# How do you get a Japanese girlfriend? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469 "2010-01-18T21:30:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/21 "2010-01-18T23:58:49Z")
Does your friend know how to get a girlfriend in general? If so, he should keep doing that, but just with Japanese girls. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/22 "2010-01-19T00:51:23Z")
Learn karate. They love that. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/23 "2010-01-19T00:57:47Z")
no, my friend has never had any girlfriend ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/24 "2010-01-19T00:57:54Z")
[Right here…](http://www.ajapaneseprincess.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/25 "2010-01-19T01:00:01Z")
Sneak into her room at night and just _stare_ at her. Or does that only work on unnaturally pale, klutzy American girls? ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/26 "2010-01-19T01:00:24Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > my friend wants to know Right. Your “friend.” ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/27 "2010-01-19T01:02:10Z")
> [@bump](#): > > [Right here…](http://www.ajapaneseprincess.com/) Visiting that website was like going back to 1996 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/28 "2010-01-19T01:14:02Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Your “friend”, huh? 😉 > > How about wearing one of [these shirts](http://www.animecastle.com/c-24702-im-looking-for-a-japanese-girlfriend-t-shirts.aspx)? I’d translate those shirts more as “Currently accepting applications for Japanese girlfriends,” but then what do I know? Ummm, well, speaking from personal experience, there are a few ways: 1. Play Final Fantasy XI for a year and a half. Learn simple Japanese. Play with Japanese people and meet a girl that way. Highly unlikely, but it worked for me. 2)Join a language exchange website and have a relationship form that way. 3)Go to Japan. 4)Use the Gaijin Smash! Best of luck I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/29 "2010-01-19T01:17:03Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > no, my friend has never had any girlfriend Well then I doubt he has any business trying to go foreign the first time around. Seriously, for several reasons. First, why? Second – if he’s been unsuccessful forming relationships with people closer to his linguistic/geographical/ethnic background, this sounds like Magical Thinking – I’ll go to Japan, where girls are totally different! Sounds like avoiding a problem or trying to skip the hard parts of relationship building. Third – intercultural dating is fine, but it’s not a first step, for most people, and it comes with inherent degrees of difficulty. And dating is not diving – there are no points for degree of difficulty! And, openness to other cultures is one thing, but “I want a[ny] Japanese girlfriend” borders on depersonalizing or even creepy (and I am not known as much of a women’s libber). Four – so much of dating is about communication. It does \ help matters, in most cases, to raise the barriers to communication by trying to hook up with someone whose verbal and non-verbal communication patterns are very different from your own. I work with Japanese all the time, have for years, some are my friends – and even so, about once every two weeks I have a “Huh?” moment when I get a weird response, or I sense I’ve made them uncomfortable by asking an overly direct question or not observing some unwritten social rule. Or I’ll go out boozing with them night after night – and then they’ll ignore an e-mail inviting them to a party. Point is, even after years of interaction, I’d be dubious about dating a Japanese chick. Your friend sounds like he’s got even less clue on how to successfully read someone from a very different culture. I’ve dated outside my geographic and ethnic cohort, and it’s often been very successful. But it’s also always involved moderate to significant challenges (on both ends). Just IME, having navigated the basics of wooing and managing a relationship in my own cohort was a sine qua non for later venturing more broadly. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/30 "2010-01-19T01:21:59Z")
Would Chinese do? Because [these women](http://www.bigbadchinesemama.com/) seem ready and willing to serve your every need. ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/31 "2010-01-19T01:32:05Z")
I don’t think your friend wants a girlfriend. It sounds more like he wants a sexkitten who will also do his laundry for him. We’re all into what we’re into buddy, but knock off the fetish, don’t put women on a pedestal, take **Driver8** and **Huerta88** ’s advice. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/32 "2010-01-19T01:45:36Z")
I hear they like tentacles. Lots of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/33 "2010-01-19T02:17:32Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > my friend wants to know I found mine in a box of Hello Kitty cereal. I suspected the box was a bit heavier than normal but thought nothing of it. Best prize ever! ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/34 "2010-01-19T02:25:48Z")
Tell him to stop fetishizing the other. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/35 "2010-01-19T02:38:57Z")
Take my ex-wife…please! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/36 "2010-01-19T02:58:55Z")
Word to the wise - remember Pearl Harbour! ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/37 "2010-01-19T03:04:51Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Word to the wise - remember Pearl Harbour! That’s the point, he wants to Pearl her Harbor, or Harbor in her Pearl or… something… ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/38 "2010-01-19T03:04:54Z")
> [@Peanuthead](#): > > Take my ex-wife…please! 😃 Yeah, if nothing else the guy could, if he pursues this course, both figure out that whatever culture-wide traits he thinks he’ll benefit from either aren’t borne out or are accompanied by other culture-wide predelictions that are far from attractive (the kawaii ne??!! stuff gets a little old in the tooth at 30). Or the even bigger lesson that you date individuals, not groups, and get to enjoy each individual’s particular set of flaws. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/39 "2010-01-19T03:33:44Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > no, my friend has never had any girlfriend Please clarify as to what your friend is looking for. Is your friend asking for advice on becoming friends with local Japanese ladies, or is he looking for some sort of dating service? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469/40 "2010-01-19T03:33:57Z")
Hey, I not only got a Japanese girlfirend, I married her! Of course, she’s Japanese-American. From Cleveland. And a Lutheran. But the way she makes macaroni and cheese…WOW! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-a-japanese-girlfriend/525469.md?page=3)