomato, and any mayo-based condiments on mine, although I make an exception for In N Out. ---
**Author:** ![bink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@bink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bink)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/59 "2009-02-01T02:54:14Z")
With a knife and fork. I make/order mine without the bun. (When I did eat buns, though, I ate them the normal way. You upside down people are crazy.) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735/60 "2009-02-01T04:27:02Z")
They would have to eat them upside down in Australia, wouldn’t they? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-eat-your-cheeseburgers/483735.md?page=4)