Sarahfeena, in my culture it’s not done to distinguish if she’s a boy or a girl. All the initial gifts are gold, and often a new baby girl will get a pair of gold earrings. It’s just tradition.
I had mine done when I was 13 or so, and remember it as being no worse than a bee sting. Hurt like the dickens for about 10 seconds and my eyes watered, but in all respects less painful than the innoculation booster shots I got at roughly the same time. The second set I had done with a needle (as opposed to a gun) and they hurt even less. Having my nose pierced was somewhere between the two as far as pain was considered.
In either case, I don’t have strong feelings about it one way or another. It’s a common occurence in a number of cultures - so it doesn’t squick me out to see a baby with earrings, but as my culture isn’t one of those where it’s common, I’ll probably let it go until any daughter I may have is a pre-teen/early teen.
I think the people who are declaiming pierced baby ears as barbaric and unhygienic and expressing concern about the danger are either seeking to justify their own preferences as to body modification as something more substantial than a mere preference or misinformed, but YMMV of course.
Sorry, didn’t mean to imply that this is the ONLY reason it is ever done. Outside of certain cultures that have this as a tradition, this is often cited as a reason for doing it, and I was responding to mentions of it in this thread.
I have a girlfriend who is married into an Indian family…she has not had her daughter’s ears pierced (she is maybe 7 or 8 years old now), and her husband’s side of the family thinks this is very odd! 
Same here – and my brother’s 19 months younger than me! Go figure.
To repeat what I said upthread, Hindus (at least) do not distinguish between boys and girls and pierce traditionally on the 12th (or whatever day it is, around there) following the birth during the naming ceremony.
Nor is it traditionally done with a gun, which in general causes more trauma to the area being pierced. Generally it’s a needle or a sterilised wire.
Not terribly sure but both nose piercing and ear piercing are pretty traditional amongst Middle Easterners as well.
I do find the whole “well, I’m sure it’s your culture but where I come from it’s TRASHY” attitude interesting. I find plenty of things about how Americans raise their children quite curious (like waiting to toilet train as late as they do) but I don’t have such a visceral reaction of horror to it.
There is something to this, though in the few cases of sensitivity developing, it develops after several years. I cannot put any earrings in my ears but (as far as I know) solid gold, or titanium. Maybe surgical steel. Anything else, and the itching and burning begins almost instantly.
One of my nieces is the same way.
As an adjunct to this, I had several of my upper-cartilege piercings get infected to the point I had to have systemic antibiotics and scrub with antiseptic the exterior, which was so revolting that it makes me recoil to think of it even now. I had the piercings done properly with a needle in a tattoo shop when I was an adult; they healed properly. But they were just in a position of weakness. I used to have 12 piercings total. Now I have 7. The others had to be allowed to heal shut.
When I say “The child has to be able to understand the risks and accept them,” this is one of those risks I’m thinking of: an infection that won’t clear up with a little drop of rubbing alcohol or a dab of Neosporin. Having an allergy to the metal in the stud could certainly predispose the tissue to an infection, I would think, besides the “mere” itching/swelling/burning factor.
Certainly that was true when and were I was raised. We were allowed to get our ears pierced at 13. It was a big deal. Some other girls had pierced ears earlier but none before, say, 9 or 10, and some not at all.
When I was growing up, no one was talking about it being unhygenic or unsafe. It was low-class, period. You didn’t do it for the same reason you didn’t let your little girl wear nylon stockings or high-heel shoes or old torn clothes – because those were markers of a girl who wasn’t “raised right.” The prejudice was purely economic, not racial or ethnic. The implied criticism was against those who were ignorant and poor, not against those who were not white. This is no defense; the prejudice wasn’t racially based because where I grew up, virtually everyone was white. There were no little non-white ethnic girls, period, with or without pierced ears. The only exception was a few Native American girls, who did not get pierced ears early. They experienced prejudice just from being Native and were not looking to add a negative social marker to what was already a harder row to hoe.
And as I read this, it’s striking me with force how amazingly stupid it all is. It’s funny the things we sort of absorb as “important” when they so clearly are not. Guess I’ll work harder to set that baggage down.
Well, okay, here’s an anecdote for contrast:
I had braces. I remember it hurting every week for years, not being able to eat, being teased brutally by classmates for the metal in my mouth, having the damned braces digging holes inside my cheeks and lips, and you know what? I still have crooked teeth, thanks to my wisdom teeth coming in/ trying to come in. I bet they’re no more crooked than they would have been without the braces. Now what was all that pain and suffering for?
If somebody’s teeth are <em>medically</em> a concern, that’s one thing. But a little bit of crookedness never hurt anybody.
As for the being “too cheap” bit…if your insurance doesn’t pay for it, and your orthodontist wants nearly as much every month as your mortgage company, and you’re living damn near on the edge already…you can’t tell somebody “Get a second mortage, borrow money you can’t afford to pay back.” You have to live in the present, first. Sometimes the future has to look out for itself. That is not being too cheap. That’s keeping people fed and clothed and housed, and in my mind that’s being responsible.
And I’ll also add this: in American culture, there seems to be a lot of focus on appearance as if this were the truly vital thing about a person. So you wind up with Hollywood actresses starving themselves into the hospital, teenaged boys taking steroids so they can get “ripped” muscles, and 18 year old girls getting breast implants.
But seriously: think of somebody you know with mildly crooked teeth (someone other than yourself). Does the fact they have crooked teeth make you think less of them as a person? Do you, in fact, even notice it after the first few times you talk to them? Is it not just part of who they are? (This is a separate issue from whether they like their own teeth.)
As I’ve said, my teeth went all crooked again after I had years of torture-by-braces. It didn’t stop my husband from meeting me, liking me, marrying me, or staying with me for 15 years now. He also has mildly crooked teeth. They do not offend me.
I’m also not at all convinced that "children feel less pain than adults’. I think children feel plenty of pain. It’s just that adults tell them it’s for their own good, or have the power or authority to override the child’s wishes, or even the child’s right to not feel pain for a cosmetic modification.
Now, let me add my caveat: If a tooth or teeth are genuinely problematic, they should be addressed - that’s a medical issue. If the child wishes something done (and I think by 9 or so they can certainly understand what is involved), then it should also be addressed. But that’s still not the same as kids getting auto-braces simply because a couple of teeth are a little crooked.
It’s possible I’m especially hot about this because my childrens’ dentist simply seems to expect that my kids will get braces for pure aesthetic reasons. Yes, they have mildly crooked teeth. But it’s an expectation I don’t quite understand, yet carries the weight of a “medical recommendation”. We can’t even begin to afford it, and no, our insurance won’t pay. And I remember my own experience with braces. So…what, should I switch to another dentist who isn’t so cavalier? Ask him what medical problem he’s hoping to avert? I don’t know yet.
I remember getting my ears pierced when I was 6. It was kind of a big deal, and I think being brave enough to risk the pain is an important step in growing up. I had a huge needle fear, but getting my ears pierced helped me get over it (although my ears were pierced with a gun at Claire’s. I know better now).
My Dad, who would certainly have had me circumcised had I been male, put a stop to any plans my Mum might have had to pierce my ears as a newborn, on the grounds that it was mutilation. :dubious:
I thanked them for it throughout my childhood. Even though it was the norm where I grew up, I was a tomboy and would have hated to have to wear anything as girly as earrings! All changed when I was 17, but that was punk, not girly. By the time I was 20 I had two ‘mutilations’ in each ear and a nose-piercing (short-lived).
I still think jewellery of any sort looks tacky on children, and that they should be allowed to decide for themselves, probably in their teens, whether to have anything pierced.
And yes, those lacy head band thingies for girl babies make me feel ill.
Putting earrings on a baby is a very strong indicator of low-class white trash parents.
There’s five years between me and my brother. We still get asked if we’re twins.
As for the OP, I had mine done as a baby (following Indian tradition) fairly soon after I came out of hospital. I had tiny pure gold hoops which had been soldered shut, and then when I got older, I graduated to tiny studs which has a screw back. Its just cultural rather than anything else, I think.
Woah, at first I read this as “How do you feel about eating babies?” Ummm, not real good but thanks for making sure.
We didn’t pierce our daughter’s ears (she’s 2 1/2) and never even considered it. A lot of infants around here have their ears pierced which appears to be cultural with the large hispanic community. I’ll admit it’s been ingrained in me that I don’t like the look of earrings on little girls but I don’t really think about it much.
As far as differentiating between boys and girls it doesn’t really matter what you do. We never did the head bow thing with my daughter but she was born with a full head of hair. When I was a toddler in the early 70s my mom let my hair grow long and curly and people would think I was a girl even while wearing obvious boys clothes (there’s a nice embarrassing picture of me in a red plaid suit complete with vest and matching bow tie).
Along the “inflicting pain on babies line” even though piercings were never considered for my daughter we were going to have my son circumcised. It turns out it can’t be done (the foreskin is too small) and would need to be revisitied in 6 months. Thinking it over more I’m actually glad it couldn’t be done and will not revisit the issue.
I love the look of earrings on babies, and was seriously considering it for my theoretical little girl…right up to the point Elora was born.
Now I can’t imagine doing it.
I’ve decided she can get her ears pierced just as soon as she asks for it. Of course, given that kids sometimes decide that anything their parents do is loserish, and I have 10 earrings and a nose ring, she may never want to.
I still have no problem with it, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I had my first set done at 8 at the hairdressers. And as some others have said, all the ear piercings combined didn’t hurt one tenth as much as the nose.
We pierced our daughter Anya’s ears, when she was 18 months old.
In Hawaii, we’re about 17 months late in piercing ears.
This is totally off-topics, but your daughter is just gorgeous. I love seeing all her pictures! (And I didn’t realize anyone else took as many photos are their child as I do)
Meh! shrug I am not sure I would do it to my theoretical daughter, but I think that it is cute and am not opposed to it. I got mine pierced at 15 and am not sure I would do it again. With my job in food manufacturing, I don’t wear earrings much but when I do, I think they are cute. So does my boyfriend. So do most people. I don’t think it is white trash-related since I grew up with alot of white trash and the only babies I saw with piercings were Hispanic or of unknown Indian-type ethnic groups (I don’t know exactly what groups, but as a kid I thought everyone with the medium-dark shade of skin was Indian). I don’t think it is mutilation, just decoration.
Oh yeah. My camera is up to picture 101_4162. Since I got the camera shortly before I was born, I guess that means I’ve taken around 14,000 pictures of her.
Sounds about right.
The earringed-babies is also popular with Asians and Pacific Islanders (or maybe it’s just a Hawaii thing). It’s quite common to see infants with multiple gold bracelets, too.
I just don’t quite get where adults get the idea that they have a right to decorate their children by poking bits of metal through their skin. Honestly, there are enough darling items of clothing in the world to avoid having to do that…and gender-specific, too, to avoid questions of ‘is it a boy or a girl?’*
Also, why is it okay to poke a piece of metal through this bit of the body, and not that bit? Is that a matter of culture, of custom, of medical risk?
*Not that this stops people from asking if your frill-and-pink clothed child is a boy.